Structured Finance Desk Cover Letter

I'm about to send this cover letter into GS Chicago do you think it will get circled among banks?

Dear Hiring Manager:

Please interview me. Why?

I can stay up and burn the midnight oil. Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up. Realistic about what tasks i'll be doing. I know the MD is always right. I can sit in front of computer screen for 18 hours a day. I aspire to master excel. I know about the financial crisis.

I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion. I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping! I can pull the the all-nighters. I can work 90 plus hours a week. I desire to learn from the best in finance. I know not to wear white collars. I know not to wear cuffs. I do not aspire to be Gordon Gekko. I am too smart to believe Shia Labeouf turned $20,000 into $300,000. I aspire to be that non target kid. My favorite movie is not Wall Street. I think bankers do God's work. I already have a Black Berry. I can kiss ass. I can take take teasing. I can explain credit default swaps. I can explain synthetic default swaps. I can explain options.

Finally, I can write a cover letter in exactly 300 words.

Send y/n?

6 Comments
 

So that's your take on the "I've done all these things, but I haven't gone to college yet..." essay we all read in high school.

Interesting.

 
Best Response

Like I said in my PM, you mentioned:

1) "Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up" (like a woman should) 2) "I know the MD is always right." ("Managing Director" is my bondage roleplay name) 3) "I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion." (PMS-free... since 1993!) 4) "I can pull the the all-nighters." (hint hint) 5) "I think bankers do God's work." (you clearly admire me to a degree of stage-5 obsession.) 6) "I can work 90 plus hours a week." (not a gold digger. +15 pts) 7) "I can explain credit default swaps." (intelligent too... + 30 pts) 8) "I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping!" (i love sexting till dawn) 9) "I can take take teasing." (I'll bet! ;) )

sounds like the perfect wife to me. are you hot? :D (i know you're a guy..but, work with me here)

 

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