Monkeys,
As year 1 closes in, I've begun struggling with what I suppose is some sort of quarter life crisis. For many of us in banking, life to this point has been a constant series of "successes"--do well in high school, go to a top college, break into a top group on Wall Street--with the next target being a coveted buyside gig.
Lately though, I've begun to seriously question what the point of it all is--sure we get paid a lot of money, but not enough to become independently wealthy anytime soon--we're still wage slaves busting our ass primarily for the benefit of some other dude's wallet. And on top of that, the work is more often degrading than it is challenging or engaging--which I'm reminded of every time I fill out a working group list or change the font size in a presentation. Even the more enjoyable parts of the job such as modeling are only so interesting once you've done them a dozen times.
Is the buyside really the promised land or just more of the same? I'm rapidly losing my interest in going into PE as all my friends a year or two ahead agree it is basically Banking 2.0. Are hedge funds really any better or will I just be a professional footnote reader making slightly more money for slightly less work?
And what's the cost of this relentless devotion to the rat race? We've all made pretty significant sacrifices to get where we are in life... soon I'll be 23 and I wonder how much of life I'm missing, 22 was spent behind a computer monitor becoming intimately familiar with powerpoint and excel. Is that really the wisest way to spend what is left of my youth?
why dont you spice your life up by fucking some chicks?
Grass is always greener my man. Totally understand your thoughts here, I went through the same struggle (and, quite frankly, go through it daily). If you've tolerated it this long, you can handle it for another year. Summer analysts will make life a LITTLE better, and the new wave of first years will mean you're no longer the bitch. Life will improve (how much depends on the group), and it will get a little more tolerable. As to the answer of "buyside," if this is your thought process you need to drop the notion that there is only one way to go. If you end up at a place where you are a financial engineer (read: Excel slave), you're right: life will suck. But if you broaden your horizons and don't just think, "I want to go to the best place, ON PAPER, possible," you might have some luck. I think you need to think about it as the best place for you. What do you enjoy about your job? What do you hate? You need to try to apply this to your next job choice. If you fucking love modeling and could do it 24/7, go to a large buyout fund -- you'll do plenty of that. If you like hopping on the phone and chatting with clients all day, or sales interests you, go to a growth equity shop where sourcing is a component of the associates job. Hate banking but like the idea of business strategy (let's face it -- there's no strategy in banking -- it's just "let's get this deal done")? Go industry. Hate everything about banking and finance? Leave the industry all together.
Thing is, lots of doors open from doing the two year stint, and it's not just in finance. Take a step back, think about what interests you (and you'll likely realize it's not the megafunds where lots of your friends go because it's the "next step"), and pursue.
I plan to fuck a 19 year old blonde tomorrow after work...say 6pm? I'm doing karaoke with friends on Wednesday, have another social gathering on Thursday, and have a date with a different girl on Friday (even hotter than tomorrow's). This is a typical week (btw I still work 60+ hrs a week, sometimes more, but I can mold my work around my social schedule, and that's the key).
I couldn't go back to PE (nevermind banking, which I've never done) if you held a gun to my head...(and btw, I'm not making as much as in PE doing what I do now...at least...not yet; I def will at some point lol)
I went through the same thing when I was your age...stuck at work thinking..."this isn't success, I don't care what anyone says, this path sucks". I had this picture in my head of what I wanted my life to be. I wanted to be my own boss, make shit happen, eat what I kill, and retire in my 30s. I decided that I would have that life, or die trying.
Most people have zero balls when it comes to their careers. Well, I got news for you, life is what YOU make it.
You're obviously not happy. Quit your job, take a couple months to discover what it is you truly want to do, and do it. I can't guarantee you'll make more money or be as "successful". But...I CAN guarantee you that, if you don't listen to my advice, many years from now, when you're dying in your bed, you'd give it all back for just one chance to follow your dreams, whatever they may be.
The real question is, what makes YOU happy? Where do you really want to be?
I think I am doing it right- I lived most of my 20's to the fullest, and have now landed at a new hedge fund, making 2-300k per year, probably a great deal more if we do well. There are a lot of people on here that are all "millions a year or bust" and I think most of them are really optimistic about their future prospects. Even in NYC, 200k is a lot of money. Sure you can be one of those guys that starts proclaiming the world ends at the Hudson and East rivers, but right over the river that money goes damn far, and above 90th street it seems to go even farther.
I am a bit different in that I grew up in the area as well. I have family and friends in the area, so a personal life was more important to me. If I transplanted from more than a few hundred miles away and didn't have anyone here except a few shallow friends I made along the way, the workaholic route would have been more attractive. "Stuff" doesn't make me happy. In fact, the older I get, the more unencumbered I want to be. I find I am happiest when I am around friends. That's what makes me happy. Some people, many who are on this board, like to throw their money around, and buy flashy stuff. I think the stuff ends up owning you. If your friends are sitting on your X thousand dollar couch w/ red wine and your blood pressure is rising because they are drunk and might spill it- you don't own that couch, that couch owns you.
Maybe you want the couch and some giant house or apartment on fifth. If so, keep your head down, and keep on banging out those power point edits. If not, remember its ok to leave at 7 to meet friends sometimes, or even to just go sit in the park on a warm evening.
I personally would rather sit on a plastic lawnchair in my buddy's backyard and drink some budlight with friends who aren't afraid to let loose than hang out at some charity event rubbing shoulders, with society, but that's a choice you have to make.
I think its important to remember that even when you "fail" and don't get MD, or VP by 30, or whatever, you are still killing it on an absolute scale.