8 Comments
 

if you need a car and there's a bunch of empty yellowcabs around you, USE IT.
do NOT call an Uber.
makes you look absolutely misguided/stupid.

 
Best Response

Do: *Try to fuck your manager if she's hot. *Look everyone in the eyes and do some pushups before the first day. Wear your best cutoff with letters on it so everyone knows you aren't to be fucked with. *Try to fuck your manager's girlfriend if she's hot. *Wear shorts and a blazer - very F. *Try to fuck your bartender if she's hot (she's not just flirting for your money bro, she really wants you).

Don't: *Pass up on an opportunity to try and fuck your manager if she's hot. *Take any shit. If that lanky analyst asks you to edit your pitchbook once you've already been through it twice, drop that sucker right there. Give him one clean punch straight to the throat so you know he's down for the count. *Wear socks with your Sperrys. NF. *Snapchat your internship. It's gay.

 

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