School is the best place to meet your future spouse
Recently, there were several articles on where people meet their future spouses. There was the controversial op-ed from a Princeton alumna who urged the female undergrads at her alma mater to snag a husband while they're in school because their pool will never be that good again. A recent NY Times article discussed the rapid rise of online dating while school still remains a top source.
I wanted to expand upon this a bit with my personal experience. I recently broke up with my long-term girlfriend whom I met in college. Lot of it was due to the fact that we will be at different schools, and we just did not see eye-to-eye on how to make things work. As a newly single man, I decided to try online dating since it seems like a rite of passage for young professionals. In the past six weeks or so, I have gone on dates with 10 women, all of whom I found on match.
Online dating profiles, by their very nature, are pretty dumb and incomplete; it is very difficult to ascertain whether the woman has the core qualities you're looking for, so one has to message as many remotely interesting women as possible, go on dates, and see what sticks.
Given that I'm looking for a very smart well-rounded woman who is ambitious, successful, well-travelled, well-read, and has her shit together, I spent much of the date trying to ascertain whether they possessed those qualities. Now don't get me wrong. I did not bombard them with questions about their college gpa, test scores, or resume, but over the course of the date, I was able to gather the information that I needed. Out of the 10 women, I went on a second date with just 2, and neither of those went any further.
This brings me to my point on schools. At top schools in particular, the admissions committee has pre-screened the students there. If I'm on a date with a classmate, I do not need to worry about whether she has her shit together. Moreover, by virtue of her being in school with me, I know that we're sort of on the same page with respect to our attitude towards education, professional success, ambition, etc.
Finally, due to the intense nature of school (especially b-schools), I will have a chance to interact with my female classmates in a wide array of situations: classroom, group projects, trips, social events, etc. In so doing, I will get a very clear view of their behavioral profile-how they respond to tough circumstances, how they treat people, how well they think on their feet and communicate, etc. Based upon such plethora of information, I can choose whether I want to ask out a woman in the first place, so I won't be wasting my time. In contrast, when I meet someone through online dating/clubs/bars, I will have to go on multiple dates at a minimum before I have a pretty good picture of the person.
I'm hoping to meet my future wife in school, so hopefully my analysis will prove to be accurate. Only time will tell.
Good luck. Do you already know the girls whom you will be studying with?
Thanks for the kind wishes! I met a bunch of girls during admit weekend.
This is so fucking stupid I don't even know where to start.
You're going to Wharton, we get it, big whoopee dude you get to pay 150k for a piece of fucking paper that certifies you took a GMAT prep class.
Except that I did not take a GMAT prep class and top MBA admissions is way more than test scores; it's about your overall accomplishments, both academically and professionally as well as your abilities as a future leader in the dynamic global business landscape.
Your contention that the MBA is just a piece of paper is technically correct. After all, I will be receiving a paper diploma in May 2015. But we both know that this piece of paper (which you seem to deride) is a powerful signaling mechanism to top employers across multiple industries and enables one to make career moves that otherwise would not have been possible.
What, did you take that out of some brochure? If you're the "future leader in the dynamic global business landscape", God help us.
The only powerful signaling mechanism I get from you is that you're a douchebag.
OP, that is actually very true. My college publishes the statistics of alumni who are married to alumni and the rate is between 60-80%
"Given that I'm looking for a very smart well-rounded woman who is ambitious, successful, well-travelled, well-read, and has her shit together"
Lmao. As soon as you step foot on this campus, you'll realize the girls at Penn are self centered, narcissist, sociopaths. I would prefer to marry a simple state school girl over a girl at Penn any day.
I'm very aware of what I'm getting into. I went to a college which also attracted overachievers, so yes, some of these girls will fit this description. But I also think that a lot of guys are intimidated by successful driven women and like to characterize them as being "selfish" and "narcissistic" without ever getting to know them.
I actually agree with OP. I mostly prefer going to bars/nightclubs with an audience that is predominantly students (I often go to the bar/nightclub run by the SA) since that filters away a lot of uninteresting and bizarre people. It is also nice not having to deal with tattooed gorillas, i.e. most non-student males at any random nightclub.
So you really believe that the adcom of an MBA program is a valid "tool" to pre-screen whomever you're gonna marry?
Oh good lord...
She will probably wear the pants.
Your analysis is tremendously flawed. The article written by the Princeton mom cites undergrad, not grad school, as the place to meet your future spouse. There's a very good reason for this, looking at Wharton's class profile, you're looking at an environment with a relative population of women of only 42%. Not good odds to begin with. Additionally, given that the average experience of the Wharton class is 5 years, there's a solid chance that many of the women in said 42% are either married or in a committed relationship. Sure, the same could be said for the guys, but if equal numbers of men and women are married or have long term gfs/bfs, this will have an outsized effect on the minority female population. For example, assuming a 100 person class, you'd have 58 men, and 42 women, so, if 16 men and 16 women are in a committed relationship of some kind, you're resulting "single" class of 42 men and 26 women is now 38% women and 62% men. Also, don't forget that over 1/3 of the class tends to be from a different country, not exactly a positive attribute for finding someone you can settle down with.
You should probably rethink your strategy.
Your analysis of the numbers is more or less correct, although my class is more like 47% women (highest among all b-schools, thanks to new dean of admissions ankur kumar, who herself is quite attractive!) Also, you're forgetting "black october," where a lot of people who were in prior relationships realize that the chemistry between them and their classmates is too intense to ignore and dump their significant others back home.
These numbers look bad if you presuppose that the single wharton guys will all be targeting single wharton females, which is definitely false. I've had this conversation with admits and students as well as friends currently at various b-schools, and they said that a lot of the guys don't even bother going after their classmates (which pisses off the girls). At Penn the MBA guys love targeting med and law, while the sketchier ones target undergrads (smokey joe's on thursday nights anyone?). So I think I'm in a pretty good spot here.
Finally, it's quality that matters, not quantity. I mean for the sake of serious long-term dating, I would rather be in this situation than say be at a state school where it's 60% women, but so few who actually meet my criteria.
You are seriously living in fantasy land.
You went on 10 dates and only 2 of them made it to round 2? Dude, it sounds like you might be the problem. Maybe you should stop treating dates like a fucking job interview and you might find someone to give you a pity slay.
Grow the fuck up. I'm tired of these fucking posts about how great Wharton is going to be.
This.
However, he could be trolling - no one would be tool enough to put Wharton as their profile picture; then again, WSO has surprised me again and again.
^ This. You're analyzing women like they must be 10s in every way and that, for some reason, they have to cater to all of your criterion, yet you definitely seem like the problem.
This.
If you've got such stringent criteria, why don't you just hire a matchmaking service?
OR, as a newly single man, you could (i.e should) be out getting some strange as much as you can.
You broke up with gf cause she is going to a better school cause she is better and will find a better guy. Boom?
Didn't you have a gf going to hbs? Your rationale makes no sense, you had the smart and ambitious girl that was "pre-screened". Good luck with your plan. Make sure to write us a follow-up later on.
Correct. She is going to be a first-year there. The reason we broke up was because we had a fundamental disagreement on how to structure our relationship while in school. I was willing to compromise, but she was much less willing, so ultimately I did not see a future there.
She fits pretty much every criteria that I want, so it is indeed an unfortunate loss.
LOL hypocritical statement:
Brady I
Stop being a boner bro
This is really lame.
Always happy to read a new thread or post by Brady. The guy is unstoppable. Respect!
the aspergers is strong with this one
Hahahah
???
I actually think that MBA women would be a good fit for your taste. Good luck!
This wording is making me think that you wanted a more open arrangement and she didn't.
You're starting starting to come off as a bit of a chauvinist sleeze. Stop taking it all so seriously and go work on your game - you've been out of it for a while. Your female classmates aren't going to fawn over you just because you have a dick and give them some attention. They got into the same program and they have other options too. What's your value proposition?
How many of those 10 match.com women would've wanted a second date with you, anyway?
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read.
I keep writing responses and deleting them, because I am just speechless.
Great. Now I'm horny.
As a female, when you hear the phrase, "how to structure our relationship," what does that mean to you
It makes me think that the person is a square.
Stop feeding the troll, please.
You mean not all of your relationships are formally structured? Doesn't structure and routine moisten female loins?
That's what my single mother told me.
an image of Carlton Banks comes to mind...
I can't think of a worse type of woman to marry than a careerist, over-the-hill, female MBA student (that $200k in business school debt will be awesome to pay off when she drops out of the working world in three years to start a family).
You could make an argument that top-tier undergrad institutions are fantastic places to meet women (they are), but MBA programs? Come on now. You'll find better prospects in the bars surrounding campus than in any classroom in Huntsman Hall.
Sorry bro, but this post reeks of insecurity, stereotypes, and misinformation.
First, how is a female MBA student "over the hill?" Aside from the fact that b-schools are now leaning younger (especially the female students), that comment implies that female MBA students are somehow not as attractive as others or past their physical "prime." I'm not going to delve into a silly debate on whether b-school girls are "hot," but suffice it to say, I met plenty of gorgeous classy women during admit weekend. I was actually left speechless at the caliber of women I saw on thursday night pub and from just walking around huntsman hall.
Second, why are top undergrads fantastic places to meet women but top MBA programs are not? (ratio notwithstanding). Both programs attract successful people who have their shit together, albeit from a different age range.
Third, most of these women are not looking to get an MBA just so they can stop working and pop out babies. Their heroes are women such as sheryl sandberg and marissa miller, not some quaint 1950's notion of the dutiful stay-at-home mom. By marrying a classmate, I could be rest assured that I do not need to do everything for her since she will have her own job and career. Moreover, by combining our earning power, we can virtually guarantee a stable affluent upbringing for our kids. Studies have also shown that the divorce rate for well-educated couples are significantly lower than the national average. Think about that.
Your post simply repeats the worst stereotypes about women at top b-schools.
I think if a woman is taking the time to get an MBA, she will be going back into that workforce after maternity leave.
Yeah but not like this. This comes across as smarmy and narrow-minded and lazy.
HAHAHAHAHA
Good luck in the wild, Brady. I hope you find some good specimens so you can have lots of data for your experiments.
Oh good lord...
The fact that you're planning on meeting someone to marry pretty much means you won't meet anyone to marry (unless you're indian and you want to meet another indian, I've never meet a group of people who needed to get married so badly). If you're actually going into it with this mindset you're going to be so neurotic it'll scare any girl off.
Oh please. Plenty of single guys and especially women are thinking about the exact same thing as me. A few of the girls during admit weekend openly discussed meeting an eligible guy in b-school; one of them who works in PE was lamenting how she can't meet guys at bars because they're all intimidated by her educational and professional accomplishments. But in b-school, she doesn't have to worry about that since the guys are equally accomplished, if not more so.
Op is a psycho, the very type that makes girl scream n run away. Kenny speaks the truth. I'm done wiTh this thread.
I actually met my wife in b-school and I still think this post is ridiculous. There's waaaaay too much analyzing of women you're not boning.
(she did stop working after we had kids in case you're curious)
This is very cogent statistical analysis. Thou Mary Callahan did meet her husband Philip Erdoes while both were classmates at Harvard MBA. I wish the OP best of luck as he embarks upon the epic romantic journey of seeking out, falling in love and starting a family with the future CEO of JP Morgan Asset Management Division.
.
Reality 1, Brady 0.
Thank fucking god I don't work with any of these kinds of people at my job. How do you get along with anybody? How do you have any friends, let alone a girlfriend?
Deleted
Aren't you in NYC? If so, you shouldn't use anything but OKCupid. Match is for (conservative) Christians and people from the Midwest. POF is for black people, fat chicks, and Misc trolls.
Lol. I meant Marissa Mayer, the CEO of Yahoo. Wow, that was a huge brain fart on my part.
You can think whatever you want; actively planning to meet a girl to marry like you were hunting a coon trying to trap it in a tree is just fucking weird. Go take a cold shower and contemplate your life dude.
This is the second time I've snorted my yogurt after reading one of your posts.
OP, you're going about it all wrong. Just collect the DNA samples of as much potential mates as possible and have it screened to check, mainly, their Jewish heritage, that they don't have a predisposition to cancer, heart disease, or any gene mutations in general. Get a PI to check their ancestry going back a few generations, noting whether there's a pattern of criminals, sociopaths, successful businessmen etc. It's easily worth a few hundred per candidate, saves the months of dating before they start to flake out. Me personally, I'd just go to Israel to look for potential mates, much more exotic girls there and all the women serve a couple years in the IDF so that accounts for discipline. They're not fat, they're not pale, they can speak at least 3 languages, if you get lucky you'll probably find a girl who's close to finding a cure for cancer.. the list goes on.
I'm curious if this is true; the OP actually agonized over the potential (now realized) breakup with his girlfriend in another thread. My guess would be the reverse, assuming the "open arrangement" topic was the breakup cause.
In the world of monsieur 2 Chainz:
All I want for my birthday is a big booty girl
apart from they are the same age as you, which is a TERRIBLE trade for just about every guy there is.
I'm not looking for a gold digger tropy wife, so I'm not concerned about the age. The rich guys in finance who are married to dumb young trophy wives who are obviously only with them for their money is NOT what I'm trying to emulate. I'm looking for an equal partner; a sheryl sandberg/mary erdoes type is what I'm looking for.
Even on the physical front, I don't get where this whole "MBA girls are so atrocious!" meme came from. Nothing I have seen corroborates that viewpoint. There are actually very few MBA women who are overweight; they stay in great shape, take care of themselves, and dress well. I would even venture to say that the MEDIAN b-school woman is significantly more attractive than the median woman nationwide.
Oh good lord...
Go actually visit a top b-school and walk around. There are very few overweight women.
I think a lot of this is coming from men who are intimidated by successful ambitious women, and they console themselves by saying that they're over the hill and unattractive.
Would anyone here plow Marissa Mayer, or is it just me? Like I would do things that are illegal in certain states.
I'm now almost convinced that you're a troll from Jezebel.
Dude...really
All professional women are like that. "Self-centered, narcissist sociopaths" that's textbook definition of [modern] womanhood.
Let's not have 3 pages on this before the thread is locked.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure this thread is going to get locked soon anyways, just like the vast majority of Brady's past threads. Just lol.
LOL, that's our Brady for ya.
As a recent MBA graduate, I’ll take a serious stab at replying to this.
Honestly, I think that business school is a terrible environment to find a potential spouse for a number of reasons.
-MBA chicks are not very attractive for the most part. I went to an Ivy undergrad that doesn’t have a great reputation for female talent. The female MBA talent pool is a step function below that. A lot of it is due to normal effects of aging. For example, that chick who was a solid 7/8 in undergrad is likely now a 6/7 due to some work-related weight gain and some new facial wrinkles. Most people just aren’t in as good of shape at 27-30 years old as they were when they were 21. Just by virtue of being younger, law and med school women will be deemed to be more attractive than your female MBA classmates. I guarantee it.
-The imbalanced gender ratio is a significant headwind. Since you seem like a guy with high standards, you’ll find that most of the classmates that you want will be off the market. The few attractive available ones attract significant attention from literally every single guy and many of the committed/married guys. The small number of eligible women leads guys behave like relentless predators. They will use anything and everything at their disposal - money, social status, professional background, interview prep - to try to get laid. Unless you have a significant competitive advantage in something (looks, money, status, personality), you will find getting with a top-tier classmate to be difficult unless she is a skank. There were a couple of ladies in my class who had hooked up with 5+ classmates by winter break.
-Recruiting is another headwind. Almost everyone is there to find a job. For a lot of people, the job search is a messy process that is full of setbacks and disappointment. As a result, people become moody and can come off a little bipolar. This is not good for relationship health.
-The personalities that business schools attract may also be a problem. Many of your classmates will be egotistical, completely socially inept, and dishonest. To compound this ridiculousness further, people - especially those from non-targets - believe that they are in business school to develop a network. The result is a lot of socially inept people being social for the first time in their lives. The result is not pretty. A significant number also do not have any hobbies – they do not have anything to talk about aside from jobs and classes.
Well, this thread has taught me how not to live my life.
Enough time spent on WSO and you can find all sorts of tips on how not to live your life.
Do they provide reimbursement for Brazzers subscription at Wharton? Asking .... for a friend.
All that matters is that you get on with your girlfriend surely... your smorgasboard (sp?) of qualities seems totally irrelevant to me.
Also OP, you come across as completely ridiculous.
Just finished pre-term. Already having the most fun I've ever had in my life.
The jockeying for girls has already started, and we're all getting super aggressive. 2 girls who have boyfriends back home have already cheated on them with classmates. It looks like the next few months will be super interesting.
I really hope that shit like that does not excite me at your age.
It's not about age. There's a 36-year old guy in my class, ex-engineer, super cool and interesting, who is having the time of his life right now. He has a pretty well-known MBA blog and wrote a lengthy detailed post about pre-term.
Simply put, the energy and excitement are electric; I honestly can't describe it in words because I've never experienced anything like it before.
http://mbaover30.com/2013/08/08/pre-term-at-wharton/
Wow sounds like...pretty much any NYC bar.
^LOL @ Kenny
Though not with you, I assume.
So much annihilation of this guy. I love it.
You're a virgin aren't you?
Did you tell him about your overall hate for diversity candidates (if any)?
Oh man... I really wish you to find the one "ideal" woman that meets ALL of your criteria (all dozens of them) and corresponds perfectly with your analysis.
However, I'm willing to make a bet with you for ANY amount of money you want. At some point during your marriage (unfortunately I don't know when cause it depends on a wide variety of factors) you will wake up one day and realize that all your criteria and careful analysis was a load of "odorous natural excrement" (aka crap).
Searching for a woman and especially your wife isn't like going out and buying a car or a house! People don't correspond to any "certain" criteria and if they do it's more likely a façade.
People have dreams, beliefs, hidden thoughts, secrets, families that way on them, fears and so on. People also change and adapt. Heck every woman you meet will become a different person the moment you introduced yourself because she would have one more experience already.
Go meet a lot of women. RANDOMLY. Speak with them, you don't have to fuck them just to know them and learn from their experiences and way of thinking. After you have developed your EQ (emotional intelligence) and made some mistakes you will be more able to find and keep your future LIFE COMPANION & MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN.
Because this is what the word "wife" means, or should mean anyway.
Life is a messy and imprecise situation. Get used to it. Experience, learn and adapt. It is the only way.
Good Luck.
Gregory V, I really appreciate your thoughtful mature post. Thanks a lot for this.
Umm, maybe you should get out more?
duffmt6, let me ask you this. Were you excited during college freshman orientation, when you were meeting hundreds of new cool people for the first time and going to parties and events? If yes, b-school pre-term/orientation is quite similar. My class is roughly 850 of the most interesting accomplished people I've met; many of them have fascinating stories, and I'm learning so much from them. I know I sound over the top, but my classmates are equally excited, some even more so.
Dear lord I give up...
In the midst of a pathetic thread definitely refreshing to find an actual quality post, well done sir.
Brady makes wharton mbas look really pathetic. I know theyre not all like that.
I don't think he got in (last I heard) so he is likely just saying he is in to continue his fantasy...I also can't confirm that this is him since he ignored my PM to confirm that he was in the MBA program, but I think it's pretty obvious that nobody sounds this insane except for Brady.
Thanks for making Wharton people look bad...if you actually got through admissions, it is a sad sad day and I feel horrible for your learning team.
...I think it's time for me to do some research...brb
So it's changed your mind about treating finding a wife like finding a used car?
Why do you want to get married so bad anyway? Don't you want to see the world and have sex with random women? What instilled in you such a lust for structure and conformity?
Dude it's still gay to jerk off all over the internet just because you're excited. Remember that kid who was too excited freshman year? He wasn't any less off putting just because he was excited about 'cool new people'.
I was 18 as a college freshman yet somehow had way more perspective than you seem to have. College was cool, but so was fucking high school. Hell, I even had some fun in middle school. Act like you have been there.
You don't just sound over the top - you sound borderline insane. You are wishing so much for two years of business school to be the greatest two years of your life, when instead you should be evaluating why your life sucked so much before you got there.
Honestly, potentially the post of the year.
yeah, confirmed that Brady is not @ Wharton...so assuming this user is brady (pretty good assumption), he is lying.
ok, we can continue to play in fantasy land now...tell us more OP.
Patrick - you are way behind the times. New theory is that @CompBanker is actually Brady. See below:
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/brady-was-right-b-school-is-insane
:P
if I hadn't met both in person that thread would have made me slightly suspicious... :-) good to hear CB is having a great time
Interesting...
The plot thickens
A friend swears a strip club was the best place to meet your spouse.... might explain his 2 divorces and hes not even 27.
@heister LOL
Meeting Spouse at MBA? (Originally Posted: 05/03/2010)
I heard there's a decent percentage of people that meet their future spouses in Bschool. I know its something that my mom has promoted about bschool.
I'll be 25 if i enter bschool this year. Will I be younger than most of my classmates? I'm sure this affects dating - at least a little? Most of the top bschools age is 28 according to most sites.
Went to a top 20 and started when I was 26. I was indeed younger than most (but not by too much). Quite a few of my classmates ended up marrying each other. Dabbled around myself (I'm a dude, the girl was always older) but nothing serious.
if anything girls go to undergrad to get their Mrs. degree, not MBA.
i'm guessing most will be married or in a relationship already
not really piper, how many undergrads (girls or guys) are in a relationship when they graduate? my guess is no more than 20%.
For those of you in your mid-twenties, what's the youngest you would consider going out/have gone out with? Would be interesting to see if the responses differ significantly for males vs females
^^Nobody can answer that in all honesty. You just never know...
number age can be, at best, an estimate of a person's maturity in terms of appearance and personality. I've seen people in their late 20s who look younger than people in their early 20s and vice versa for personality.
if you're mid 20ish to early 30ish than you're fine.
the true dream of an MBA is to get your degree, get the high paying job, then date some truly hot chick who will appreciate all your hard work instead of marrying some stressed out fatso from your class at bschool! when you are in school, you will be competing for a limited number of girls in your class. after you graduate, the girls will be competing for you!
haha but seriously i think more than a few serious couples were established in my mba class. and there was lots of hooking up. i didn't get involved in that. but the girls were not good at my school. i am facebook friends with the kids i work with at my bb and the chicks in their classes look better than the ones in my class. anyway OP, you're not going to have a problem finding some chick at bschool.
This
I am going in married--to a girl 3 years older than me.
going in married too....
me go harvard me marry girl me big penis
A lot of hot chicks like money.
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