Depressed College Graduate with no job, broke and drinking alcohol everyday! Need Help! At the end of the rope!
Hi everyone,
I graduated college in the middle of the pandemic with no job lined up and ever since I have become extremely depressed. I have resorted to drinking every night to just be able to sleep. I don't know what to do anymore. My goal isn't even investment banking at the moment. I have been doing my own research and investment banking sounds interesting to me, but I have to be realistic and I am not breaking into that field with my current situation. For now what I want is an entry level FP&A role, but even that seems hopeless. My resume is crappy with no relevant internship experience. Went to a non-target school and studied finance with a 3.0 GPA.
I did poorly and I own up to it. I became depressed sophomore year of college and ever since it has taken a toll on me academically, mentally/physically. I am literally sleeping at like 4 AM in the morning and waking up at like 1 PM. I got no one to talk to, no more friends around, no support system, I'm broke and I feel like I am a bum. I'm at my rock bottom and I am fighting tooth and nail to get out of it. What should I do? I am a far cry from who I used to be and it kills me that I have become like this. I used to be someone with goals, ambition and drive. Now, I can hardly keep my head straight.
I am new here, but I have been around for some time. I think I can use some real advice. I am lost, hopeless and I want to do something right now to turn it around before it is too late. I feel like a wreck and have started to contemplate if I want to live and keep going. I know I have to keep going because there is no other choice, but I am suffering. The pain is real and I don't feel happy where I am right now. My goal is to get a job and move out of my parents house. I'm in New York, so there are plenty of jobs and opportunities, but depression has ruined my life. I have lost all sense of self value, I really don't know if I can do anything anymore. I feel broken and I am getting help. I've stopped drinking and have a therapist appointment coming up. If anyone's been through something like this and have some advice please share.
TL;DR - I'm 25, graduated college in the middle of the pandemic a year ago with a 3.0 GPA, non-target, finance major. Ever since then I have become disruptive and at my lowest point in life. Been drinking every night to sleep. No job, no friends, no support system, no clue what the fuck to do anymore. Feeling like I have bottomed out and that this is it. I am getting older and I need to figure it out like right now. Please help!
Take a breath and relax. We've all been there at one point or the other.
You have to realize that life is dynamic, non-linear, and rather unpredictable. Often times you think you're in control, but in reality, you're really not. What are the things you can control right now this second?
1. Your thoughts
2. Your intentions
3. Your actions
I've struggled with mental health earlier on in my life - and have lived through exactly what you're talking about. No friends, No support system, making $26k after taxes, sleeping on a foam mattress in a studio with two friends. It was extremely painful. For the record, I was non-finance and had a GPA around yours.
The list goes on and on. I recognize and feel your pain of knowing that you're capable of so much more, but having the inability to do so immediately. The one facet that has become resounding - and is an accurate and real mantra, is that your thoughts determine your actions, which determine your life. You need to control your mind. I highly recommend you seek out sources on how to meditate and put it into practice in your life, which is what I did. It's made all the difference in every single aspect of my life.
Your past is your past, and you can't continue living in that. You need to live in the present and the now. What can you do right now this second for work?
1. Network with people
2. Send out cold-emails to inquire about jobs / new roles
3. Join organizations to meet those that work in roles that you want to
Life is high stakes. You need to push yourself past all pain, discomfort, and negativity. You'll see that ALL the stories you tell yourself about not being good enough, smart enough, etc...is all a load of complete bullshit. You're feeding yourself lies about how you're not good enough - and that's creating a negative feedback loop which is turning all your lies into reality. Dare to prove yourself wrong.
Push yourself harder and better than you have ever done in your entire life. Don't think about it - just do it. Take Cold Showers. Meditate every day. Journal your thoughts. Write down your game plan of where you want to be. Figure out HOW exactly you can get there, and execute on it. Continue going to therapy. Go to the gym once or twice a day. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're capable of greatness, because at the end of the day, you truly are.
Take all of your self-doubt, lack of confidence, and all of that energy and channel it into being great and creating an amazing life for yourself. Do it for your parents, for yourself, and for your future legacy.
You need to take action, action, action. I promise you that while it may be painful now, your effort will guide you to where you need to be. You'll look back on this moment as one of the most beautiful in your life - because you'll realize that success is truly the path and not the destination. This is simply a part of the mosaic that is life.
Kick down some fucking doors, be great, and make yourself into the person both you and I know you can become. PM me for any advice at anytime.
I sent you my Whatsapp in case you need someone to talk to you, should you really be at the end of a rope.
You need to break the cycle. If basketball was something you loved, go do that. Like A LOT. Move your body, practice immaculate self-care.
No worries. You have to realize that it's a process - and you need to put in a framework that you can implement over, and over, and over - until you get the results that you need.
Nothing happens overnight, so keep in mind that you will need to put in as much effort as you can to turn things around. Rome wasn't built in a day - and rewiring your mind is no different. Be patient, try hard, and keep in mind where you want to be. I was non-finance, didn't even know what an internship was when I graduated - and was way behind all of my finance peers. My school was also non-target. Fair to say you're better off than I was.
The world hasn't changed - it's still full of possibilities. Your mind is the only thing that has changed since you were younger. You have to realize that you are not defined by your successes, failures, anything. Events happen - the meaning that you give to them are your own. You're severely overthinking how bad your situation is - and you need to turn your mind off and just be in the moment. I highly recommend that you look up meditation and start to implement - BuddhistSocietyWA on YouTube is a favorite of mine. You don't need to change your religion - or assume one if you don't have one - to practice mindfulness.
Also - get back into basketball, do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be otherwise.
Hey man, PM me and let’s have a zoom chat. Ive been there, you can overcome this too!💪
First step is to take a job, any job (even flipping burgers) to rebuild a sense of routine and professionalism and make a few bucks on the side.
Second step is to study for the CFA and try to take and pass L1 while working job 1. If i were you I'd shoot for May 2022 test date but August is fine also (I realize May is already in late fee territory).
Once you've passed L1 cut job 1 to part-time and start actively seeking for entry level analyst roles. Steps 1 and 2 will keep you occupied for the next 5-8 months and by that time there will be more jobs to look at as well.
Hang in there man. Life has its hard moments and you’re in one now. With your positive intentions and professional help this will pass.
I will advise you that the people telling you to apply/get a job are meaning well but I don’t support that advice. You need to take the time to work on yourself first before you attempt to take on an interview process. If not, these items will appear during the process and that’s not going to help you feel better.
Take the time to work on yourself first, get a therapist, and then you will be in a much better position to move forward in your career.
Good luck!
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