After some years of having a plain-old cubicle with nothing other than some monitors and a notebook, then working from home on my makeshift living-room desk, I will soon be occupying my own sizeable corner office. Now I need some suggestions on how to decorate it, spiffy it up, make it my own. Honestly the only ideas I can think of are adding some ironic TV show posters (such as the "I Hate Mondays" poster from Futurama) or maybe having a human skull sitting on my desk to remind me of my own mortality (or strike fear into my inferiors?).
Alternatively, what are some things that others have around their desk/office that they either find useful/practical or that simply look cool? What are the less-known but still foundational items needed for an office? Any ideas welcome.
- hot water boiler to make tea
- espresso machine
Where do you get the ice?
If you want to keep up the kitsch theme, don't forget the velcro dart board and the neon colored velcro tennis balls to throw at it. Or the drinking bird on the desk. Oh, and of course you need the eponymous bright red swingline stapler.
For real world stuff, I keep a drawer with personal items in it like toiletries (late nights or early mornings happen to the best of us), some nicer snacks I don't want coworkers pilfering and other miscellaneous things like some small screwdrivers and other tools that you never realize you need in an office until that one-off situation comes up.
Not having a computer monitor nowadays would be the hugest flex
I've seen a lot of corporate roles without a computer on the desk, mainly where most of the staff has laptops. It's fairly common.
Loads of tombstones going back to the 90s
Don't do a human skull unless you're also willing to recite Hamlet's soliloquy, otherwise it's just weird.
Definitely have something on the walls (posters isn't quite my aesthetic, unless its classic and framed, but you do you), a coatrack, drawer with some misc items (I keep some light snacks and floss in mine), otherwise my desk itself is fairly spare of personal affects, it's just work stuff (calculator, paperwork, pens, notepads, etc.).
If you are looking for non-practical stuff: a decanter with glasses always kills, a putter with some golf balls, TV on the wall (might fall into practical if you actually use it for presentations/business), conversation starter items like your alma mater paraphernalia.
If you really want to do posters then go this route: https://www.sothebys.com/en/buy/auction/2022/original-film-posters
Frame something nice, it's super cultured and just generally dope. Maybe avoid some of the Bond posters haha.
Also, you should put large female crossfit pros posters around the office to assert dominance.
I decorate my office with some badass and expensive historical artifacts (mostly weapons).
I have a Polish halberd from the 17th century in great condition that I snagged at an auction for £18k, a series of German Empire (Second Reich) cavalry/officer sabers (~1-2k each), some Jade pieces and porcelain from the Ming Dynasty, a few mundane Hellenic artifacts from pre-Macedonian times and some Persian daggers that dates back to the Achaemenid Empire. The crown jewel of my little collection is probably an Italian Sallet (fancy helmet) that was engraved with a biblical scene and adorned with gold and silver, dating back to the early Renaissance that I bought from a (likely) art thief for just under £80k.
(home office), don't bring a halberd to the office.
username checks out.
I appreciate everyone's suggestions! Forgot to mention the pretty neat / alternative way my dad has his office decorated: his walls are covered in various framed documents that are signed by historical figures. He has letters/contracts/stock certificates etc signed by the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, Andrew Jackson, Hancock and so on. I'd say that falls under the "boss" category (and a far cry away from my futurama poster idea)
I touched a shield that was displayed in the same case as a xiphos that was touched by Alexander the Great so I think I beat you
The the minimalist route. Best way to skip the awards that are yet to be achieved. Keep it as empty as possible. Free up your mind too
I recently got one of those custom acrylic nameplates with "Pls fix, thx" in nice cursive. It's already my favorite office decoration, $35 well spent.
Keep it simple and professional:
You're calling USB drives outdated but suggesting business cards?
I had a taxidermy piranha on my desk. (I just realized I might have lost it)
If you ever collected something as a child you could frame that collection and hang them in your office. (rocks, arrowheads, trading cards, sports cards, or stamps)
Maybe some framed Mark Rothko prints if you are into contemporary art.
As close as possible to this:
That is yours?
Damn, an office as a second year AM analyst? Teach us your ways bro
Could be wrong, but an analyst in ER / AM is similar to a VP in banking, PE, etc, no?
Yeah dude an Analyst is literally the only one step below PM (some shops have Sr. Analyst but role is the exact same -- it's like Director vs. MD)
All the diplomas/certs (CFAI ESG doesn't give you one btw) Also put up the listing plaques. Medals and NYSE nametags are fun too.
Your dick in a box
Football shawl, your diploma, and pictures of the Mrs and kids. 'Nuff said.
take things slow. Don't rush into it.
A bottle of expensive alcohol and glasses. It looks expensive and a little provocative)
Pics of your multiple sets of families/kids since you are on wife 3 or 4.
That's when you know this guy phucks
Found Dollar Bill Stern everyone!
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