Investment banking survival for Men

I've seen a lot of guys melt down and break down during the analyst stint. Here are some pointers, from my experience, on surviving investment banking and coming out on top.

1. Work out regularly. Lift some fucking real weights and don't just do cardio like some fucking pussy.

2. Your coworkers are your coworkers - NOT YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS. Win their RESPECT, not friendship

3. Get your sleep or you will start fucking up at your job, and then get booted.

4. Jerk off and fuck regularly. Just don't fuck sluts - find a clean fuckbuddy and go to town.

5. Drink and use drugs moderately. Don't be a "Dom-chugging-coke-sniffing" cliche. Too much alcohol decreases your testosterone and makes you lose your drive at work.

6. Just because you finished econ / finance at an ivy league school, don't mean your education is over. Read some motherfucking books. Keep your brain sharp.

7. NEVER let your boss use you as a rug. Always stay alpha but don't challenge the MD. That will make him respect you enough not to walk over you. At the same time, he won't be threatened by you and have the need to put you down.

8. Always look like you are working your ass off. Even if you're not.

That's about it.