Ever since a friend’s kid came over to my house and showed my kids the mobile games, my kids have been addicted. That was about a year ago. Since then, I’ve seen my children drift off into the Metaverse. My son who started at 4 years old and is now 5, is very good - great dexterity with fingers and has accumulated in his words “trillions of Roblox money.”
While the finance guy in me grins at the thought of my little son making trillions in the Metaverse - Very Good Boy. Is this a phase and he will move on to other obsessions? I was addicted to video games when I was younger (but could only play if I’m in my room in front of TV or computer - but with mobile, no boundaries), but I also was a voracious reader, and spent hours reading the World Book encyclopedia, even while sitting on the toilet.
They have zero similar interest in reading. Just the kids wanting my phone or tablet to play. They want to watch YouTube videos of people playing the games.
Have my children lost their minds?
WSO community, some of you who are younger, please give me advice? Did you avoid these games like the plague and therefore overachieved over your Metaverse playing peers? Or did you channel you Roblox / Minecraft skills into value and accomplishment?
I’d rather they play games then watch YouTube. But I’d rather they be interested in reading and learning things. Don’t get me wrong they learn things and play sports (my older kid), but the games are so tempting, they are wasting their precious time. Thank you.
Currently a college senior graduating into an engineering role at a market making firm, and definitely someone who grew up playing Minecraft.
I think there's a fine line between being into video games growing up and being addicted to it. For me Minecraft taught me a ton of cool things, ranging from writing custom mods, hosting servers, basic networking, permissions / IAM, etc. At the end of the day, I'd say video games were what pushed me into being a CS major more than anything else.
On the other hand, I know plenty of people my age who do almost nothing socially and only sit around playing video games, which is super depressing. I'd say how you parent has a pretty big impact on it but I obviously have no experience with that. But yeah you need to grow into other things at some point, whether its school sports, music, snowboarding whatever else that actually gets you out of the house
Same experience brother
Same here. Minecraft really taught me a lot about computers, not just the CS part, but also mechanical since I wanted the game to run faster with memory cards and processors, have better internet/wifi, etc.
I started playing Minecraft when I was 9 and played during all my spare time until my first year in high school (14 yrs old?). In HS, I shifted my priorities to academics and sports, but I would play Call of Duty a couple of days a week (4-5 hours max). My early Minecraft days helped me become a better problem solver and more computer savvy, which helped me stay ahead of my peers during high school.
Personally, I don't see it as a significant problem since they are pretty young, but as they grow older, I would try to get them involved in more activities (reading/learning instruments). For example, you could set up a reading goal for them. Take them to the bookstore and help them choose books they'd be interested in. Once they finish the books, you could award them with roblox item or something? This is probably a shitty idea, but if you're concerned then maybe try providing small incentives to do other activities.
Hopefully this helps!
I think you and your parents collectively helped reign in a strong sense of self-control and boundaries so that’s awesome. Because I do overall think it’s a problem. Especially in a world where often times parents like to be left alone and not deal with their kids, these things offer outlets which let them take their foot off the pedal and have their kids lose themselves in the gaming world without much issue. So I agree, as a parent there need to be very strong boundaries set and there needs to be an emphasis on making sure your kid is well-rounded and not a hermit who is way too absorbed in a not real world.
You have to severely limit screentime for young children. The games are psychologically programming kids via Skinner boxes.
I have a 6 year old who gets very limited (maybe 2-3 hours a week maximum) time for TV/movies/games. She reads, writes, draws, does puzzles etc. in her free time which is defined as after homework and sports practice.
This, you want to make sure they don't get 'hooked' to these services. They're engineered to change the dopamine levels in your brain, and it'd be best if you build out a schedule with them ensuring they're able to pursue other activities as well. Once children get addicted to these games, it's really hard weaning them off.
All Roblox games are made by the community. That means thousands or millions of kids are learning
I grew up playing Roblox with friends I made online. Talking about the skills that game creators learn is a great argument, and it certainly holds water against the flipside. With that said, kids should be careful of not just the friends they make, but also the groups they hang out with. Many years ago, I used to be obsessed with organized crime and the money and gilded life that came with it; I got involved with some people online that had a role-playing group that acted like an 80's Mafia/drug dealer syndicate based in Miami.
But after a long time of this obsession with the Mafia and the culture that surrounded it, I was suspended from school for a few days for "threatening to kill" this douchebag of a teacher (multiple sources have said that the teacher was fired after that year because of a racist rant about slaves in his history class). While I've since regretted my actions, and because I try not to use my mental/emotional disabilities as an excuse, that stupid obsession that came from those games and the idiots that I used to hang out with cost me dearly in the end.
Short answer: it can beneficial for kids if they do things safely, but things can go badly in a hurry.
I grew up during my early-mid teenage years playing Minecraft. As I’m not sure how it would affect younger kids but I can tell you that I have some of my fondest summer memories playing that game with friends. I can tell you that I learned some “general” life skills playing it but at the end of the day I think it’s more about letting them have these types of memories and childhood experiences.
As with everyone else in this thread, video games were integral to my childhood. Going to keep it short as pressed for time but in short:
Ultimately they’re kids, and you as a parent should see if games are becoming an issue.
I have two sets of cousins. One pair grew up as “ipad” kids and are now both behind in school and have horrible social skills.
Other pair has a private school teacher as a mom and have limited screen time. Youngest is 12 and doesn’t have a phone. Oldest has phone locked at 7pm and it unlocks when he goes to school. These kids are MUCH smarter and mature than my other cousins.
Parenting plays the largest role here - DO NOT let the kids on social media, especially before high school. Nothing to be gained here. I played video games a ton growing up and still do when I have free time, but as others said, I also read books religiously. I used to get in trouble for reading too much.
You should limit it to about 1-2 hours a day. When they're old enough, sign them up for classes in stuff like public speaking, piano, art, or sports. Video games can be fun but it's no substitute for the activities that will really help your child grow.
I was one of those kids who grew up with parents who forbid video games in the house until I turned 12 or so. As a bi-product, I read religiously. I think by the time I began high school I had probably read 500 - 1000, 200+ page books (just trying to clarify that I am not incorporating the children's books I read when I was quite young).
One solution my parents had was that as I got older I would have to "earn" time to play video games. I could do chores around the house, help my parents run errands, or complete other tasks. I would also gain "video game time" through reading / journaling / studying. Even in the summer, my parents would purchase textbooks for the grade above me, and I would work through those in order to earn video game time. It was a 1:1 ratio, meaning that sixty minutes of cleaning the kitchen lead to one hour of mindless video game playing. Man, did my parents get a lot of free labor out of me during my video game-obsession years.
Writing this out, it makes me sound like I was a bit of a nerd who never left the house. By being more restricted with respect to gaming / cell phones, I spent more time hanging out with friends in person, playing sports, and reading. Reflecting on my childhood, I was playing more sports / hanging out with a broader group of friends and reading much more than my peers. This all led to inherent benefits down the road and I entered high school with a massive social group and confidence in my ability to digest new material. I also ripped through all reading assignments because while many of my friends grinded GTA I was crushing book after book.
I really appreciate the approach my parents took and will likely take a similar one for my own kids. Children today expect instant gratification, which is very dangerous when this becomes the norm at say age four.
To more directly answer your question, OP, I think there is something truly terrifying about how much access children have to electronics for entertainment. If I were you, I would be restrictive and monitor closely, especially when your children are under the age of 10. At this age, children should be making their own fun, not relying on a device to do the heavy lifting. I fear the age of children meeting up in person to play is slowly dying
Roblox is the Quake 3/UT99 of the day. I would guess 70%+ of game devs in 15 years will have gotten their start in Roblox modding.
That aside, I’d suggest encouraging creative/problem solving oriented play either via competitive game modes or building/economic game modes. Agreed to limit screen time as much as possible, but to me this is the highest value screen time most kids get. Far better than watching TV/YouTube, particularly if they focus on game modes that are challenging and force problem solving.
If you hear them being toxic, nip that shit in the bud. Make them be corroborative and fun to play with. This is the foundation of being a good teammate.
Thanks everyone for the advice, comments, and experiences. I hope other parents learn a bit more. Also don’t feel bad about how you parent.
Seems like my kids already had a taste of the “skinner’s box” brainwashing and the best path forward is to encourage them to be creators rather than just consumers of entertainment. Too much 2020 parenting by electronics unfortunately - actually 2020 is a cop out.
I’m going to look into how to build a Roblox game with my two kids, it’ll be our project.
I also will bargain screen time for more learning, especially now that my son is learning to read. This has motivated me, and given me some hope.
The parallels remind me of Sim City, which I played intensely (and Sim City 2000) - building, economics, cause and effect reasoning, delayed gratification (gotta save to build that stadium), also visual spatial intelligence.
On a personal note, one of two reasons I joke why I got into real estate was: playing Sim City and I thought it was a cool look to wear a suit and hard hat and step out of a limo at a construction site and yell at someone to get back to work (imagine Donald Trump, politics aside). The third reason was growing up in Hawaii, real estate development (high rise condos and luxury resorts) was one of the coolest jobs.
Deep down, video games helped me. I’m super efficient with excel, for example. Not proficient, but efficient. And I use visual spatial intelligence for designing buildings but also my financial models. I have to visualize a money making (and sucking) box in a spreadsheet.
But you need that extra curiosity - beyond games to tie it all together. And also spark to transforming consuming as practice for creation. A lot of what I’ve done in my career, I was a consumer first then later operated the business.
I do feel some guilt for not going device-free, but that is impractical in my household. I think early on, the jump into creation is key. That’s what I’m getting from the advice here.
Mahalo
of course there's nothing valuable in playing roblox and maincraft. however, if you try to make them read books instead, I guarantee you, they'll hate reading books. so probably let them waste their time. you're rich anyway, so they don't even need to be smart, knowledgable, or hardworking. you can put them in a good school and then in a good job when time comes. poor kids in India can't afford to waste time on accumulating "trillions of Roblox", rich American kids can.
I think most of the posts that are pro-video games here are a huge cope. Most people aren't willing to accept that they wasted their teenage years putting so much effort and thought into an array of pixels. Before you call me a "fun-hater", I was actually a huge fan of video games about 2 years ago. I got no tangible benefit from video games, and neither do most people. I think that I would have gained a lot more by reading books and socializing, instead of doing Skyblock, KitPVP or Bedwars (common Minecraft mini-games, for the Boomers out there). All the copes that people post, such as "social skills" or "community" can all be learned outside video games, and in the real world (and without the consequences).
Not a parent, but if I were to re-live my life, I would absolutely cut out the video games.
IMO a 4 or 5 year old needs to be playing in the dirt with their friends and not playing video games. Tons of research to show all of the negative affects on kids under 12 or so. Plenty of time for them to play games later on down the road. You can't convince me (and many others) that anything positive comes out of a kid staring at a screen multiple hours a day. I'm not a person that thinks kids shouldn't get any screen time, but it should be heavily monitored and in small chunks when they are young. Even watching TV is better than video games/social media. Youtube/social/video games all screw with your dopamine levels and make you ADD. I'd bet a lot of guys on here can't even watch a full TV show or movie anymore because their attention span can't focus for 1 hour.
I was 'the one who is good at video games' within the friend group (every group had one) growing up, and spent a lot of time on N64 and eventually XBox.
While I turned out ok, in hindsight these are pure consumption activities. I do credit games to building my imagination quite a bit. Nights exploring Zelda dungeons or Runescape quests were a blast. But pointing to these activities as building meaningful skills is usually a coping mechanism. Yes, in moderation the right game can teach teamwork, problem solving, etc. But you wont get benefit from 5+ hour daily COD binge sessions. Parents like these games because for young ones it makes them shut up, for old ones it keeps them safe. If they are playing games they arent out having sex, drinking alochol, smoking cigarettes, or whatever parents may fear these days.
Cant speak to Roblox. Based on this thread it does sound like there are useful elements. Similarly, as a kid the Sims and Age of Empires has useful elements. I think it's fine to engage kids in these games but moderation is key. Also IMO being 4 and playing games is absurd. At that age anything should be entertaining to you.
Also I laughed at friends who had parental controls on their computers as a kid, but I absolutely will limit my kids access when they get older. Social media is bad enough, but now you have influencers who peddle BS news for clicks, algorithms meant to make you addicted (these didnt exist when we first had the computer), you can take the computer anywhere with you now instead of smart phones, and only a few wrong turns can lead you to some really dark shit.
Smart phones had many societal benefits. But spending 4 hours online a day used to mean you were a nerd because it meant you had to be at home on the computer instead of out doing things. now there is no barrier, and the full reprecussiosn have yet to be seen or measured
It’s bad for the developing brain. Even now at 25 I can feel a tangible negative effect on my mind, mainly on my ability to focus and my desire to read/learn. I deleted all social media and cut off the videogames to solve it (except for fifa lol)
I’ve gamed on and off ever since I was really young and the short answer is: it heavily depends on the game
Certain games are designed to get you addicted. FIFA mobile for example resets every year and you have to play an absurd amount it challenges to get good players (and this has gotten worse over the years). The other route is pay to win but then they’d be throwing hundreds of dollars of your money. Many other common games such as league require huge time commitments and are designed to keep people addicted. Seriously, I have too many friends that will not do normal things and just game all day because of the addiction.
In my experience games that don’t require the Internet (PC/console) are MUCH better at allowing you to have a completely normal life and not being addicted because these games were one time purchases and/or allowed you to save progress / small time commitment. I used to play games such as Pinball and Tetris pretty heavily but after about an hour or so I’d go do different things because there was no daily challenge I had to do, novel character I had to get, etc. Each game wouldn’t last that long and I could just start again tomorrow without any changes. Similarly many of the old Nintendo games let you save your progress or were adapted with that functionality and again NO daily challenges, NO special characters , NO rankings or any of the other garbage that addicts and hooks people. And the game never resets so you can spend the next 3 decades trying to beat one game if you so choose. Additionally with these games because there’s no internet connection you are forced to play with real people (I played with my sister for most of these) which becomes a socializing event similar to how people watch sports together. Some modern games that fit in here are Smash Bros and MarioKart (console versions). I used to go old school though (think NES/SNES).
TLDR: Avoid games that are connected to the internet, require in-app purchases or require huge time commitments that cause your kids to get addicted and only seek games that were designed to entertain and not extract money and even force in-person social interaction.
Silicon Valley wants your kids addicted young... maybe get them in sports instead. There are more obese teenagers in America than ever before...
Learning tenacity in surviving creepers at night and rebuilding my house all the time was the only way I got this job are you kidding me?
Personally, I reckon they're pretty neat. These games spark creativity and teamwork, which is awesome. My kids have spent hours crafting and collaborating, and it's been a blast watching them learn and grow through play.
Personally, I reckon they're pretty neat. These games spark creativity and teamwork, which is awesome. My kids have spent hours crafting and collaborating, and it's been a blast watching them learn and grow through play.
Wow, troll bots trying to influence people like me, except they duplicated the posts. I might be more concerned now about these games.
I started playing roblox in 2007. I was 10. I practically grew up on it, but it had some good and bad notes.
A. I was introduced to clans and such, which was a pretty cool concept and Suprisingly it helped a lot with leadership and all that. Also I type faster than a mf.
B. I’m a loser when I mention it, or the cult of 12 year olds I once had as a preteen. You’re also exposed to the full force of the internet as a child who has no concept of social norms. You may also be groomed.
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