is there hope for me
Disclaimer: not actually having a crisis, just curious to hear thoughts.
Female in finance here. Have read countless posts about guys in finance and their preferences for partners on this forum and feel like there is a general sentiment that guys in finance prefer not to date girls in finance (obviously there are exceptions). However, if I had a choice, I would prefer to date a guy in finance who understands what I do (because I generally enjoy my job and plan to stay), and actually am not that interested in having kids (really feel like I'm an outlier here). I've found it difficult to date in my city so far and am just interested to know what you guys think about dating girls who are in a really similar field of work as you/have my preferences. I don't think I've seen one of these posted from a female POV and curious to read your perspectives.
Also, yes I work a lot but don't think i'm a complete workaholic, have hobbies outside of work and am not ugly if that helps lol
what are we supposed to do with your disclaimer? do you want an answer or not?
Yeah I want an answer, disclaimer is just to say I'm not having some romantic crisis and am desperate for help, I'm just curious to read opinions on the topic
Take what you read on here with a grain of salt.
I can assure you there are plenty of "finance couples" I have met in my life and not every guy wants kids. I don't see how this would be difficult.
the one question you may want to clarify for yourself is why you find dating so hard in your city. that, I can not answer.
Not the female POV you’re looking for but don’t take what you read on here too seriously. Only a small minority of posters actually works in finance, the rest is nothing but clueless high schoolers and college students
back to getting coffee intern
Not a female, but it would help if you clarify what field of finance do you work in. Are you actually an associate in private equity?
Yes, I actually am an associate in PE
Lmao this prospect trying to get a wife on WSO.
The reason I asked that is because the situation would be different if she was working a 9-5, 9-6 Corp fin job.
No shade but what's your value proposition as a female then?
Some guys don’t want kids either,
.
Smfh this comment is hilarious but of course some people had to MS. Comedy is like kryptonite to an SJW.
I know people that genuinely think like that.
My honest opinion. No, I would not go out of my way to date a woman in IB/PE/CO. (I work in the high tech industry)
Why would I want to talk to a boring banker girl who stared at an excel spreadsheet all day, when there are athletes, scientist, models, professors, artist, and people with really interesting lives out there. Going to Harvard and getting a job at Goldman is about the least interesting thing someone can do with their life in my opinion. Most bankers are very adverse to risk, making them extremely conserved and boring people, similar to big law. I have yet to have a conversation with a lawyer at one of the big law firms, that does not scream boring personality; if any personality at all.
As previously stated, "I would not go out of my way to date a female in finance". This still leaves room for the possibility. If you do in fact have a decent personality, you do not take yourself too seriously, and you are kind to people I am sure you will find love. But love can mean different things for different people which is why communication is so important in a relationship.
Either way I wish you the best on your love endeavors.
lmfao ok guy Im sure you're dating so many athletes and models. what kind of post is this lol.
Check this guys post history, absolute weirdo. Pretty sure he's still in college too.
Would you consider your “high-tech” life to be interesting?
Right like i promising you beep-booping some code in your gaming chair all day isn’t the jet set models and bottles lifestyle you think it is bro lmao
It is definitely more interesting managing a team of people than staring at an excel spreadsheet. I am working with a team facing new challenges every day.
Works out great then since I am sure that females in IB/PE/CO/Law have little interest in dating a “high tech” autist
Cheers
Glad you know what you don't like. That's one step in the correct direction.
You came on WSO with an introductory post about yourself claiming you wanted to be in Investment Banking with some elaborate story about your cousin. Just cause you couldn't make it into IB, you're now shitting on people who work in banking as boring people?
Lmfao this guy is definitely in tech
what the hell is "high tech"
I don’t think I’d be completely opposed to dating a girl in finance. Only thing I’d be concerned about is how busy we’d always be and the fact she’d not want to start a family eventually.
Kids are a something that I personally want, so specific to me, I'd obviously want to find someone who wants them as well. Have plenty of buddies who don't want them though so it really just depends.
With respect to your career; I think it'd be ideal to a lot of guys to date someone who is hard-working and career oriented such as yourself. Excuse my blunt delivery, but yea, some guys just want their partners to be housewives. Nothing wrong with that at all, but it doesn't sound ideal for someone like you. I can appreciate, being a guy, the idea of working a long day and then having to come home and talk about what you just left at the office (within reason, of course). On the contrary, I know a ton of guys who explicitly want someone who is hardworking and ambitious, regardless of whether that manifests in their career or somewhere else in their life. I think the short answer for you is there are (obviously) guys out there who have similar ideals to yours. Maybe in finance specifically you're running into some trouble, but I don't doubt for a second there isn't a lawyer or software engineer out there that is equally devoted to their career that would fit what your looking for.
short answer is yes. if you are an independent woman who's interesting and not ugly, you can find a man. disregard most of what you see on this forum regarding dating, especially from unverified accounts as they're likely to be high schoolers or college kids.
also, the guys who constantly pose dating questions or platitudes like the hot/crazy matrix, that graph that shows men shouldn't marry until they're X age are likely unsuccessful with women. I've never met anyone in a happy relationship who believes that bullshit. it's usually guys who just went through a bad breakup and are trying to justify their promiscuity, or someone who's never been successful and is justifying their lack of a SO as biological. RED PILL BRO
tagging InfoDominatrix for an actual female perspective.
I’ll back this. High earning partner who doesn’t want kids? Major value prop from my perspective
You’d be surprised how many guys don’t want kids, they are just not going around advertising it. In fact, my friends who really should be having kids are the ones who don’t really want them
As long as you're feminine I couldn't care less what your job is. If you're the kind of "type A aggressive businesswoman" that is not what most guys want. But I know plenty of girls who work in finance who are very attractive and have / would date
The moment you try to start to put your future SO in these boxes is the moment you lose. You've never met this person.
Also, PE isn't that complicated. Most decently smart guys should be able to understand what you do. They don't have to be in finance. If you restrict it to only looking for guys in finance, you might be waiting forever. Honestly, WSO is probably the best place to meet your future SO if you demand they be in finance. Or move to NYC if you don't live there already. Good luck.
Do you think Patrick has a potential business opportunity here? Maybe use some of the money from the IPO to build this out? Lol
Do you workout?
Yeah, I work out
Nice
I promise that you'll find a suitable mate. Working in finance and not wanting kids is less of a dealbreaker than you think.
Happy to take this offline and discuss further in my dms.
Shoot your shot.
What city are you in? Depending on what part of the country you are in COVID could be heavily correlated to the lack of successful dating. I am in NYC and it is almost impossible to go anywhere with anyone, even if it's just for a casual drink.
.
tl;dr
Yeah, of course, there are a lot of guys looking for serious relationships and are looking for a successful partner.
To share my opinion though, work shouldn't matter that much. There are great people doing all sorts of things for a living.
Its nice being around someone that can pull their own weight. In my last relationship, the girl was lagging financially and I paid for her gas and other things as she was pretty broke.
On the other hand, when I was 24, I was in a relationship with a 30 year old girl who wanted to get married and was rich enough that I wouldn't ever have to work again, but I wasn't that into her, so didn't want to be around the wrong person for money.
I'll be honest in saying that I'm somewhat "intimidated" by a girl that works in high finance. I'm going to generalize here, and say that most guys in finance are like me as well. By "intimidated", I mean that I don't want a wife that shares my same goals and has the same drive. What I want, which is what I think most guys in IB/PE/HF want, is a woman who I can see helping raise my future children. I think a lot of guys who get into banking are very forward thinking, and, even as a young analyst, are looking towards a future family that they want to have. To conclude my generalization, I think most guys in finance share those two characteristics. Obviously, these are the two concerns you pointed out and I just wanted to affirm them, but don't lose hope. I know of several guys who would be down with a woman who makes more money than they do and doesn't want to have kids. However, you may need to widen your pool of potential partners to outside of finance if you're scared about not ending up with anyone (and let's face it, if you weren't worried about that right now, then you wouldn't have made this post).
I hope I don't come off as a dick in saying this, but if you were hoping for people to come on here and tell you that your current notions of the finance-female dating scene are incorrect, don't expect that to happen. Good luck, and I mean that sincerely.
You said you are not ugly, but you didnt say you are not fat or hot for that matter. Maybe hit the gym more and lift some weights. It funny that this advice also goes for women and not just lazy fat man
Lol appreciate the advice, but I already work out
I wouldn't date a girl that works for the same company as I do (for obvious reasons).
Just my 2 cents, but as someone who also works a lot, I think the main reason I wouldn't is because if she works a lot then our free-times would be tough to overlap. That's probably the primary reason.
Short of being on one's deathbed, I believe there is always hope. :)
Here's an older gal's take on a few things:
I would not recommend using work as a dating pool, too much potential for things to go sour and then that makes work even more hellish. I'd also recommend being cautious about dating within the ripples of other firms that you interact with people directly. A boss of mine decades ago warned me how incestuous IB could be "if they don't know you directly, they will very likely know people you know and/or they may know you by your work reputation" which I have found to be incredibly true.
There's plenty of jobs outside of IB with crazy hours, be it healthcare, law, entertainment, etc., so don't do yourself any favors assuming that only other IB'ers will understand/grasp/tolerate/relate to your work schedule, it will only narrow your potential universe of choices.
There are women who don't want children and there are also men that fall into that category. Me and my man have chosen not to have children of our own. This doesn't have to be a deal breaker, but it's not necessarily going to be something that will come up all that early in the dating/hooking up scene.
Glad to hear that you're not in crisis and that you're not a workaholic and that you have outside interests, it's very important to enjoy your own company and to have your own passions, whether you're single or when you're part of a couple, I stress this to my nieces and young women in my life. I don't know the city you live in, but I'm a big fan of recommending things like Meet-ups and other platonic group gatherings - you meet a wide range of people in a no-romantic-pressure setting, whether it's hiking, attending a concert, doing a DIY/arts & crafts project, volunteering, etc. These outings can help you expand your circle of friends as well as be another ripple to dip into for your love/sex life.
2020 has really thrown a monkey wrench into all our social lives, I can only imagine it's especially sucky for those that are single and looking to mingle. Good luck to you and here's to a better 2021 in every way, shape and form for you and all of us!
Wow, this thread turned into a trainwreck really quickly. OP, please don’t take anything you read on this site seriously. A lot of the people who post here are either high school kids, college kids, or random trolls.
Lol some of these comments are at best funny and at worse, shockingly out-of-touch with modern dating. As a women in finance, I personally wouldn't recommend dating other finance people either because they either fall into 2 categories: frat "bro" or socially awkward. Neither of which are my type. I would recommend dating within other careers that require a lot of ambition like engineering or law (although keep in mind they kind of fall in the same stereotypes as well).
I fit into neither of those categories. PM me and let's get coffee :)
Hahaha ok student/prospect
Nihil eveniet aliquid ab modi voluptatem excepturi. Ratione corporis quia ad officiis sequi iusto recusandae veniam. Accusamus non dolores incidunt perferendis rem amet exercitationem.
Sit voluptatum sint inventore sapiente sed. Et aperiam neque eos consequatur. Modi maxime ea occaecati amet.
Consequuntur at perferendis dolores nisi omnis facere. Repellendus repellendus repellat est autem amet. Quia eaque cumque quos corporis voluptatem quo. Odit sed sapiente ut ad veritatis sed. Ullam totam perferendis provident dolore veritatis excepturi id.
Ut asperiores ut ducimus voluptate repellendus alias. Minima quis necessitatibus aut. Dolorem minima autem minus sunt earum atque qui. Omnis ex quo et assumenda.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Qui aut eos doloribus sit est porro aperiam molestias. Voluptas dolor assumenda minus hic dicta. Dolores nobis omnis magni corrupti. Optio aliquid aut sit est magni facere.
Cumque cum voluptas consequatur illo. Adipisci praesentium quos consectetur. Error nesciunt laudantium molestiae nemo asperiores. Recusandae dolorem atque dolor dolorum. Exercitationem autem qui non et nostrum voluptatibus. Ex amet odit voluptatem ex odit labore voluptas.
Facilis modi ea quaerat rerum porro ut qui. Ex placeat dicta reiciendis ut. Et doloribus inventore delectus quae. Nemo assumenda ducimus nihil distinctio eligendi.
Corrupti libero sint sunt. Velit placeat ex neque quisquam esse praesentium sit. Maxime cupiditate laudantium omnis ratione. Voluptas labore eveniet ducimus consequatur quos.
Nostrum maxime dolores ipsa similique in quia et. Fuga ex laborum et dolores reprehenderit qui voluptas. Aut provident sit et. Nostrum quia dolor ut. Quis provident tenetur labore fugiat sunt enim. Et dicta officiis officiis enim neque in minima. Eveniet quas reiciendis omnis eos quia et modi.