Just How Fucking Bad Is it?

Incoming lateral associate at MM. Was supposed to join tech, and due to headcount cuts, replacing into another group. That group has yet to be decided, and HR asked me to network across a few different teams. When I tell you fellow associates and especially analysts are holding their tongue right now as to how bad things are, I mean it. You would think I'm asking to date their mother based on how "tip toe" they act when it comes to hiring. Yes, I know deal flow is down. Yes, there has been headcount reductions. But maybe help facilitate this process fellow associates? Jesus christ. The bank isn't going under. Is your deal flow down 400% YoY? Did your VP zero your bonus and now you're afraid to stand within 20 feet of his desk without a construction hat on? Either the market is truly drowning in an oil well or these analysts/associates can't facilitate the most basic hiring process of all time. Fuck me. 

19 Comments
 

Lol no one wants to take another junior banker into their group when they themselves are worried about getting layed off because they aren't busy. Your HR basically dicked you BIG LEAGUE. 

 

I totally get it. It feels like singing happy birthday to a funeral home. Not bueno. 

 

Yeah, tough draw. I'm sure HR knew they were screwing you to but made it sound like a great opportunity and that everyone would be super receptive to taking on a new Associate in a down market lol. Classic HR nonsense. Good luck, I'm sure you'll find a good fit in due time.  

 

No it's just a fucking hell of a time for staffers to be reaching out to HR asking to add a body in the middle of layoffs. Most groups are scared/don't want that target on their back. I'm going to place but it's going to be a cold war style placement. Just need somebody who can shiver in the cold for me. 

 

Surprising in the MM considering they’re the ones who are seeing really any deal flow right now. Is this one of the bigger MM firms? 
 

Although it absolutely happens and has happened in recent memory, layoffs at MM aren’t as common of a practice like they are at BB considering headcount is usually much lower and they are less selective of deal size

 

I wish people realized we're at the tipping point... January typically opens the flood gates of layoffs. The dominos are starting to fall... while the MM has been more resilient over the last ~6mo, even the MM is seeing a material slowdown in deal flow (debt side POV).

Shit is about to get ugly.  Pandemic related demand pull-forward, stimulus just about fully worn off (including extra savings due to such - and no, it wasn't just the stimmy checks), and low interest rates pushed asset levels to points only sustainable with 0% rates... (and dumbass companies like Amazon and everyone else thinking this was the new normal).

 

Echoing this. When I get on the phone to network, I always ask about deal flow, mandates, and pipeline. Traditionally, folks would talk for a good 5-9 minutes about the deal they got to do, what was next, and there was always a blanket of pride covering these marks. Now? It's a lot of umms, uhhhs, and repeated words. Not the time to hate this job or show cracks in the armor. 

 

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