Step By Step Guide to Starting The Ultimate Most Prestige-Laden EB

1. Have no LinkedIn/online/market presence (think M Klein secrecy - very prestigious)

2. Exclusively work on giga-cap deals ($100bn+ - think Saudi Aramco IPO - ultra prestigious, the rest of the BBs/EBs can work on your leftovers that you deem too small)

3. Restrict employees from disclosing they work here on LinkedIn or to friends/family (think M Klein secret - uber prestigious)

4. Randomize employee emails so prospects can't attempt to coffee chat/network with them (think CVP's no cold emailing policy - highly prestigious)

5. Only take laterals from Tiger Global/RenTech (everyone will think they upgrade to your firm - stupendously prestigious)

6. Only recruit SA classes from top clubs at top targets (think PEVC/WITG/WUFC/GPS at W, GPS/Black Diamond at H, very very selective and prestigious)

7. Do 15 rounds of interviews for SA (think Qatalyst's recruiting process, enormously prestigious)

8. Hard GPA cutoff of 3.99 (extremely prestigious)

9. Only take 6'3+ old money prestigious kids from Exeter/Andover/Deerfield/Eton/Westminster/Le Rosey (extremely prestigious, also likely to bolster deal flow)

10. Only take 2-3 SA per cycle (very prestigious and selective)

11. Keep the company private and never IPO for sky-high comp/economics (think Qatalyst/Dyal & Co comp levels, highly prestigious)

12. Never expand beyond a headcount of 30-40 (super selective and secretive, highly prestigious)

13. Only have an office in Greenwich, St Tropez, Mayfair etc (very prestigious locations without commoners)

14. Tell SA classes to post their salaries on Glassdoor, Fishbowl and WSO to reflect the beyond top of street comp (think FTP 140k base word of mouth style grapevine)

15. Perks including free helicopter rides to and from the office, full catering from Michelin star restaurants, first class flights if under 2 hours, on the corporate private jet if over 2 hours, fully paid SoHo House & Equinox memberships (tremendously prestigious)

How much would you all like to work here? 

2 Comments
 

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