Has anyone else ever contemplated ending their own life? What was your story and how did you reel yourself back in from the deep end? At the moment, I’m dealing with a lot- not just career related- and it’s all snowballing and I feel like just taking the easy way out sometimes…
I’m not where I want to be and I don’t know how I’ll ever get there or if I ever could.
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Not gonna give you the whole “don’t do it bro” even though yeah, don’t kill yourself. I’ll respond to the dark thoughts.
Yes - I grew up bullied. Not just picked on, but severely bullied to where I woke up every morning full of hatred. I hated everybody and everything. Never thought of killing myself, but I often contemplated what committing crimes would result in (beating the shit outta someone).
Life can suck, but what makes us men is being able to overcome these trials and tribulations. I asked my crush out to homecoming in high school after being convinced by a friend to do so, but turns out she was already going with our other friend. They knew but wanted to embarrass me. I truly thought I’d be alone forever in high school - turns out that once I got to college and around people I hadn’t spent my whole life growing up with, I actually wasn’t such a failure or weirdo. Got laid a ton but ruined lots of flings because I became addicted to the outside validation I had never had my entire life.
I became severely numb to everything. Lots of drugs and alcohol in college lead me to doing really stupid and dangerous things to feel alive.
I’m an entirely different person now - just want you to know that no matter how bad your current situation is, it can probably get much worse. Lastly, and people will hate on this but I agree with the principle, is if you’re truly set on ending it all, spend 6 months getting in the best shape of your life. Get a 6 pack - if you still feel like ending it all then damn.
I appreciate this, but getting laid or in shape has never been the problem for me. It’s feeling of being stuck that I can’t get out of. Stuck in my career, stuck in my position in life. I want nothing more than to just break free from these hypothetical chains, but I just cant
Why can’t you? List all your “problems” - writing stuff down might sound dumb but it can help put into perspective stuff that’s just stuck in your head
Please talk to someone. Either a friend, family member, or other trusted person.
For the original poster and anyone else who comes across this thread in the future:
Crisis Lines
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. If you're thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. You can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or chat.
Crisis Text Line
Text Line is free, 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text 741741 from anywhere in the U.S. to text with a trained Crisis Counselor. Crisis Text Line trains volunteers to support people in crisis. With over 79 million messages processed to date, they are growing quickly, but so is the need.
Trevor Lifeline
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. The TrevorLifeline is a crisis intervention and suicide prevention phone service available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386. TrevorText is available by texting "START" to 678678.
TrevorSpace is an online international peer-to-peer community for LGBTQ young people and their friends.
Trans Lifeline
Trans Lifeline is a national trans-led 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to improving the quality of trans lives by responding to the critical needs of our community with direct service, material support, advocacy, and education. Fighting the epidemic of trans suicide and improving overall life-outcomes of trans people the Trans Lifeline facilitates justice-oriented, collective community aid. Their peer support hotline is run by and for trans people. The line is available daily from 7 a.m.–1 a.m. PST / 9 a.m.–3 a.m. CST / 10 a.m.–4 a.m. EST. Volunteers may be available during off hours. Call 877-565-8860 to speak to someone now.
Veterans Crisis Line
The Veterans Crisis Line is a free, confidential resource that's available to anyone, even if you're not registered with VA or enrolled in VA health care. The caring, qualified responders at the Veterans Crisis Line are specially trained and experienced in helping veterans of all ages and circumstances; many of the responders are veterans themselves. If you're a veteran in crisis or concerned about one, there are caring, qualified VA responders standing by to help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1-800-273-8255 and press 1 or text 838255.
For more resources: https://www.samhsa.gov/childrens-awareness-day/event/resources-suicide-prevention
For international suicide crisis lines: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
All of you are valuable and worthwhile, please look at these resources if you are struggling or know someone who is struggling. To everyone else, knowing about these resources is so important in our industry given the toxic culture at many companies. If our employers won't look out for our mental health, then we as a community need to help each other out.
I had dark thoughts once. When you’re spiraling in dark thoughts, it’s so hard to believe anything anyone is telling you. There’s no magic timeline, but I’m a strong believer that if you give it enough time, your life will turn around. It did for me.
If you end it now, you’ll never know. You’ll never know if it gets better. If we fade into oblivion, that’s it. That’s all you’ll see. What if this is it? Of all the things in the world, seeing the future was enough to keep me going. Maybe it’ll be enough for you. But seriously though, message me. I will text you, call you, idc. Don’t give up on life. You may not want to live but other people want you to live. Just delay it for them and see what happens. Give it one more day, one more week, one more month. Message me. Day by day it can get better
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