Is dating a 'buyer's market' after 25?
I noticed once I turned 25 (3 months ago) and have my life somewhat (barely) in order / take decent care of myself I suddenly have way more dating prospects. From 18-23 especially it seemed like girls my age would either have been in long term relations, were going crazy (don't want to date those), or going for older guys. Maybe I've just been a little more confident in myself or something
Depends entirely city to city.
NYC, Scottsdale, Miami favor men because of the male/female ratio
Houston, Man Francisco favor women because of the male/female ratio
Others in between
Congrats on Scottsdale
I live in north Scottsdale. It’s pretty great
ultimately always depends on the class of girl your looking for
economically impoverished women, yes you are cleaning up. Heck some pakistani has 4 wives working as an uber driver
What if we're striving for high class girls
Take the Head and move on
Based on the most helpful WSO content, the idea of dating being a "buyer's market" after 25 aligns with some observations shared in various threads. Here's the breakdown:
Increased Social Value Over Time: Several contributors on WSO have noted that as men age, their social and dating value tends to increase, especially if they have their life in order. This is often attributed to factors like career stability, financial independence, and increased confidence, which become more attractive to potential partners.
Shifting Dynamics in Age Groups: From 18-23, many women may still be exploring their options, focusing on personal growth, or dating older men who are perceived as more established. After 25, the dating pool often shifts as people start prioritizing long-term compatibility and stability, which could explain why you're seeing more prospects now.
Confidence and Self-Care: Confidence and taking care of yourself are significant factors in dating success. If you've recently improved in these areas, it could be contributing to your increased appeal.
Timing and Maturity: As people mature, their priorities and preferences evolve. This often leads to a more balanced and intentional approach to dating, which might make it feel like a "buyer's market" for those who are ready to settle down or pursue meaningful relationships.
In short, your experience isn't unusual. Many have observed that dating prospects improve with age, especially when you focus on self-improvement and confidence. Keep leveraging this momentum!
Sources: Have not dated in 3 years, 30 year old Male - Q&A, From Real Estate Finance to Founder of Development Company - Q&A, Have not dated in 3 years, 30 year old Male - Q&A, Selfish Ask for Help in Situation, Return of Tech Earnings? | The Daily Peel | 7/21/22
i would say it got >10x easier after 25. like basically pre-25 i was begging from a crumb of pussy but after 25 i was knee deep drowning in wet pussy. i am average looking but had a 99th percentile finance job. i personally know no normal people who got married in nyc if finance bro unless truly elite on golden path or preferably from elite family. there are a few exceptions like if you are in certain religious/ethnic groups. in my experience, indians/jews/muslims/catholics etc have no problem finding a wife. but if you are whiteboy atheist liberal basically my experience is once a woman makes more than $200K you basically need to make 3x that or more to find a wife in NYC. recommend you do EB -> UMM PE -> HBS -> VP in PE if u want a woman who is more attractive than a 7 to actually marry you. an exception is you can make equal or less than a woman who makes this much if you will inherit $10M+ or so -- i have seen cases of this. (of course, if you meet someone in HS/college then none of this applies. this is the best case scenario where you are on easy mode.) however, if you just want to hit it i would say you can do very well and will have no problem even if you do not fit into any of the cases above. hinge / bumble have shareholders to please so you will need to stick to the program, which to be honest many people are fine with. you can have a bit of a harem no problem at all if this is what you'd like provided you are reasonably successful and have a nice apartment. honestly women are incredibly simple in this way. some women are much better at hiding their materialism, but to date I have never met a woman who is not materialistic in NYC. people will say "not everyone is like that." one way i have found to find women who are less materialistic is to make a lot more money. after a couple years, many women would rather be lesbian than settle unless you are truly elite or religious. i wish i was joking but in my experience this fits the data. my best advice is to either enjoy the dating marketplace for what it is (e.g., have a harem) or move eventually if you would like to have a wife.
Why do you think that is, like what about being 25+ helped. I think a lot of girls peak before that maybe that’s why but as a guy you can keep improving
how is this not obvious? there is no consistent set of preferences that would lead a woman to chose a 20-25 year old man working in finance vs. a 25-30 year old man. it is a clearly irrational option. if she wants fun, you are not fun at that age. if she wants rich, you are less rich than you will be in 2 years. if she wants good looking, it's unlikely you are the most in that category. she also realistically isn't looking to settle down yet. if your point is that "well she might lock down someone better by discounting your future attractiveness as a mate" ok let me stop you right there - that's not how it works unfortunately sorry. even if you want to assume their behavior is rational, wouldn't it be better to just see how you turn out? i wish it didn't work this way, but in my experience it does. another general factor is women generally prefer to date someone equal or older than them. the only exception is 30+ year old women since they start to loosen that requirement at that age.
in practice however what actually happens is that these women typically end up with no one unfortunately because by the time they have done this plan their standards will have been raised quite a bit.
by the way, I don't at all think all women are this way. many or most women across the world are not like this. but i do think the dating pool in NYC that you will find on dating apps as a finance bro that is liberal and non-religious is in fact this way. i wish it wasn't cut and dry but the exceptions are just the ones that i identified above. yes of course not all people are like this it's just that i personally have seen no exceptions in my life and the few exceptions were ultimately found to not be exceptions upon further examination.
Don’t listen to a word this retard clown bozo says
"I was knee deep drowning in wet pussy"
These are the sentences that bring me back to this website.
As an aside how exactly does one drown while only being knee-deep?
Top tier smut btw, u are leaving money on the table if u don't write this stuff as a side hustle.
yeah smut is good exit opp from finance bro w harem life
someone get this dude on subway takes
Citadel and "getting pussy" in the same sentance is surreal
I think I would rather kill my entire family and then proceed to blow my brains out with a 12 gauge than to ever have to read a single thing you ever write
I mean this with all disrespect but you sound absolutely disgustingly vile and I hope you find God and a very very very very patient therapist
This is hilarious I'm dying 😭😭😭😭
In a large city it can be. If you don't have your life together, as others have mentioned, it's not going to magically change when you turn 25. If you're primarily using dating apps, a lot of women filter age on the low range starting from 25-27 from what I gathered. For guys in the top few percentiles of looks and height, it probably doesn't change much, or maybe even gets worse as they age, but by definition, this is very few guys.
Don't overcomplicate it, as a man it generally only gets better as you get older. That's because it takes time to develop the qualities and income a lot of women are looking for
I look at a lot of my friends who got married in their mid or late 20s and their lives look awful - wives no longer attractive, constantly complaining, etc.
As somebody who is still single in their early / mid 30s, you are going to change a lot as a person from 25 to 30 and so on, and the values you want in a partner will change as well. I have also seen a lot of people get married in the last 5 years, only to have their wives become massive liberals and go fully off the deep end
Be patient, but also be the type of person who somebody wants to be with. Trying to use your income / career as a main selling point to women is for losers, become an interesting person who takes care of themselves
what about as a woman who’s single
I'm obviously not a women, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. Though I can probably give a non-jaded perspective
If I had a daughter, what I would recommend is to genuinely begin dating for marriage in the 25-27 range. This is because even if you meet the love of your life tomorrow, you're probably 5 years away from having kids - 2 years dating, 1 year engaged, married and then a kid...rough math but you get the point. And this is assuming you don't go through a breakup, etc.
To be blunt, I consider myself on the higher-end of guys (I am decent-looking, but not a model, 6 foot, in very good shape, make a lot of money and have a great career, etc.) and in my early / mid 30s, I am not interested in anything serious with a girl >30, mostly because I want multiple kids and the timeline I laid out above, regardless of how attractive or successful she is. All of my guy friends in my position are the same way.
One other thing to add is I couldn't care less about a girl's career or job (as long as she's not a deadbeat), I am looking for somebody who shares my values and would be a great mother to my children. I feel like a lot of women go balls deep into a career because that's what they think they want and assume it will make them more attractive to a potential partner or somebody like me, but really it may be the opposite - somebody will have to take a step back and it's not going to be me
As a guy, my biggest mistake was not thinking about the timeline above when I was in my late 20s and dating more seriously. I am in a position now where I won't get married before 35, kids shortly thereafter, at the earliest. Which is ok, but just something to think about for anyone in their mid to late 20s in an intense career
Hope this helps
No money, no honey.
incoming FT analyst moving to nyc after i graduate undergrad next may, do u think i should just focus on work instead of women until after the 2 yrs?
depends how seaty ur bank is
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
pics? how long?
The tides definitely turn around this time, especially if you have >=3 of the following: 1) As you said, your life in order (you can shave and clean your apartment without your mom reminding you), 2) a good career, 3) youre decent looking, 4) youre in decent shape, 5) you have a decent personality.
What people in their early 20s fail to realize is that the most elite job in finance is still just one of the 5 considerations. Sure its a huge one, and sure being rich can attract plenty of gold diggers even if you lack the other 4, but assuming your end goal is marriage with someone you love, banking / PE is still just one of the critical boxes.
I was just thinking about this as a friend and I grabbed lunch today. He has a very attractive girlfriend, that took him a while to "win over" in college. Well fast forward a few years, and I bet she is DYING for him to pop the question. His nerdiness has paid off, he has a great job and a very bright future. He has a little money in his pocket now, so his wardrobe has improved tremendously. He was always a decent looking dude and has always been in decent shape and taken care of himself. He has a nice place, and he has a great personality (positive, funny, kind).
Now on the contrary, lets talk about his GF. His girlfriend has a mediocre job, and shes very pretty, and has a decent personality. Shes also a bit older than him, ~30.
I would wager at 28, he is 10x more sought after than she is, as far as marriage and long-term relationship prospects go. Does she hold the upper hand in first dates / hookups? Probably, she's a beautiful girl after all. But for all the women looking to settle down, I would bet hes a pretty good option.
Yes finally the voice of reason. Agree with your list and add values and a vision and a purpose in life that is greater than you
Women are meant to be led, and if they don’t believe in your ability to lead them they’ll lose respect for you (in my opinion). I am religious and hold myself to these values and find women find this incredibly attractive, but replace religion with anything else that shows them you have leadership and consistency they can trust their lives in
100% noticed this. I don't know if it was also because I moved to a good city for dating or something like that too.
I think all the guys without real family starting potential get wiped out lol.
So if you have a real job, are in even OK-ish shape, it's pretty easy.
I suspect another fairly obvious reason why this would be the case is a lot of guys kind of give up / lose by 25. Like they fall behind the pack and then have to settle but girls are pretty ambitious for finding high tier guys especially if they are fairly attractive or bring a good amount to the table.
Is your mum for sale in the buyers market?
I am also interested
You will find that being a guy who is well put together (5/10 would do 3/10 if you are 6'+, being well dressed and well groomed are more important), not socially awkward, and has a top 1% job is more rare than it is to be a >= 7/10 girl. It shouldn't be a surprise. The former takes years of consistent work while the latter only requires you to do makeup and be not unfit while not being extremely unlucky with genetics.
In college you're a dime a dozen even if you go to an ivy. Just after graduating you might have some name brand job, but you still don't have the money yet until a few years in. Now that you are a few years in, naturally you are in a "buyer's market".
It depends on you:
It also depends on what you're looking for. After 25 it's more difficult to find hookups, even if you are making great money. Girls your age will be trying to settle down and playing hard to get even if they were complete thots in college. And younger girls will be mainly hooking up with guys their age.
I partied too hard in college and had a 2.09, but I went to a Target. I hated my major too (Poli Sci). Got into banking off an internship in valuation. My GPA never came up but when I got into an EB I did not party that hard because I had been partying hard for 4 years. My MD found out my GPA at a happy hour and he thought I was kidding. I showed him my transcript and all he said is "THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME!" I still ended up at a top tier MBA program and finished the CFA two years into banking.
crazy that your GPA didn't come up. as I remember, banks even ask you to input it when applying and then it's used to auto-reject people without high GPA. and they definitely would ask it during interview if it wasn't on CV. I'm assuming you have strong connections (family?).
I don’t think so to be honest. It could be but it probably is for guys who would’ve done better if they had more time (I.e., time was what held them back). I’m 28 y/o and my dating life is the same as pre-25 (non-existent) and live in NY.
I’m 6’0”, had / have a good career (EB -> MF -> large Tiger Cub), live in a nice / well kept place, and make a lot of money. Leave aside getting no hinge matches, not even gold diggers are interested / I don’t know where to find them.
I’ve sort of accepted this is just not something that’ll work out for me. The time / effort requirement is too all-consuming. It’s depressing to even think about, given how easy it seems to be for other people.
I’ve switched my focus to career, hobbies, and learning. I’m hoping to make enough to retire soon and take bigger career risks - start a company.
I wouldn’t focus too much on the self-improvement advice to improve your dating life. It’s non-sense advice. B/c that advice is Reddit-tier for a basement dweller. Some of the ppl I know who have no problem dating off of Hinge have no hobbies other than watching CFB & DraftKings.
The only advice I have for dating in NY is be 5’10”+, white, not fat. Being rich maybe helps (didn’t do anything for me) but tbh if you are tall enough you can just find a girl who is wealthy.
How tall?
I said in the post, I’m 6’0”
Dam
del
It’s not an “Incel” mindset. It matters on the apps. You get less matches, especially in NYC. This comment reads like an Indian / Asian kid in college getting triggered for some reason.
You probably can’t get chicks because you are a fucking loser
lol I know I’m not a loser. Dating is just tough for me. Every other part of my life is pretty good & will never have to worry about constraints (money, food, rent).
I’ve never been on a bad date. I just don’t really get very many opportunities or matches w/ healthy women (emotionally, physically, etc.). I could hold out that someone will give it a chance and get to know me but if it hasn’t happened maybe it won’t. But my life will be pretty good either way.
Sounds like you just need some more game (in the most respectful way possible). Maybe you would actually benefit from some self-improvement advice. You probably come off as "too nice" to women and you probably aren't doing enough around fitness / presentation / "advocating for yourself" in a room full of people to be the leader. If you don't want to do all that work then the results you have are pretty normal.
Appreciate the comment. Asking genuinely, what would you suggest to present better / advocate better / be a leader? I’ve never had issues with this in a social / work / professional context but get it must be different for dating / getting laid and clearly I never figured out on that end.
On the self-help advice, I just meant I don’t need to go on Reddit to be told to dress well, shave, make my bed, get a haircut, etc. I’ve been working in finance since college, like I would’ve gotten fired if I looked like a bum. I could probably do more on the fitness side and get a little bigger.
If you're thinking of it in dating/marriage material terms it will take time. That is just how it is. Genuine connections aren't made in the matter of days or weeks.
Now if you're looking for a simple hookup or fling. Spend some money, treat her like a princess but not too much, and add a little fuckboi attitude and you're good to go.
Incel fiesta in here let's gooo
Given that you just turned 25, you’re not taking much into account that your early-20s were covid-impacted. With that said, maybe you’re now qualifying to live in a high-rise apartment and can blow a bonus to build an absolutely sick bachelor pad. My advice to all analysts starting to clear that ~$150-200K mark is to be VERY careful how you invest your free time. Build friendships and hobbies outside of work and your dating prospects will compound with this new success.
As you move to mid-20s and 30’s, the less basic “finance bro” you are, the better long-term dating optionality you will have - otherwise you get placed into a singular box where you may as well have the letters ATM tattooed on your forehead and attract terrible women.
Many make the mistake of believing that they “made it” by reaching all the indicators of success from fitness and money, only to get rejected/played/cheated on for some random skinny dude that lives with 4 roommates and barely clears $70K. This heartbreak and reality check is awful.
My advice is to build an active social life and interesting hobbies (in addition to this success). A lot of quality women can sniff out when a guy is using all these “things” to compensate for a boring life and personality. Don’t become that guy.
I agree w/ what you said but disagree w/ the last point. I really don’t think women have a special radar to sniff out whether your interest in something is genuine. They just want to be able to describe you to their friends / family in a way that makes them look good / not be judged for sleeping with you. Over time it’ll reveal itself, if it’s not a genuine interest.
Sure, there's definitely women that use a man's hobbies for their own justification to friends/family if they're insecure in themselves. Those types should be avoided for anything serious beyond hookups.
I'm thinking of the women out there who may go on a date with the totally vanilla dude who will say they're into podcasts as their attempt for seeming well-rounded and list off the basic DOAC (great podcast though) or Billboard Top 10 artists when being "passionate about music" vs being active with a Volo League or jams on instrument with a group of friends as hobbies.
Just stop being a fucking bot and have a soul and an interesting life. Get out of Excel. Travel the world. Read old books. Write poetry and make music. Start a business. Fail and start again. For fucks sake, no one is attracted to the soyboy high finance bro other than stupid whoring golddiggers.
Damn I can’t relate to any of these replies, I was killing it from 21-25, shit was so effortless for me but it dropped off a lot after 25. I was always super charismatic/outgoing, and looked pretty good tho that’s what young girls care about, not how much money you make lol.
I think people who succeed more after 25+ weren’t as good looking/fun but their career/money is more appealing to women who are wanting to settle down which happens towards the mid 20s mark.
It’s gets easier in the sense that women have less options and are more of a hurry to secure something. Not the same thing as becoming more attractive/valuable to them, big difference.
I kind of agree, but only to the extent that at 21 sometimes you have a boyishness about you that works well for some ladies but at 25 that is no longer cute, so the more put together guys get ahead.
Yeah - reality is anyone making over 250k as a guy is in the top 1 percent as a guy. Women need to settle down eventually and see you as a provider. You marry her, she ages like shit, acts like a bitch towards you, and congrats you "got her"
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