Turning 40 … new perspectives
Hi Wall Street Oasis,
I’ll be turning 40 this year. As a long time member of the forum, I want to share my change in perspective. And see if anyone here feels me.
How I feel now … forget 1M pay outs, prestige’s overrated, add value, be happy. When I first visited this forum back in college, I was convinced of Goldman or bust. Posts about BB, then MBA, then PM for that multi-million pay day inspired me every day. Today, I look back and I just don’t have those dreams anymore.
I want to believe I made it out decent, good track record as a sell-side trader, 500k to 750k comp each year, but probably won’t make MD. And you know what, for once in my life, I can peacefully say that I’m ok. I don’t need that 4,000 sqft apartment, 2,000 is just fine. I don’t need that Ferrari, a 5 series is good.
I attribute this shift from crazy ambition to contentment as a VP to a few things: being realistic with my career trajectory, change in priorities and most importantly … time is short.
It finally hit me. 40 onwards and happiness should now be the goal. This happiness is not found in corporate setting in which one gets immediate respect by his company and rank. For me, this happiness is found with friends and family at a nice bar, listening to music. This happiness is meeting with people, adding value to their lives.
Yes money helps but most should agree that you don’t need 1M annual to meet a happiness goal, 500k probably works.
I’ll be a fool to not pursue this happiness. Anyone feel me?
- Nijikon
If you're making 500k-750k/yr how would you not be able to easily afford a Ferrari?
Just because you have that wealth doesn't mean you would want / feel the need for a Ferrari.
Yah I agree some other person said the same. He told someone 10x more ambitious see you on the other side of 30 kid.
I turned 32 today (Jan 1 bday) and I totally see life now as (Marginal Value + Happiness From Effort divided by Pain + Time + Mental Peace)
I came to a similar realization around my 30th birthday OP. But I understand why people may have loftier financial goals. I've also grown to realize that I much prefer a more quiet life / behind the scenes vs. many friends / peers I know.
Don't undersell your success though. 500-750K at 40 is phenomenal. I hope it affords you the happiness you're looking for.
All the best for those with loftier financial goals. I would sit down and wonder when Ken Griffin have a billion net worth from Citadel, he didn't say lemme retire and do what he likes. No, he said lemme take down the broker dealers by starting Citadel Securities. Hah
I used to think I was cut from that cloth. Turning 40 I realized I'm not. The good thing is that I'm ok with that. There's another 10 things I would WANT do than to spend 3 hours cracking my head on another StatArb pair to inch out that addition 5% of Budget PNL to get that $50k bonus.
Thanks for the responses. I wanted to share a bit more
These thoughts arise from my axiom that the age window during which I can best capitalize on life is ... 38 to 44
Before 38, we're accumulating cash, experience, a track record, respect and valuable skills
After 44, we naturally lose that youthful virility and plasticity of the mind to do new things
Before, getting the cash and rank is the end goal; the THING to get. I kid you not, half a decade ago I would write a dream bio which I would work towards: "Founder of 5B Macro Fund with experience working in GS and Citadel. Best Performing Fund in 2028"
Now, I don't even think about it. And it would seem that the "happiness, contentment" from getting that MD, PM, HF founder title is pale in comparison to the real contentment from DJing an amazing set that people enjoy, organising a dinner party with a night of laughs that everyone remembers, or heck coaching a high school basketball team. If I don't do these things now in what I consider the only time in life to do them, I won't ever
Thank you for sharing—your perspective is refreshing. I recently entered my late 30s, and with a similar income bracket and title, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what the next decade might look like. I’ve concluded that I have another five-year push in me, after which I’ll reassess. Realistically, that push may stretch to 10 years, given my responsibilities as a husband and father of several kids.
The journey has been enjoyable overall, though the compensation feels underwhelming considering the personal sacrifices I’ve made over the past 15 years. While the work remains interesting to a degree, I’ve kept things fresh by pivoting slightly every few years. These days, I find the people I work with—and the clients I serve—more engaging than the work itself. Building meaningful connections and delivering high-value service bring me more satisfaction than the tasks at hand.
My focus now is on balance—being present 80% of the time and fully engaged with my family when I’m home. If I’m not at or near an MD, Head of, or Partner position by my early-to-mid 40s, I’ll be ready to step off the hamster wheel. Perhaps I won’t leave the industry entirely, but I’ll walk away from the endless grind and the false promise of wealth that this career often dangles.
Thank you! Lots you said, resonates with me.
Yup. I admit, the technical aspects of the work - trading strategy, algo optimization, price discovery - doesn't interests me that much anymore. I do the work when duty calls, but the truth is, it's trying to peruse the same alpha model on the same asset class for 16 years. (Yup, I'm trading the same product since graduation). So I try to find different kinds of work which I find more enjoyable and fulfilling, which as mentioned, is serving clients and nurturing the younger talent.
And there lies the conundrum - if I wake up the next morning Head of Desk leading 5 traders, I believe I'll get a renewed sense of mission. But that isn't happening; so limited seats, there's a pecking order. So I rather put in my hours in the office, make budget and find more meaning outside the office.
I agree with your take fully; it's a difficult message to make resonate with anyone in their early 20s, but I realised it around 30 (it was a gradual realisation, but became rapid once I became aware of it). Maybe a couple of points to add:
1) I stopped caring about prestige. I had cared about this at university / recent graduate, and was measuring a lot of my self-worth by some perceived prestige rating attached to the role. The key takeaway was that nobody I cared about cared about the prestige of my job - even among people outside that circle, basically nobody spends any time thinking about me anyway. And it wasn't providing me any direct utility. What was the point in chasing it?
2) Finance. This is a weird one as everyone comes from different starting points. For me what was important was removing financial insecurity, and by my measure I'd achieved that in my late 20s. There's quite a bit of academic research on the relationship between money and happiness, and it doesn't seem to matter beyond a certain point (below that point, distress over being able to pay bills, etc., does indeed impact happiness understandably). There are absolutely things I want to buy (e.g. the proverbial Ferrari), but as OP says, life is too short to make this the priority.
3) People and experiences. With a bit of life experience, I realised that those memories I really looked back on and made me happy were not those where I'd blown a lot of money. But those walks in the woods with my wife, having a beer with good friends, or even some of my dumb solo travelling as a student when I stayed in budget hostels. Tied to this and perhaps most related, I decided by my late 20s that I was sure I wanted to marry my then-girlfriend and start a family someday - that does enormous things to re-focus your mental priorities (left unanswered is the question of what would've happened to my priorities if she'd said "no" but that fortunately wasn't the case!).
One key realisation to wrap this - it comes with experience and I don't think there's another way to learn it. Once you have summited that elusive peak which you imagined would bring you happiness, there are ALWAYS more peaks to summit. Instead, enjoy the view.
"Enjoying the view" is so critical. I also agree that you have to experience this to appreciate it. Nothing wrong with ( actually a lot right with) being full of piss and vinegar when you're just starting out. In fact I think you need that to get off to a good start. That's about you. I say that because you'll quickly lean that (generally) nobody cares about your job, your role, your company, your comp. Why would they? That's a "you" thing. And you need that juice to grind it out. What others care about is you the person. Are you fun to hang with? Are you reliable? Are you engaged (with them)?
What you'll find over time is life happens. You telling someone you made VP or MD or whatever at Goldman falls eerily silent because they don't know what it means and are busy with their own lives. Are you fun to watch that little league game with is far more important to them.
Do you want/do you have a wife and kids?
For high cost of living areas (NY, etc.) I’m not sure that $500k to $750k per year is enough, especially with a moderately sized family. Hope OP has invested well. Personally, I need the grind to find downtime satisfying. My mind’s just always active, and I need the structure. That’s just my opinion though, take it for what it’s worth.
do you know how many people have families in nyc, make less than 500k, and live happy lives? $750k per year is a .01% outcome, I can’t imagine not being able to have a family while making anything less than that
Yeah you’re right. With kids in a HCOL area, you need to be making at least an extra $1M per kid.
@Gecko you must be delusional..
this is one of the most out of touch things I've read in a while.
This is great perspective man. I'm now nearing 30 and feeling like I'm directionally trending towards what you've ended up at around 40. I used to want to own my own LO AM with $10bl AUM in a single global strategy aiming for absolute outperformance....
Now I still want to go out on my own, but I'm happy even doing it with a $5-10ml PA. And managing that the way I want to, spending my days the way I want to, and even maybe doing a part-time professorship on the side.
Esp now with a serious girlfriend who I think I will one day marry, it drives home that there is satisfaction in a holistic life that you just don't obtain constantly searching for the next title or whatever. Obvioulsy lot to think about but this was good stuff
Our jobs will not be our source of fulfillment and purpose in life. E.g. nobody says “I wish I worked more” on their death bed.
Instead it’s your relationships, family, and impact on other people and your community that will bring you joy.
Happiness plateaus at a certain income level on average (finance people tend to be above this). Do you think people on Wall Street are happier than the average person? Probably not.
GPT response; money won’t buy happiness, but having however much you need to actualize the life you want sure won’t deny it. I’ve always been unhappiest when I knew I haven’t pursued my aspirations to the fullest. To each their own I suppose.
Yeah if finance or another high paying job is your passion, you should pursue it. 100%. The point that I was trying to make was that a lot of people pursue finance or similar careers and are not passionate about it and I don’t know if that’s how people should live life. Cheers
Good insight. Thank you for sharing.
Life is so much more than this career
Congratulations, I'd agree you definitely made it out well if you can say you were consistently collecting $500-750k a yr (esp if it wasn't deferred)! I don't think many VPs (even Directors) could say the same.
The difference between $750k and $1m is small and not worth the incremental effort esp in banking. However e.g. $10m is hugely different - it's lifetime security for you and your children and freedom from 'employment'.
Having said that, it's really important to be grateful and learn to live with a reasonable salary. If you rely on earning an inflated salary than that a year and you have inflated your lifestyle, it will bring a lot of unnecessary stress when you're older and you'll miss the joys of life.
I just want to be injury-free and pain-free man :-(
This is a cool post.
It's been repeated throughout the thread but I think it's worth reiterating that the "prestige" you once sought means nothing to 99% of other people. The one percent that do care are the people that work next to you.
...And once you learn that people don't treat you all that much different (or if they do, they are most likely people you don't want in your life), you start to question what's really important---trying to impress people that don't matter, or trying to be present for the people that do matter?
For most intellectuals and/or people that are secure with themselves, "fake" love and adoration means nothing.
Personally, I'm happy that I have my wife and two kids. As long as they are good, I'm great. It really gets no better than having a healthy family, a stress-free home life, and sleeping well at night. I leave all of the drama to the other people that haven't figured it out yet.
Peace be with you all,
amen bro, you know the meaning of enough, that's more than most
If you don’t mind, could I pm you about your career in quant finance?
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