Attacked by deaf overweight dog

Just got tackled by a deaf hundred pound bulldog. The beast approached, stood on its two stubby little legs, grasped one knee and immediately begun to thrust aggressively while sloshing saliva on the inner thigh. Fought with the creature for a minute, leaning left, right, back and forth, struggling for balance. Owner just stood there and laughed—apparently the fucking thing does this to everyone when unleashed. There goes the bespoke trousers. What are some of your memorable dog incidents you can share?

20 Comments
 

Lol amen, thinking the same thing here.

OP - why is your profile pic an image of high heels? Are you wearing those?

 
Most Helpful
"Rashers"

Name the designer and style and I’ll tell you.

I think you're a dumbass for thinking anyone could possibly recognize the heels in that tiny ass photo.

Hell, I was curious so did a reverse image search which came up with 0 results. Now I'm pissed that you're a dumbass and wasted my time with no response yet of what these heels are that even an AI couldn't figure it out, so I think you're wrong in assuming that anyone would know what the fuck you are referring to in these elusive heels, which further deepens your level of dumbassery. Yes, I just made up a word - you deserve it.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
"Rashers" It probably had Chanel No. 5 scent hardwired as “hypocrite” somewhere in its tiny fried up brain.

What does Chanel No. 5 have to do with your shitty writing? Moreover, Chanel No.5 is the epitome of female banality. Everyone seems to have one. If you want to impress, find your own scent.

Also, please don't go showing off what perfume you wear. Frankly, my dear I don't give a damn.

 

An old lady walked in front of me perpendicular to the direction I was walking. As I walked past her -she was walking away- her dog turned around and took bite t my calf. Felt the teeth but there were no punctures.

 

lol—bet it was a nice, big, juicy, fat filled calf? Seems like one of the worst places to be bitten by a dog besides the throat. Say more, what happened after?

 

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