How do I stop coming off as nervous ?

Practice / exposure therapy. I’m not a psychologist but basically your body goes into fight or flight mode when you’re in an interview / networking setting and releases a bunch of adrenaline and makes your heart race, gives you sweaty palms, makes it hard to think etc. As you do it overtime, your body naturally gets used to it and you’ll find yourself reacting much more calmly, able to breathe more naturally, form clears thoughts etc. It’s all about repeated exposure. I’d recommend just doing as many low stakes interviews and networking calls as possible (even for jobs you aren’t interested in) and you’ll notice yourself getting much more comfortable and confident overtime. 
 

Source: Me. I was a godawful interviewer in college and came extremely close to striking out in recruiting before getting lucky with one offer (their first choice turned them down so they called me a week later). Proceeded to strike out in oncycle PE recruiting but then just kept doing a shit ton of interviews until I got really good at it and now consider it one of my key areas of strength (good enough to lateral from LMM PE to UMM PE, which is where I am now). 

Are you naturally predisposed to nervousness, or is it more environmental? If it is environmental, see what you can change about your day-to-day lifestyle that's making you nervous.

Same thing happened to me. I would get such an adrenaline rush during interviews that I would almost blackout, but by the time I had networked with over 10+ people  and gone through two sets of interviews I had somewhat normalized this feeling. Don't get me wrong I still get nervous when presenting, but now it is at a much more healthy level. So ultimately it came down to a mix of exposure therapy and realizing that my interviewers are just normal people doing a job. 

Also, I found that if you ask a junior or senior to do a mock interview with you and be a complete hardo dick then when you get to the actual interview you will be pleasantly surprised with how nice people actually are. Because if you can handle a senior student tearing you apart than interviews with professionals will seem much less intimidating. - unless you do get a hardo in which case you will be prepared.

Do karaoke

Otherwise, fake it until you make it if you need to. And I'm being serious about that. Not stupid faking it like a Breitling that costs more than your rent  just to show off,  but real faking like watching some YouTube intro vids on whatever so you at least know what it's about, learn some lingo so you're not the idiot intern who gets turned around and told do something productive by just getting everyone's coffee order, and ultimately what you should study. Show up angry. And I'm not talking about angry at them obviously. Not some cable news or BBG story of some interviewee wildin' out and getting tased by building security (seriously, please god don't be one of those kinds of people. Seen it, lived through one of those episodes, had the shirt, but for my psychological and emotional health? Straight into the trashcan not even ten minutes later. (And no, despite my absolutely heartwarming personality you all know, I wasn't the culprit lol)

Just show that spark of "I am so qualified and put together. Maybe the universe just needed me to wait it out for the right opp like this one to put me in the right place with the right team so we can make Copperfield's magic tricks look like a five year old's birthday clown routine? Oh hey, what's that behind your ear? A full 7yr multi-model DCF workup for that LBO whispered about just in their industry?"

It may take you more interviews and approaches, and therefore ultimately time, than you'd like. But the consistency is what pays off. Especially if you carry that perseverence over to your assignment after you sign that offer letter. Be consistent/disciplined and make your rfinding the next role your current role. IE 7AM - shower. 7:15AM - breakfast and whatever caffeine of choice. 7:45AM - check email for any updates from previous few days' applications. 8AM - grind it out on LinkedIn searching postings, pinging any connections you have,  reaching out to recruiters. Afterwards, do some reading and revising of the resume, any cover letter templates you've made. And if it's been appropriately long enough, reach out to whatever headhunter/recruiter you've already started a relationship. Remember kids, they only really get paid is once you sign that letter and YOU get paid too. Otherwise spend time on professional improvement like just reading up on current market trends, any new legislation coming down the pipe (FUCK YOU GDPR!), or obviously all the homework you can do on whichever firm you have scheduled to talk to tomorrow. You want confidence? Approach them like an attorney where you already know the answer before you ask the question, but are just looking for them to confirm/admit it.

Sometimes though, the universe will throw you a curveball and you gotta try and play it anyways. Just don't let it get to you and pull a Ryan vs Ventura stunt like we discussed. So just be prepared that it can happen, but obviously none of us wish that on you. Unless there's a woman who's name or behavior rhymes with Tare-In. Dealing with them is step two after building that confidence to build those interviews into offers first.

Get a hard workout in before the interview - it will relax you.

2 things helped me:

1. exposure therapy like the above poster said. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations socially where you have to be outgoing to survive. Doesnt have to be interviews. Maybe join a nearby toastmasters group, or go by yourself to various social meetups (meetup.com has a bunch , yea you get friendless weirdos but its good to find events with strangers). Can be rec sports team, volunteer work, etc. You CAN build the muscle where you go from shy/awkward to outgoing and comfortable but it takes time. Also be comfortable with striking out, having embarassing conversations, etc. as you grow. Give yourself grace and realize you are trying to get better at something.

2. Get jacked. This sounds dumb but when you start lifting within a year you will be stronger than 99% of the population, including most people you interact with. This also helps trigger some flight or fight in you and you will just be more confident in being able to handle yourself. Sounds silly but it works

I always get nervous and jittery when interviewing or networking, but my favorite advice I've ever gotten from my Father in Law is this: people are more scared of you than you are of them.

Another one: you are a blip on everyone else's radar. Literally nothing more than a face and name. They'll forget you in 5 minutes. Dont let them have power over you in the moment or afterward.  

He's a lawyer and had to fight his natural predisposition as well. Litigators cant afford to come off as nervous!   

rangerfan243 How Do I Stop Coming Off As Nervous ?

Also, there is a difference in coming off as nervous and actually being nervous. Even if you feel nervous, you should be able to develop a good facade in this business so that you don’t make other people uncomfortable. 

Practice by yourself, practice with friends, and get the reps in with a volume of interviews. It’s not one of those things luckily that doesn’t get easier. It really does get easier and you just need to dedicate the time to making sure you practice enough reps to the point where you are speaking as a truly seasoned orator. This is one of the few things you actually have control of so take it by the reigns and conquer it

I’ll elaborate on karaoke as it seems to be ignored. Yes, even the raucous Wolf of WSO was at one time a timid non target kiddo gunning for the big show. I got door after door slammed in my face.

I hired a career coach for a hefty sack of shekels and got my resume IB ready. It worked. My phone started ringing and I was easily getting interviews to various boutiques and middle market firms. However, the wind was taken out of my sails when I’d get the technical drill and would say things like, “I may be wrong, but I think it’s x, y, and z.” I quickly heard, “Thanks, we’ll be in touch.” Constantly.

One Ib recruiter took an interest in helping me. He said, “This is one of the best resumes I’ve seen at this job fair, but I hate to say it, you’re lacking confidence. Here is how you overcome it. Do karaoke. I’m serious.” I promised I would.

Months later, and after annihilating classics like, “Josie’s on a vacation far away..” my confidence grew. If I could keep myself together in front of drunk strangers heckling me while I barely kept pitch to a song I liked, why was it so hard to describe what a higher growth rate does to the terminal value of a model?

I called the recruiter back and he said he remembered me. He had been promoted since we spoke (rightfully so) and said he didn’t have visibility into the current recruitment process.

Despite this story leading nowhere, I will say that karaoke was clutch to becoming more confident. And this is coming from someone who did both Toastmasters and Dale Carnegie to try and overcome my nerves.

The CFO of the organization I work for (never met the guy or spoke to the guy, I report to a division SVP) called me yesterday with a detailed question. Took the question with ease and confidently explained our position. Years ago I’d be sounding like a prepubescent boy with a shakey voice saying “yes sir, right away sir, I’ll find out what you need.” As the sweat and other bodily fluids pooled below my chair. I don’t flinch anymore and there isn’t much that gets me shook up.

Addendum. Unsure if this matters, but on more than one occasion, females would come up and say, “I love that song you sang, you did a great job…” easy opener. A handful of times there were drinks purchased for me at my barstool after performing. Know your limit though. The female host and I became friends since I was showing up week after week and after far too many during a rough week of work, I convinced her to do the duet “Superman by Eminem.” Brought the house down, but let’s just say I’m glad no one put that on YouTube.

On the supplement side, I take ashwagandha and l-theanine while also reducing my stimulant intake for high-pressure environments. Size up the former two doses based on expected anxiety.

Take a shot. I take a couple whiskey shots before every interview