Growing up sucks
Seeing this girl, we were joking around about when all the girls were going crazy about the Twilight saga and decided to re-watch it together.
Watching the movie triggered this rush of memories for me: the last time I saw it was 10 years ago, the summer before college. I was into rowing and dating this girl at my club who was really into Twilight; she made me watch all the movies before we went to watch the latest one at the cinema.
All I remember about that summer is waking up most mornings and getting out on the water, having breakfast at her house after, putting in a few hours at my chill part time retail job, going to the beach, sneaking BJs on the couch in her parent's basement, spending time with friends and family, just enjoying the sunshine and really living life. After some serious thought, I don't think I've ever been properly happy like that since.
Sure, there still good times, and there's nothing about my life I can claim as unfortunate, but it just feels like every year on average gets worse. I don't think I need to spell it out for anyone here: the pressure starts in college, picks up when we start working and doesn't ever really let off. Even time off (which doesn't always translate to actual time without work) is punctuated by a looming feeling that it's only temporary, or at the very least that you should be doing something productive. On top of that, the physical degeneration is real: even little things like having to watch what you eat to stay in shape (I ate so much fast food that summer and still had abs, like God damn).
I can't help but wonder what we're all desperately fighting for: bigger paychecks are great and all, but unless they're big enough to grant a very early retirement, they're never going to be able to bring back the way I felt that summer.
Not a hot take, or a productive read, but maybe someone can relate.