STD Risk Discussion
I recently came across information about HSV1 / HSV2 that has changed the way I think about the R/R of hooking up with girls. In fact, I have stopped all sexual activity outside of semi-serious dating until I can figure out what is going on. I would like your advice, particularly as it relates to receiving head.
I also acknowledge that I am being neurotic. Now that that's out of the way...
Consider the information below about HSV1 and HSV2:
- ~43% of women in their 20's are infected with HSV1
- Subtract ~15% for non-hispanic white women
- Add ~15% for others
- These are just facts; don't get triggered. See source below (CDC).
- ~13% of women in their 20's are infected with HSV2
- Add ~25% for non-hispanic blacks
- Subtract a few points for others
- Source: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db304.pdf
Now consider the following information about transmission and prognosis:
- Both HSV1 and HSV2 can be transmitted without sores present via viral shedding.
- That said, there is less risk of transmission while asymptomatic.
- Neither HSV1 nor HSV2 is even tested as part of a standard STD panel.
- That's right: girls who "got testeddd" were never tested for these viruses — the only major, incurable STDs, aside from HIV.
- They were only tested for syphilis (bacterial, curable); HIV (viral, incurable); gonorrhea (bacterial, curable); and chlamydia (bacterial, curable).
- HSV2 can be spread even while wearing a condom via skin-to-skin contact.
- While HSV1 is most commonly found on mouth and HSV2 on genitals, HSV1 can also be contracted on genitals via blowjob (known as gHSV1).
- The risk of contracting HSV2 on mouth is far less likely.
- So even if a girl has no sores and you're not even having sex — seemingly safe behavior — you can still contract a lifelong, incurable genital STD from a blowjob.
- Of course, these are viruses. There is no cure. The only available medication serves to alleviate symptoms.
- To be fair, the majority of people who contract these viruses are asymptomatic or have minimal symptoms.
I repeat, even if a girl has no sores present and you're not having sex — seemingly safe behavior — you can still contract a lifelong, incurable genital STD from a blowjob.
My concern, aside from ill health effects, is that contracting the genital version of either would make serious dating / marriage fare more difficult, worse, or impossible, at the same levels of selectiveness. I acknowledge that the risk is small — and that most infected people are asymptomatic — but the cost of getting it seems so high that I now see the EV of casual sex as negative.
I have stopped hooking up with girls so frivolously but I am still trying to control my baser impulses. Am I missing out on the finer things in life or am I making a responsible choice?
EDIT: I forgot the one loophole: if you already have (hopefully asymptomatic) HSV1 on the mouth, as many people do, you can't get it again on your genitals. So that would suggest risk free blowjobs are possible but not sex (HSV2 risk).
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
Can they be tested as part of a more rigorous panel? If so, the only "safest" way going forwards (short of abstinence) is asking for the more in-depth screening with any new potential partner before doing anything. To your last question, it is obviously a responsible choice but up to you to weigh the probabilities with practicality, especially if you want to go the "roulette" route, as alluded with your negative EV comment.
That's a good point. Thanks.
If I am having her get tested anyway, I can have her add HSV to that test.
If you "play the game" long enough, you will get it. It's just a matter of odds. I made a burner to comment on this, I contracted HSV-1 from an unprotected blowjob. My symptoms are practically non-existent I'm never in any pain.
My view is that the official statistics drastically underreport the actual situation. As you said, panels do not test for herpes unless you specifically ask. Even if you ask, the test will come back negative if you're not shedding the virus. Structurally, girls can't see theirs like you can see yours, so they're not going to pick up on mild, painless symptoms. You can see how all this leads to stats lower than the reality.
The amount of girls who will let you hit without wearing a condom because "I'm on the pill" and the guys who "don't like condoms my pullout game crazy" is astounding. Statistically you have had relations with girls who have the virus, you just didn't get it because they weren't shedding. Everyone thinks they're the main character and that it will never happen to them.
I think it's good that you're cautious about your health. Wear a condom, don't accept head from randos, and remember less is more. Beyond that not much to be done.
Thanks for sharing your story. Very helpful info and glad the symptoms aren't bad for you.
heresy
What's so terrible about getting HSV1 bro? You said it yourself there are no symptoms.
No, I said that there are sometimes no symptoms. That means there sometimes are symptoms.
he's probably a little kid and haven't faced life yet. once you get into your 30s, you'll have so many health problems naturally occurring without you doing anything wrong, that an occasional cold sore will be the least of your concerns.
Thank you for the emphasis - I likely would have been lost otherwise. I get what you are saying but there is a reason the test isn't on normal panels... it's not a big deal. Also doesn't everyone have the herps or something?
Dude, you probably already have HSV from making out with someone. It's a nothingburger, they dont even test for it on STD screens for that very reason and if you bring up that you have HPV to a care provider and are concerned they will literally laugh
Congrats on the lack of sex though I guess
Yeah I mean you can literally get herpes from your grandma kissing you when you’re a little kid haha. Also when I get tested, I get tested for herpes… what’s up with OP?
The exception is that HSV2 can cause severe disease and permanent damage to newborns if the mother has an outbreak and transmits it during childbirth. Doctors have to watch for it and do a c-section if necessary. It's unusual, but not extremely rare.
There's also an ongoing debate about whether HSV contributes to neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s, late in life. Unlike the risk to newborns, this isn't proven.
Used to work in the medical field (not as a clinician but saw clinicians handle STD cases everyday) and this isn't entirely true. HPV diagnosis does increase risk for certain types of cancers. Some patients (rightfully so) get pissed off at the fact that some facilities do not run the HPV test and they had exposure to it.
OP I would probably go to an urgent care to get a STD test / reach out to your PCP to get it done (if you have one). Don't look for (medical) advice on WSO lol.
If you’ve been having a lot of sex or kissing, it is very likely that you have several forms of Herpes Simplex already.
It can be transmitted to children during pregnancy too, which means if yo mama’s been around town…
OP, I think you’re worrying about an innocence you’ve likely already lost.
The way I read it: half of population has it and it transmits very easily (skin to skin without sores) so there is no way to avoid it, thus you have a choice:
1) be an incel
2) get it.
In (1) your life is a waste.
In (2) you might have an occasional cold sore once a year when your immune system is weak, and that's it.
Make your choice. For me the choice is obvious. And yes, and have HSV 1 and 2 and they don't bother me, just occasional cold sore - take acyclovir at the start and it'll be gone in a couple of days.
It's the same with covid btw. You either have to exclude yourself from society completely or just live normally and you'll get it and have a cough for a week occasionally.
Its actually 13% on HSV2 - just adding more accuracy lol
Dude, there are only two STDs that can ruin your life: HIV and Kids. There's a pill that you can go on to reduce your HIV risk to a level statistically lower than being struck by lightning,* not getting the other one requires some trust, or a few other things. Everything else is essentially curable and totally worth the risk as long as you're not going around raw-dogging prostitutes every weekend. Live a little, bro. I mean, I amazingly dodged everything for 15 years and a few hundred partners, before getting Syphilis from that threesome with the flight attendant in Philly. (7/10, would do again, even though where the nurse jabbed me in the @ss hurt for like a week)
*It's called PrEP. There are two options: Truvada (which you can now get generic for) and Descovy. I have yet to read any convincing argument for going for Descovy, it seems to just be designed to get Gilead more money.
Few hundred? Wasn't aware Charlie Sheen was in the chat bro
Pre-PrEP era: Wrap it up religiously. God, I wish that came out a decade sooner.
How old are u ? 1984 birthdate ? If so few 100 ie 400-500? Seems solid but reasonable
Pretty sure they have cured HIV, having kids on the other hand...I heard the supreme court just made harder to cure.
Remember to double layer those work toilet seats!
Getting Genital Herpes from Oral Herpes & Vice Versa | STD Check
i get no play anyways so I don't have to worry about this
I found the whole throat cancer and oral sex link kinda wild, definitely something to consider.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/throat-cancer-symptoms-oral-s…
I am a late 20s male who has HPV. Found out from getting genital warts and doing research and seeing a urologist. It seems there is an increased risk for certain cancers if you have HPV genital warts, but the studies don't always appear concrete. Just my observation. Does make me nervous knowing a virus is lurking inside and (likely) causing cancer years from now. Anyone else have this?
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