Unemployed for 1 year and going to kill myself bye
Don’t know why I’m writing this maybe deep down in my guts I’m too scared to do it. I would definitely be happier dead at this point.
Did BB IB right out of undergrad and did almost four years before being laid off. Haven’t been able to find any job since despite many interviews. I’m not targeting PE or another IB shop just any corporate role I can get.
I sacrificed way to much when I was younger just break into a “target” school and then the job later on. So have no friends or positive experiences to look back on. My savings are in a rough spot because 1) I’ve spent now a year worth of living expenses with no income 2) more importantly I made bad investment choices a few weeks ago because I was so frustrated and thought I could make some money to make up for the lost time and instead lost almost all I had so now have no choice but to just take any job I can get anywhere even at a grocery store or fast food.
I don’t think I’m too prideful or something to work such a job, but I would candidly just rather kill myself at this point and be done with it. If I knew this is how life would turn out, I would have never worked so hard and just tried to enjoy being young.
Do more experiences and enjoy high school and college. Now I look back with regret and can’t go back to do the things I wanted to do. My fault for thinking a good career was a substitute for such experiences. It’s also my fault for being so shit at the job apparently where I’m laid off and unhirable. I take responsibility. All of this happened because of my choices. It’s me so I’ll just kill myself and be done with it then. Everyone wants to talk having agency ok fine it’s my fault for following this path. This is my last note to the world bye.
have compassion tf
Typical PE associate here. Disgusting.
Am a student so have no useful advice to give, but imo there’s always something to look forward to. Things definitely suck rn but who knows, maybe the next day you get lucky and something good happens. Maybe you meet a girl or a friend, maybe u get a lucky break for a job, maybe u find the peace to enjoy the little things. NPV is based on the future not the past! Think about the times you suffered in the past and how things ended up being ok after. Shit works out and in the bad times ya gotta grasp on them strings of hope. Sorry you’re going through this and gl.
Please enjoy your college experience and your youth. Focus on relationships, family, friends and having fun. Delayed gratification means nothing. Money is very important obviously but it’s not guaranteed you will keep it. Your job, savings, and titles can disappear in a moments notice. I would do anything today to go back in time. Not saying I’m a person worthy of passing any wisdom, but that’s my final words I’d like to leave the world with.
Hey man - sorry to hear what you're going through. You're not alone trust me. Don't give up the fight, it sounds like you have a great background and experience that many employers look for. The skills you learned and experience you've gained does not disappear after a year. What do you think is the root cause (i.e., resume isn't polished, too high of expectations, unwilling to relocate)? What have you done / could be done to significantly reduce your expenses (e.g., move in with friends/family, stop eating out, etc.)?
The job market hasn't been great over the past few years and there are many people that have been unemployed for an extended period of time. The market will turn and 2025 should be a good year from an economic standpoint. Hang in there, it always works out in the end.
I don’t feel my background or experiences are valued at all and saying it’s all due to a weak market seems like an excuse for myself. I’m just clearly shit. And I’ve been willing to take any geography.
As for living expenses, I don’t have a choice. I’m useless and alone. Life would be much better if I had just slacked off when I was younger and focused on relationships and ended up in a normal corporate job. My networth would be clearly far higher than it is today. It’s ok. Everyone on here tells all the prospects banking will change their life for the better. I’m clearly just the outlier who should end their life it seems.
It's funny because the market has been awful for 2.5 years now but the news is just now saying it will be harder to find roles moving forward.
Sounds like you just need someone to talk to man.
Hey man.
Let me start by saying the obligatory suicide is not the answer, please do not do this and that it will not help anything and only cause tremendous pain to others. I know you know that, and I know you have heard that, but I also know that this is probably not going to be helpful or change anything, but needs to be said.
Next, many many many people who have made lots of money have been exactly where you are. I most certainly do not consider myself successful, but I do recall feeling some broad strokes of similarity to what you are feeling now last year. Let me tell you-- I too cranked throughout high school to get to a top college, and then go to BB IB/ MBB, and then cranked endlessly to try and get into PE. Ignore title, but surprise surprise, I did not make the cut. I get the pain. To really want something, and not get there. To make the sacrifices, do what everyone tells you growing up is the "right" formula that will result in you becoming endlessly successful, only for you to execute it and feel like you've failed miserably. To then look around in these times, and have no one to talk to about this. It is dark.
I do not know how much Shakespeare you have heard, but life is really like Hamlet's wheel of fortuna sometimes; it is only after our lowest points that we reach the highest highs.
The truth is man, I presume you are in your twenties or early thirties at the oldest. You have your whole life in front of you. It is up to YOU how you want to live your life, what are your values, and what kind of person you want to be. If you have realized that you truly regret not prioritizing social experiences in of itself (versus looking at it in terms of a grass is always greener view), ok great! This is good learning. Go live with some roommates, take a lower paying job, join some clubs, go out to bars, work on your social skills, and you can get there.
What if you are just feeling this way about the social stuff because the career is not where you want it to be right now? Ok also good learning. Hunker down with networking. Never stop fighting. Upskill yourself, get an MBA if you need. Start a business (acknowledging this might be harder with your funds right now).
The point I am trying to make here is you have plenty of time to continue pushing your life in the direction you want. And, I might add, I think it is also incredibly valuable that you are learning this about yourself now as opposed to in your 60s or 70s. Imagine sitting on your death bed and thinking "man I wish I pushed harder in my career" or "man I wish I had prioritized my relationships more" .
The truth is, which is sometimes hard to realize when you spend too much time on these sites, IB is really fucking hard. The fact that you survived there for so long and even got a job there shows that you are a fighter. It is also hard to realize this sometimes, but if tomorrow you get that sexy job, it is not like your value somehow magically will transform tomorrow. You are still competent. You still have value.
I do truly believe that it is our hardest times that builds the most character. It is what shapes us to be resilient and tenacious. It pushes us to really realize what we value the most and ensure that we focus there. For me, FWIW, no I have not still gotten into PE. I will say, I did not realize when I was in that dark place that I would get another swing at the bat. Since then, I have gotten more interviews at places that are arguably better (or at least equivalent) to where I got rejected. And, the time that I have not spent in private equity has given me the space to explore WHAT i value and WHY, while also doing some more of the social stuff.
All of this is to say man, there is a lot more of your journey left to define. You have SO much potential. The real question is how the fuck are you going to use the potential that you have?
U aren’t alike brother. Keep fighting. Honestly what you need now is another goal to focus on. Put the career to the side for the time being. Maybe give MBA a shot? Could be the move
Alone****
I would have to finance the whole cost of the MBA and take on debt. Maybe if there was a free option. At this point, if I want to take on debt I rather just go travel and try to get back some of the time and experiences I lost and be carefree. I missed out on having the fun experiences that everyone else my age is now over with. People want to settle down now that they had their fun. I gave it all up and have nothing to show for it. I didn’t get a chance to travel in IB despite finally having money due to PTO policies. Now I have the time but no money for it. I should have did it right after being laid off at least but I panicked.
But hey, they were many many people who grinded to a target school and then IB who were able to still have fun. I’m clearly less capable and useless than everyone else hence my apprehension to continue even living.
You’re basically describing full time MBA by the way! But seriously man suicide is not the answer and I would highly recommend reaching out to a friend, family member, etc.
Also, not at all to jest but it’s a Trump presidency, any sort of corp fin experience has got to be about to be in higher demand! Or join the peace corps and make up on some of the adventures, or the French Foreign Legion if you really want an adventure!
Feel free to DM if you want to set up a call - I’ve been there homie I lost a job right at the beginning of 23, took a significant (like 50% pay) pay cut, but it moved me to a new city I’m much happier in, and slowly has scaled up into an even better situation, and not slowly over a decade like a couple years .
Turning on push notifications!
ONE. LOVE
You're valued. You made it to a target school, you're clearly competent. I'm at the position of grinding towards a getting into target school, and somewhat know how the process is. There are literally so many opportunities out there, you probably know more than I do.
After all, Please don't do something you can't undo. No matter who says what, or how religious you're, we're not certain whether an afterlife exists, or reincarnation is real. What we know, is you get one shot, as the person you are.
Love ❤️
i understand, and i know how you feel because i have been there.
i grew up quite poor, with scarce resources and opportunity - with most of my childhood and high school friends either going down a dark road in life or dead, unloved, and forgotten.
after grinding for many years in awful public schools, i was very fortunate that a target school (NOT my first choice, but still a great college) took a chance on me and gave a full ride, where an alum from a similar upbringing was generous enough to hook me up with an lmm pe buyside gig sophomore year and help me land an eb ibd gig junior year in a top group.
i will admit that i was definitely not ready for the eb my junior year, was likely the worst intern in the firm's history (probably still am), and, not surprisingly, i did not get a return offer, in addition to graduating into 08, with no job and my family unable to take care of me.
i was jobless for more than a year, working a series of odd jobs, from call center to tutoring, and wandered across multiple LCOL cities, before an lmm ibd took a chance on me.
the lmm ibd i worked at was a complete no-name in a lower tier city and management was both hostile and toxic. the founder was notorious in his industry for being hard to work with, and i worked on so many materials of deals that never came to be. coming from my internship experiences, target school, and dysfunctional upbringing, i felt like i was flying so high up in the sky and then fell down to earth to work with a bunch of miserable peasants. regardless, i put my head down, did my part not to rock the boat and do exactly what they told me without question, which allowed me to go unnoticed, before, after a long and grueling process of multiple months, i was offered a better spot with an eb lateral position.
oh, and i still do have nightmares about the lmm ibd shop.
from the eb, i made it to mf pe, and then to a sm hf.
while the eb, mf pe, and sm hf were all worlds apart better than the lmm ibd, all of them shared the common factors of grueling levels of work, toxic and hostile co-workers and managers, as well as failed deals.
in retrospect, my experiences allowed me to develop myself to the point where i was able to succeed at better firms, while also balancing that with providing for my family and enjoying all the little things in life.
above all else, i was very fortunate to have experienced failure while i was a junior in college and as a fresh graduate in 08 because it made me understand the industry and office politics better.
hear me out: it is SO MUCH BETTER to fail early on than later, especially down the road when you have a family and people who depend on you.
yes, my post-grad year working odd jobs while continuing to interview was mentally exhausting and soul crushing, but it was also a fun adventure and im glad i did it.
bottom line, i am beyond grateful to the universe get back into a career that has been the greatest learning experience for me and one that allowed me to break the cycle of intergenerational poverty that has run deep in my family for so long.
im also very fortunate that my kids will never have to experience the struggle that i grew up with.
there is no success without failure, so my advice is to NEVER GIVE UP!!!
invest in all sorts of modeling courses, read lots and lots of books, network aggressively, delay your gratifications, and take a refreshing nap or relaxing nature walk when the tough times get too suffocating to breathe, but NEVER GIVE UP!!! because your future self will thank you for it.
play the long game and do things today that your future self will thank you for, always.
Hey man can I DM you or ask you to shoot me one? I’m kind of in same boat as OP except me leaving my first job (GS S&t) was by choice for another opportunity that turned out to be a terrible decision and somehow now I am unemployable everywhere. Plan was always to make it to a HF which many of my peers from my old job did. Would love to chat on advice on how to get on the right track here i graduated in 2021, good school. GS for 2 years before trying to start a company that was being funded by a family office (lot of promises were made none were followed thru with now im stuck with no job and probably will not make it back to GS.
I needed to hear this. I am in the same boat; eight months since graduation, working odd things and still trying to break into banking. I have been fortunate that I have had a few interviews with sheer luck, persistence, and networking, but every time I don't hear back or get passed over for it, it feels like a gut punch, and I question what I am doing and if I should just move on and settle for literally anything I can find and give up the IB dream. But it's nice to hear your story.
if you give up, then you should not even be in this industry to begin with.
wall street is a sharp elbowed place and you will get hit in the face many times whether you like it or not.
at this stage of your career, you are looking to build your skills and the beginning is always the hardest.
im sure youve seen enough wso posts about how bad upward mobility is nowadays and i can confirm, but as you build yourself up, you will find other ways to move up or even better opportunities.
i once felt the way you do now.
but once i got my lmm ibd job, the economy began to improve, and i was getting interviews for eb/bb lateral positions, and once i got my eb, i got lots of pe + hf interviews, and the rest is history.
bottom line, it all worked out in the end because i got my career back during a time when the damage of 08 was improving, and i have many peers who got eb/bb ibd roles in 08 who had a rougher time with pe + hf recruiting despite having top target + eb/bb backgrounds.
when i graduated, i envied my eb/bb ibd peers so much (they were dating, living in nyc, and making good money, while i was working at a miserable call center), but when i got my career back, i did much better than most of them, all because of the timing of an improving economy.
i would not change a thing about graduating jobless in 08 at all and it made me both a better person and investor - scarcity is a much better catalyst for good business and life decisions than abundance is.
you never know how things can turn around, and if they will at the right time.
keep pushing and never ever give up!
good luck and i know you will get back on your feet soon!
del
hang in there man. things will get better. have hope
Do not kill your self man!! Have you tried reaching out to Tech Unicorn founders or their leadership team?
Nothing is worth your life.
You have your health, your family, etc. Money does not define you.
Just calm down, reset your mentality and keep looking.
That's all we can do.
Hey dude, know things are rough rn but I personally care about you. Been through a lot of rough stuff (personally been to psych ward + rehab in high school) and I’m telling you it will break my heart if you hurt yourself. There is so much more to life than “high finance”. Plz play a video game u enjoy or go out in the wilderness and remember that this crazy life is worth living. Love you + i believe u will get through this
Real
Hey man, please don’t give up. Your life is worth way more than any job. There will always be a way forward and a path to find success and happiness if you just keep going and stay positive.
Was in a similar situation to yourself when I was let go from a MF in 2023 and was unemployed for almost a year, so I can empathise with your sentiment. You just have to keep your head up and pushing and at some point something will come your way. It may not be what you want at that immediate point in time but it will be what you need.
20 years old talking like he's 60 hahah
get the out there in the world. Leave your house. Leave LinkedIn. Leave WSO. Talk with random people on social places and try to get to know them. Go and enroll in a theater club. Enroll in some sport classes.
What's the need to be so suicidal due to a self-imposed perception on what makes you worthy as a human being or not. You still have 50-80 years old more ahead of you and in 1 year you can do more than other people in 5 years. There's no such thing as "I wasted my best years". Being contrarian, which is what you did, is maybe the most important thing you developed in those past years by not doing what others did and focusing on your goals.
Regrets are good because it helps to put as into perspective what we value. Now that you understand it. Go out there and do what you value and will make you the happiest. No career is linear. Eventually, you'll get where you belong. Good luck
First and foremost, it’s heartbreaking to read this, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. Even though you might feel like you’re at the end of your rope, this is not the end of your story. You’ve accomplished so much, even in the face of incredible adversity, and though it may not feel like it now, there is a way forward.
I’ve been through some tough times myself not the same, of course, because no one’s struggles are identical, but I’ve felt the weight of regret, loss, and hopelessness. I’ve also had moments where I questioned everything I’d worked so hard for and felt like I’d made irreparable mistakes. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that these low points don’t define us. They’re chapters not the whole book.
It’s not fair how much weight society puts on us to “succeed” in certain ways, and it sounds like you’ve carried that burden more than most. Sacrificing your youth, pouring your energy into a career, only to feel empty when it didn’t pan out it’s crushing. But that doesn’t mean your life is over or that you’ve failed. Your worth isn’t defined by one job or one bad investment. You’re more than your career, your savings, or even the choices you’ve made. You’re human, and being human means you can start over, even when it feels impossible.
You’ve proven you’re capable of extraordinary effort. You broke into IB, a field so many people can only dream of. That’s not “failure,” that’s grit. Maybe it’s time to take that drive and turn it toward building a life that’s less about career metrics and more about what makes you feel whole—whether that’s friendships, new experiences, or just allowing yourself some grace.
Please, take a deep breath and pause before doing anything drastic. Talk to someone a friend, family member, therapist, or even a stranger on a hotline. Sometimes just saying these things out loud can lighten the burden, even just a little.
And if you want to share your story, I’d love to listen. It helps, I promise. You’re not alone in this, and there’s so much more waiting for you on the other side of this pain. Even when it feels dark, there’s light ahead. You’re stronger than you think. Stay with us, because your story isn’t over yet.
Hey brother, I believe in you. Life can feel overwhelming, but there’s so much more to it than the pressure you’re facing right now. Take a moment for yourself and try to do something you enjoy or find peace in the little things. You’re stronger than you realize n I truly believe you’ll get through this.
In terms of the job situation, if you’re stressed about money and need something to pay the bills and don’t care what it is, I strongly recommend pursuing a business development/tech sales role. You have great experience and a great academic background, I can name 10 startups rn who would take you in an instant. You can easily make 6 figs with a decent WLB. Also the social element of the job, especially if it’s with a smaller team who you vibe with, is helpful in achieving that camaraderie you’re looking for.
Love u man you can do it
Sounds like you're 27 from the description.
Imagine a person who is 50 and has it all. Billionaire, respected, fun life, chicks, lambo, great family, whatever you imagine would come with having the best life imaginable.
He'd give up all of it to be 27 again. You are so much younger than you realize. You're talking about the importance of having fun in your youth so you don't miss out, but you're still in like the 2nd inning of what you'll eventually consider to be the glory days of your youth.
Take whatever job is there, you'll work your way back soon enough and have a great story to tell.
This. Don’t regret all of that hard work you put in to getting yourself where you are. Tons of students would kill to have the resume you have. Yes, this is a tough spot to be in; but take it from someone who’s been there that it’s always darkest just before the sun comes up. There’s a new administration in office - deregulation will lead to increased deal-flow, and lower taxes will mean more money in your pocket. Life is about controlling what’s controllable to the best of your ability and responding to obstacles in kind. It’s situations like this that truly show us who we are, use it as an opportunity to show yourself, and the world, what you are worth. I believe in you, you’ve got this.
Hey man,
Wait. You are not alone. And by the way: "owning it" -as you mention- is not killing yourself. It is taking the steps to regain control of your life.
You are valuable, and you can be more. Go out, explore, talk to people, offer your help. Sounds like you need help, get it. Counterintuitively, offer yours as well.
Keep fighting, one day at a time. Keep pushing evrey day some seeds into the soil...soon you'll be harvesting from the least expected places.
Take care of yourself. You are going through a rough patch, no doubt. But hey, it is a patch, so make sure you go either off road or with double effort!
Fight like a champ, you are able and you'll triumph. Keep us posted please
You’re not alone man. I lost my first job like right after we started and it was pretty demoralizing. Felt like I was getting kicked out of the industry before I even started. Two years ago today I was interviewing at ten companies with zero offers. A month later I had one offer in hand and was close on a few others. You never know if next week it all turns around. The job that I ultimately accepted was better than anything I could have imagined getting out of undergrad. We believe in you. I would guess your current depression might be bleeding into your tone in interviews? See if you can take a full week away from the job search to reset and then get back to it. Could be just what you need to crush the next interviews. You got it man.
We are defeated only in death.
Seconding this - I have some similar stories.
This is more so general advice for anyone reading this - you have to find a way to not tie your mental health and self worth to your accomplishments. Obviously situations like OP's are going to impact someone's mental health in one way or another, but it shouldn't make you feel like this. Finance is a tough field full of high achievers and when your job takes up so much of your life, it's easy to let it take everything over, but you can't live like that. Why? Because you're going to keep facing challenges and obstacles. You got a job, ok great. But what about when you mess up? Or a massive deal falls through? Or you don't make partner? You get divorced? Shit is going to be keep coming up and you have to find healthy ways to move forward. It might be through reflection, it might be through therapy, or talking to a friend.
If you're feeling this down, it's indicative of a deeper issue, and that's nothing to be ashamed of, but you really should seek help. I've been there and so have countless others.
It's hard to think clearly when you're down in the trenches but please try to take a step back. I guarantee if you look up 10 successful people, most if not all of them have faced major set backs or rejection at some point. I know it feels like the end of the world, but it's not and it shouldn't be. This is just a job at the end of the day and there's a hell of a lot cooler jobs outside of finance. You'll get your shot, dude. Keep your head up and call someone.
I've been unemployed for a full year myself (January 2024 lost my job). Same background as you (4 years of IB) and am still struggling to land an offer despite multiple interview processes. I have 6-figures in debt. I have additional 2 years of non-core IB experience on top of that. Hang in there you are not alone.
Dude go move to Thailand or South America, work in a coffee shop, be happy. Fuck this job, it's brainless and miserable. If you have $20,000+ saved up and you're an educated person, you can live an amazing life. Fuck finance and prestige and all that. Choose happiness. These stupid finance jobs are not the answer.
Or a hostel, that's what I'm thinking of doing. Life is good there.
sorry to hear you're going thru this. This is terrible.
Book a flight to Columbia and "snort it from the source" while enjoying some cardio with a few Latina baddies calling you papacito. Once you're back in a good state of mind pick up the good fight again and you'll be looking back pleased you never gave up in no time.
“Colombia”
Can you move back with your parents and pursue a different career? I left equity research to become an airline pilot. Best decision I ever made
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
You will find a way out. You will find happiness. Just hang in there. Go for a walk. Talk to someone. You have a lot of wisdom from your experiences and can forge a completely different path.
been in a similar situation since september (laid off from middle market growth shop after ~2 years of FT experience, 3 LMM PE internships), also was and am still actively dealing with negative thoughts. best advice i can give you is to not quit. It took me a ton of interviews to gain any traction, but finally received a remote offer at a microcap PE fund...nothing glamorous but can do it while I get to my ideal goals which might happen sooner than expected due to me continuing to network. This was after >1500 applications and not seeing the end of the tunnel. My best advice is get to a good friend or family if possible and hit the ground running to find a job. If you have a car uber drive / postmates while you listen to materials helping you stay fresh. and even if stuff doesn't work out remember this shit isn't everything man and definitely not happiness. My whole perspective on success changed when my former GP who also founded and exited a unicorn business earlier in his career gave me the advice to enjoy life and not rush to achieve some linear path. His advice was based on his own happiness (or lack thereof) after achieving what many would call "the ideal path." Enjoy the journey and consider further studies as well (I'd recommend atleast spending some time on GMAT or LSAT prep if those seem attractive). I'm here to talk to and more than happy to help you strategize / share what has been best for me.
Recently, I've been reading the 'The Road Less Traveled' by Scott Peck which I both recommend and will quote to you. "Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure of life." We can do this and screw anyone who says we can't.
Hello whydidthishappen,
I was unemployed in 2023 so I could totally understand what you have been going through. My immediate advice for you: DO NOT GO TO THE DARK SIDE. You have to bet for yourself. I have to give yourself love. Think about tomorrow, which is always getting better.
What helped me when I was unemployed was having an open mindset in terms of role I was looking for. Yes, I was desperate to the point that I was willing to take a sales job at a local manufacturing company, and of course, I did not get the job: I have NO sales skill. My strategy was setting up LinkedIn notifications on a daily basis on jobs that have the titles relevant to my working experiences and my skills. I checked my cell phone and the LinkedIn app every hour, then took a walk, and then checked my phone again. I went through so many interviews at various roles that I could not even count. Remember: your full-time job when being unemployed is to FIND A JOB. I sat at my desk every day for 4 hours, looking for job, find courses to learn to improve myself, brushing upon my interview preparations, etc.
In the meantime, I did the below to help me surive:
Tips for Interviewing:
I am truly rooting for you. I wish you all the best with your interview processes if you are in any and I am sure you will land something. Be positive. Love yourself because if you don't, nobody else does!
Please say something by replying to this post so we know you are safe and still working through it.
everytime i see this title i get triggered
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