Post Recruitment Depression

Hey Everyone,

I don't mean to create a pity post, but I guess I wanted to get insight on how I could cope with how my recruitment process played out. And, in all honesty, it actually went pretty well for me, but I still feel a sense of sadness because of how I lost the "big fish" I guess. Here's what happened:

I had been recruiting for IB for a bit and was invited in to a Morgan Stanley superday. This was honestly the only big IB opportunity I was able to get, I couldn't blow it. I worked really hard, tirelessly through the days leading up to the superday to get myself into tip top shape. And, when the day came, I crushed it. I had done my three rounds and was feeling great. Half an hour later I get a call from an unknown number, and I'm told that I have two additional interviews with MDs of the group I was recruiting for. I was dumbfounded, never heard of a superday to a superday before. I was admittedly nervous but was still ready to give it my all. First interview comes up, and the guy I'm speaking to I can barely hear him. He's driving home from work, not really as focused on what's going on/if our communication is stable. That interview lasted 20 mins. Shit. Then the second call rolls around, this guy and I we hit it off alright. I gave my take on the industry he operates in, and though he corrected some of the ideas I had, we still had good bonding moments. Of course, my initial superday interviews were better, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. So days go by, and I hear no response. Eventually, two weeks down the road I get the generic rejection email from MS and my stomach dropped, it was the end of the line for me to reach the proverbial greatness that I sought after.

As recruitment unfolded, I eventually got a quant role at a pretty reputable firm. But once again, IB at MS was something I held on another level completely, which I admit could be due to the fascination of my peers about such a role. But I was so close, I could taste it. And to be dinged was disheartening, especially when I couldn't really talk with the first MD. I should be happy, I have a really good role in my hands, but my dream role was literally on the top of my fingertips. I've fallen into a rabbit hole of self-blame, and I can't help myself from thinking if I just tweaked myself a teeny tiny bit I would be where I want to be. That junior year internship, at least from the school I'm from, essentially lays the foundation for career trajectory for the coming years, and I think that's where a lot of sadness lies. Keep in mind the MS Superday was literally months ago, yet today I still felt this nagging in the back of my mind that I should have gotten that offer. 

So, I would love to hear from you all on your thoughts on my thoughts I guess haha. Given your experiences, how should I go about thinking about what had transpired?