Would you prefer to date someone who is also high income or chill job/ becomes stay at home mom type?
Given the tough hours of IB, would you prefer to date someone who is also high income or someone who becomes a stay at home mom, and why?
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Date or marry? If it's just dating, I can be flexible, but if it's with a view towards marriage, then 100% I would want a woman who is also in a high income job.
Who will take care and raise the kids? Nannies and boarding school?
There is an in between, everyone talks like the only options are a stay at home parent or never seeing your child and having someone else raise them. In the early years you just have to make time, and with a lot of work from home it is much easier. Additionally, children go to bed early so you can always finish up work at night. Once they are in school they are out from 9-4 anyway. You can raise your child and have a job, especially if you can afford additional help.
You want to marry a ball-buster?
Don’t you get enough of that at work?
Interesting. I would gravitate more towards a woman I think would be a great stay at home mom rather than someone who maximizes our dual income.
I was raised by a single mom that wished she could stay at home, so that might play into my bias. Maybe I still hold onto old school ideals
I used be someone who would look to date someone who wanted to stay at home / have a chill job but after dating someone like that I would now rather date someone with a high income.
I just feel that someone who’s not ambitious doesn’t really understand the why behind working the hours / sacrifices required in finance. Plus, I would kinda be insecure that they are with me for the money instead of because of who I am.
Currently dating someone who’s a nurse / applying to med school and has been a high achiever throughout college - the speciality she wants isn’t a surgeon so she won’t have the crazy hours but she’ll also earn high enough that she doesn’t need my income to support her.
No one is with you because of your IB analyst / associate salary lmao
IB analyst / associate salary puts you in top 1% of earners for your age. only on WSO people think $200-300k in your 20s is nothing. in real world majority of Americans are making less than $55k, and these are people with decades of experience.
My wife doesn't want to be a stay at home mom. She would be bored at home. And I agree.
Who cares. Date who you want to date but stop taking anonymous polls about it
This industry is so fucking autistic
I live in area where most educated women do not want to stay at home and be 100% defined by them raising of their kids. At the same time, most women do not want the 80 hour week job and I understand why. The best situation for a female is have job that is not super demanding because the reality is that she is going to take a disproportionate share of raising kids than the guy.
.
That’s pretty cool. Was she born in the wilderness and derived all her knowledge on her own? But, technically she had some assistance in her development in the womb, so maybe not entirely self made.
That's pretty impressive. What's her business?
Hot
piàoliang
Where’s the tone for liang 🤣
Wife is also a high earner and honestly it's great.
Stay at home. I would like my kids to be raised by their mother instead of a woman that we put on the payroll to do the job of their mother.
100% someone who works 50hrs< weekly. Ideally just working 40hrs a week doing a chill corporate job (40hrs a week) who can take off a few years for the kids.
I don't think most college educated women want to be stay at home moms permanently these days so not sure that's even a realistic option for most of us. In the absence of that, I think this is probably the middle ground in 2023
I certainly would not date someone working 60+hrs a week (corporate lawyer, banker, etc)
I agree with most of what you wrote. The college grad thing is even more pronounced when the woman goes beyond college. It does not make sense to spend that much time in school and then give it up. With your last line, you would be excluding women who are extra ambitious. I am sure some of these women reduce hours or get a nanny when they have a demanding job or may be work from home more often
Sure, some of those women might reduce their hours / get a nanny but from a probabilistic standpoint it's not as high -- i.e. some itself implies it's under half...not the best odds IMO. Other element is who's career gets prioritized? Lot of people I know saw their comp really take off when they moved to a big new city (NYC / LA / etc) vs where they used to be...that flexibility can be really important to crush it vs. do just pretty well. If you're both highly career oriented, those moves are FAR harder to make vs. if your wife is less career oriented then as a family unit there's more flex.
The last thing is, I'd prefer if my kids were raised by us vs. a nanny. Sometimes you do need a nanny, but a nanny isn't a replacement for a mother. Esp in those formative years. So while I'm not judging anyone on the nanny thing, I'd prefer my kids spent all their time with myself & my wife (and grandparents of course).
Obvioulsy these are all statements with a wide degree of flex. If I met an incredible girl who checks off all my boxes and works 60hrs a week, I probably wouldn't turn that down. But the bar is higher in that case
Probably the ideal is a SWE at FAANG. High-ish pay, equity upside and extremely flexible hours.
Mathematically the latter cuz obviously it has a <1 correlation with you so holding that asset gives a diversification benefit. Holding a woman that already does the same thing you do just jacks up disproportionate portfolio risk with diminished marginal utility of that extra income (assuming you already have a high-paying job as implied by the question)
Would you mind elaborating what this means in simpler terms?
I think having a spouse in a different field from finance makes sense though, like working in medicine or tech etc
Basically if you hold an asset that doesn't behave the same way as the asset you already hold, you get to diversify your risk. If you only sell ice cream, you make bank during hot days but get fucked if it rains because no one eats ice cream on a cold rainy day - but if you sell some ice cream and some umbrellas, you're calm if it's hot or cold.
I wrote this half ironically anyway lol, don't worry abt it
For me, someone who isn’t corporate. I don’t care that much about how ambitious. I’m dating someone in a typical “stay at home” job, she has no idea how much money I make, other than the fact that I’m in an intense job and went to an above average undergrad. I am young enough where I’m not making a ton, and she comes from a middle class family. IMO it’s nice to talk about something other than work at our dates, and not having to think about FAANG/MBB/BB/M7 all the time. I’d hate to be on a date saying "Let's leverage our synergies and strategize a blue-sky date at the park tomorrow. Do you have the capacity? I can help you clear some roadblocks you have to making that time work.”
Honestly it’s not about the money/being able to be the ‘man’ of the house or whatever. I’d date someone who is a doctor, but I am not interested getting into serious relationships with high strung corporate girls.
Also, ambition comes in many forms. Like someone who is ‘just a teacher’ can peruse certificates on the weekends. A musician practices all the time. You can be passionate about what you do, work very hard, but not grind out the hours of MBB/IB/PE.
I want to date a cute girl who is smart, or at the very least not completely retarded, but who knows how to be laid back and chill.
Finance grills tend to be even more autistic than finance bros, but I am too intimated to date my childhood love interest who is pursuing a PhD in quantum physics and whose idea of fun is reading Hegel or studying her Rachmaninov piano piece for six hours straight.
I met a guy in his early 30s who was working at a HF, but a bit earlier he married a woman who was about to enter med school at the time. He helped pay her tuition and supported her through the program, and once she become a doctor, they were a lot better off financially. He worked another few years into his late 30s then retired to be a stay at home dad, meanwhile his wife continued to support him throughout. It worked out well and she didn’t resent him given he helped her achieve her dream of being a doctor. Meanwhile he had made a good amount during his time at the HF
I also met someone who married a woman who opened a clothing store in Soho. Monthly rent was insanely high, she sent their kids to a fancy prep school and rented a lavish apartment in Tribeca. Her store took off and she was making tons of money. The guy ended up developing a weird gaming addiction and she ended up leaving him after he lost his job
Wow .. interesting contrast of experiences. I’m not sure what the takeaway was from these two couples but maybe banker doctor couple is the way to go. Did the second guy help his wife with her Soho business?
No his salary would’ve been just enough to cover the rent expenses, so she probably was paying rent from her business revenues, maybe supported the rent earlier on with her own savings
Takeaway is don't be a loser
doesn't matter cause you're still going to be paying the bills regardless
Ummm, no…?
If you are making comments like this just to troll then fine (I guess?), but you realize there are women who also can pay for things and do? I know it’s shocking, especially for those of you that live in this weird online world where women are terrible and all the bad stereotypes are true. But I’ve seen it, can you believe that?
I've been on dates with hundreds of women. On majority of them I was a poorer person, cause I come from poor family in a small town and dated a lot while being a student, i.e. not making money and living off of student debt. I've mainly dated women who were older than me, i.e. working professionals, some of whom were actually rich (partner at law firm, senior at a top consulting firm, etc.). I can only recall one instance when a girl paid for herself. And there were zero instances when a girl paid for me.
I don't want my wife even knowing what EBITDA is
i prefer corporate types who can contribute but in reality if you date hot women - you will be paying for things regardless. if you don’t agree/get that. then you don’t date hot women.
For those of you who say that "I wouldn't want a stay at home woman because I want her to not be bored, make lots of money, be ambitious, avoid the stay-at-home-mom stereotype, etc." Sound miserable and pathetic.
You've obviously never been raised, dated, or around a well-rounded women. I think about my mother who was a stay-at-home-mom type who had cooked better then any restaurant (gourmet salads daily), had and managed a 500 sqt garden, knitted sweaters, volunteered actively, actually raised children correctly, and kept a spotless home from floors to bathrooms.
Make more money so your wife can avoid the miserable office life so she can enjoy and do what shes biologically driven for.
You are missing a good part of the reason why some guys might prefer women who work. A guy might want a woman to work from a financial perspective but today, most educated women want to work. I do not think this trend is going to change. Would you want to stay home and raise the kids? My guess would be be no, so why should a woman have to be the one who takes on this responsibility full time
My response to, "most educated women would want to work" is psyop of the last decade or so. Sure, 10% of women love the hustle and grind culture, majority would not. Guaranteed. They've been duped otherwise.
"Would you want to stay home and raise kids" WTF kinda answer is this? Child-rearing and raising children is some of the those satisfying and life-changing events for women. Society is so FUQQED
Too add:
My mother was 100x happier then all the teachers that worked and were doing Honest good-work by the way. And that was teaching. Cannot imagine managing office politics and weekly PT reports.
It's office work, not hunting wooly mammoths with spears. There is absolutely nothing 'biological' keeping women from working in a generic office job. In fact young women in New York are actually earning more than young men these days.
Go look at any study of women working in an office vs at home and you’ll see comparatively women are much happier at home. Missing the point.
I don’t want a DNB, I’m still young. Prefer to have a high earner who’s aligned to the life goals and lifestyle we want - a partner who will build that with you.
I literally have to google acronyms like this. What is this, Reddit?
Old guys do not know the acronym DNB. You can count me in that group.
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