Credit Suisse Decline is Paradise

You finally made it. You've finally found a clean toilet by the CS restroom to rest your tush on, when you suddenly hear the door bang open and an angry voice following it. You immediately recognize it to be one of the MDs from M&A and boy is he pissed! The footsteps get closer, there's a loud clang as a nearby stall is flung open, and you heard a distinct grunt as the man lowers himself onto the can. In between farts, you could hear him screaming about never having seen such utter incompetence in his life and his expectation of punctuality, 'especially during times like these.' The dude is shitting like crazy at this point, "RATATATAT" noises are practically echoing off the walls and he's still raging away. "When I say 9am I mean 9am, not 9:15am, not 9:05am!" He's thundering at this poor analyst and quite frankly, you're feeling damn uncomfortable. Shaking your head ruefully, you stuff a wad of toilet paper into your ass and silently creep out of the stall without flushing. Who cares if you left behind a mess, you think to yourself. True, you'll never make it to PJT RSSG, but Wells Fargo poached ½ the CS acquisition finance team and has another spot just waiting for you. Recession is paradise.