random99:

I mentioned it on the board before. A guy who was replaced and then sacked without him knowing or getting a warning. once a replacement was found he was told he can leave and the replacement came in the following week.

Isn't that how like every firing works?
"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

Not my story, was told by an ibanker:

The guy I know is a "superior" and one of his fellow superiors told one of the lower level guys to get him a coffee. The guy hesitated but did it, then when the guy returned the superior told the guy I know "see how much power we have over these retards"

I hope I never meet anyone that rude, especially for no reason!

 

Asking a fax to be sent from the office at 3am when the juniors are home outside zone 2, if this doesn't get done, someone will be fired.

 
pierceandpierce:
My MD calls an Asian analyst "Long Duck Dong"--to his face and when talking about him with superiors.

why didn't he just puch that fucking bastard!!! this is unbelievable! there are other banks on the street too...

 

A superior once told me go to the office and fedex him some documents at 3 AM. I did it, but he dissappeared next week. Never to be seen again.

After that, I've been leaving at 7 PM and noone has said a word.

 
Best Response

Was told this by a friend working at a BB.

1)Friend and his MD riding up the building elevator when elevator stops prematurely at a lower floor X where two fat women are waiting to go up. MD looks them up and down and asks what floor they're going to. Women respond X+1 (literally next floor up). Staring at them in disgust and not letting them in he presses the elevator's close button and mumbles they could use the stairs.

2)Same place same MD. One of the groups junior analyst or trader screwed up a limit order and lost the division a bit of money. MD came out raging and chucked a stapler at the guys head resulting in a confetti of staples.

 
l2jc:

Was told this by a friend working at a BB.

1)Friend and his MD riding up the building elevator when elevator stops prematurely at a lower floor X where two fat women are waiting to go up. MD looks them up and down and asks what floor they're going to. Women respond X+1 (literally next floor up). Staring at them in disgust and not letting them in he presses the elevator's close button and mumbles they could use the stairs.

2)Same place same MD. One of the groups junior analyst or trader screwed up a limit order and lost the division a bit of money. MD came out raging and chucked a stapler at the guys head resulting in a confetti of staples.

1 is funny

2.. a stapler to the head could fucking kill you. Are you serious?

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

MD asks newly laterally hired Associate to be staffed on an extremely important transaction. Associate has to skip honeymoon for this. He does to impress MD. 3 weeks later MD hands him a letter firing him, because "he was such a big help on that transaction".

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

Vice President has pitch coming up for a deal. Has 4 analysts working all-nighters. Comes in the next morning, hears how they worked all night, says "that's alright, we pay these children a small fortune for this" and forwards an email from the night before (7pm) how the pitch had been postponed for 3 or 4 weeks.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

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