Silencing The Demons

AN1 doing coverage. Dreamt of this job from the first day my freshman year, and I knew what I was signing up for when I got into this business. What's been rattling around in my kitchen is the loneliness part. Sure I'm close with the other analysts, but not folks I'd call up to truly chill out. Most of my friends didn't push hard to get into IB/consulting or really any other "hard" finance job. Over the past few years, trying to separate myself and try to even break into the industry just broke a lot of friendships. Most of my friends are just content with whatever they have. Idk why I've just found myself to be somewhere between hating myself and being lonely. Maybe it's just trying to generate a bodily response other than being focused for endless hours of the day, but I'm starting to feel like Truman. Everyday is a day moving closer to money and success and feels further and further from anything worth having. It's like I'm just waiting on time to pass. If anyone has tips to fight loneliness and a general what the fuck is it all for plague, I'd appreciate it. Thanks boys. 

Comments (20)

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen

I feel like this as well. It comes in waves. Sometimes you think you're doing ok and next thing you know you're back in that dark place. I hope finding a partner will cure my loneliness because I can't find contentment in my family.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov

amen. drive it fast sonny. 

  • Intern in IB-M&A

I have struggled with my own issues as well, but getting a partner will not solve any of your issues. If you are not content with yourself then you will not be content with someone else. Learn to be self-reliant and have the utmost respect for yourself and then go from there. I recommend working out, practicing your faith, and improving yourself in all aspects of your life!

Most Helpful
bluecollarfinanceguy, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If your friendships have been severed because of your career choices those people aren't your real friends

I have a group of 15-20 friends I grew up with. I moved away to pursue banking and the ear of my friends (for the most part) still love back home doing whatever they pursued

These guys still hang out weekend, while o generally only make it back home 2 or 3 times a year

Nothing has changed and we always pick up where we left off

If you are looking for friendship / companionship while you are in the trenches / the day to day I suggest you look toward specific interest groups of things your interested in. Can be anything to ultimate frisbee to video games to anime to working out (literally anything your interested in) to bridge the gap

Chances are, wherever you are, there are people who have similar interests as you, you

Just have to find them and not be ashamed of utilizing non traditional methods (such as an online meetup group or whatever)

Other suggestion is to get a GF

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov

appreciate you giving insight. my VP told me to get a GF before starting. should have listened to his advice 

bluecollarfinanceguy, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Other thing I'll say is that as a fellow guy who is probably older than you (29), you'll eventually come to realize that the world has no sympathy for you and does not feel sorry for you.

You're going to have to go through shit and just figure it out. And that's okay.

If you were a girl you'd probably have 100+ simps lining up to comfort you / listen to you.

Not the case if you're a guy. No one really cares. Just the way it is.


maplesyrup334, what's your opinion? Comment below:

That's how we become men though - trauma and hardship and the lessons we learned along the way. 

  • 1
hansen20, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Guys should be there for their guy friends just like women are there for their girlfriends. I get the frustration with "simps" but the grass isn't greener and they don't provide real emotional support or mitigate female depression at all - they're just looking to get laid

What we're missing is community, but it has to be built

Scyther_, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Grass is always greener man. I'm sure some of your friends that didn't land prestigious jobs are probably feeling down and depressed about not being in your shoes. Just try your best to be content/grateful for what you have, I know it's easier said than done sometimes but you've worked hard and have a lot to be proud of.

  • Analyst 2 in IB - Cov

I feel like this but I am literally in college. Sophomore and recruiting for IB rn. Have friends from finance programs and investment clubs, but no one I can really hang out with other than 1 - 2 people. 

Most friends back home are bums and don't even go to school or work. Anytime I hang out with them I feel left out and not in my place. While they talk about how they hate their parents because they ask "too much" from them, I am looking at the fucking wall. You sit on your ass all day doing nothing, but you cannot wash the dishes for your mom that just got home from work?

I think the best thing to do is to find a place that is easier to make friends. For example - go to the gym and ask someone to spot you on bench and strike up a convo, go golfing by yourself on a Saturday morning and you will probably be paired with 2-3 randoms. It is little things like this that make time more enjoyable.

I know most bankers will absolutely rip me a new one for complaining about this in college, so bombs away.  

  • 3
  • Analyst 1 in IB - CB

Omg thank god I'm not the only one…

I'm surrounded by people all the time but still feel incredibly lonely

My family is not even in the country …

aojdaoiwjdwa, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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