Hooked up with the wrong person


So I've been thinking about this for a while now and kinda wanted to get your opinion on this. I was a SA at a top BB last summer and wanted to go FT at EB(EVR, LAZ, PJT) so I didn't care about anything and ended up hooking up with an Associate from a different group. Turns out I didn't get into EB and received FT from my BB and now I am about to start this fall. I don't know how to handle the awkwardness especially after that Associate added me on LinkedIn 2 weeks ago. We are not in the same group but I think I'll be seeing him once we go back to the office.

PS. We both are guys and straight (at least I am) and I have a girlfriend and I don't know what to do about this whole situation.

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  • CEO in Other
May 15, 2020 - 3:34am

oh no

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  • 1
May 9, 2020 - 10:56am

Someone took the advice to play the "LGBT+ card" a bit too seriously.

Appreciate the dedication and commitment, tho.

"If it is on WSO, it must be true" ~ old Jewish proverb.

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  • Prospect in IB-M&A
May 9, 2020 - 3:14pm

I think we're all thinking it, but nobody has explicitly asked... I'm sure it was a new experience for you. I'm straight, and not homophobic, so I've certainly been curious:

What did it feel like when you tried to sit down the next morning?

May 10, 2020 - 4:59am
Analyst 1 in IB-M&A:

How are you straight if you hooked up with a dude?

You've made my day!!!

  • Prospect in IB - Gen
May 9, 2020 - 2:32am

Dude it's more common than you think and just pretend nothing happened at least that's what HR told me

  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 9, 2020 - 9:38am

"at least that's what hr told me" wtf ahhahahah

May 9, 2020 - 2:39am

I think the other guy should give you a silver banana.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1-800-273-8255

  • 16
May 9, 2020 - 2:42am

its not gay if you have your socks on

seriously just be cool about it. You would not believe how many people have hooked up in your office/friend groups/social circles that you would never have guessed; people are good at covering things up. We've all made some questionable decisions while drunk - it's totally normal if you both pretend its normal. I've personally hooked up with 2 of my friends in my closest circle while drunk and hooked up with a professor at my college before I was accepted (never had class but ran into them at a social function) and nobody knows anything about anything

May 9, 2020 - 2:45am

I thought I can keep this a secret but he just added me on LinkedIn. He may like me so I hope he makes VP soon so I can milk him for better deals and promotion. Also, I'm pretty sure he had a sock on but I was too drunk to remember.

May 9, 2020 - 2:49am

honestly just don't worry about it - you're probably fine. If he does become VP, it will be good for your career. However, don't piss him off or offend him - that could be bad for your career. You can't change the past, just be chill about things now and don't worry too much.

May 9, 2020 - 3:15am

I would advise against telling your girl - if you hooked up with a girl you're best to avoid telling her about it imo, with a guy its 10x worse because people still have terrible stigma against bisexuality (not saying you are) but there's still so many girls who think any guy who has hooked up with a guy are 100% gay and not straight. Most girls aren't cool with it, they think you're gay, and might want to break up. So be cautious and smart.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
May 9, 2020 - 10:01am

for the first time EVER, you are dropping solid knowledge and wisdom while also mentioning getting fucked in the ass.

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
May 9, 2020 - 5:43am

First I thought you are a dude hooked up with a female associate,..

Then read this sentence "I think I'll be seeing him once we go back to the office" I thought ohhh so you're a female intern...

And then this sentence "We both are guys and straight (at least I am)"...what the fuck lolololol

  • Summer Associate in IB - Cov
May 9, 2020 - 4:20pm

I'm so confused. I can't tell if people are joking here.

May 9, 2020 - 10:08am

PS. We both are guys and straight (at least I am) and I have a girlfriend and I don't know what to do about this whole situation.

They had us in the 1st half, not gonna lie

"They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fuckin' smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby!" - Boiler Room

  • 8
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
May 9, 2020 - 10:30am

Look I'm sorry but if you're attracted to other men in the slightest and then acted on it, you must tell your girlfriend. What someone said earlier about girls not being cool with it is true, but you might be surprised. My situation is the reverse and it's always been better to be honest than have people find out from someone else (worst case).
P.S. straight people don't have sex with the same sex. They almost always stay in the top region lol. Might want to reconsider your definition of "straight"

May 12, 2020 - 3:31pm
Analyst 1 in IB - Gen:

P.S. straight people don't have sex with the same sex. They almost always stay in the top region lol. Might want to reconsider your definition of "straight"

Might want to upgrade your understanding of human sexuality to v.2020

May 9, 2020 - 12:18pm

The Associate said he "isn't active" on social media and WSO so I am hoping he doesn't see this. Also, I didn't mention which bank I was at, it could be either one- JPM, GS, or MS so I should be fine

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
May 9, 2020 - 2:13pm

what in the whole fuck...between the story, the replies, everything. Not knocking you but in what world would you just hook up with a guy if you're straight. Also, is hooking up with dudes a normal thing (this thread kinda makes it seem that way)?? What is going on hahah

May 9, 2020 - 2:23pm

How do you think the non-targets manage to sneak their way into IB?

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  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
May 9, 2020 - 2:25pm

It's not that it is common to hook up with dudes but this type of office hook ups happens all the time at most places. The funny thing about this post is the fact that it was between an intern(guy) and an Associate(guy) which also happens but no one knows/suppose to know about it.

  • Prospect in IB - Gen
May 9, 2020 - 2:29pm

It's more common than you think. You never had an MD/VP ask you stay late night to "work" on a deal during your intern days ?

  • Prospect in Other
May 9, 2020 - 3:48pm

someone's jealous they didn't get a decent bid

  • Prospect in 
May 9, 2020 - 3:08pm

For all the gays out there in banking.

Do you guys use Grindr to sleep with guys in other divisions of the banks? and do you not find it awkward if one blocks you and you have to work with them?

does the app even work in most offices? Would you advise against using it? it is like the only way I meet people because I am not out

are the LGBT network just another way to meet many peeps and sleep around like in uni.

Also an incoming intern, how do i strike a balance between making a max out of grindr and doing good work.

TBH sex is kinda my drug. so do analyst work so much that they dont have a regular sex life?

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
May 9, 2020 - 3:13pm

Also, this isn't necessarily a serious gay Q&A. Everyone is just having fun at the kids' expense and joking. If you have serious questions about gay hookups at your bank you might wanna start a new thread or discuss with your ERG.

May 9, 2020 - 5:06pm

PS. We both are guys and straight (at least I am) and I have a girlfriend and I don't know what to do about this whole situation.

That hilarious af. It's time to go see a doctor my friend.
  • 1
May 9, 2020 - 8:03pm

Dude, I sucked my cousin's dick when I was younger. No big deal. We're as normal as can be, don't even talk about it during the holidays.

"Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes." -U.S. Navy General Farragut
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  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 10, 2020 - 2:11pm

Dude, I sucked my cousin's dick when I was younger. No big deal. We're as normal as can be, don't even talk about it during the holidays.

Yo wtf is happening to this website? I can no longer tell the blurred line between sarcasm and reality... We really are in a recession lol

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
May 9, 2020 - 11:06pm

His face prolly looked like a glazed donut if that Associate did a good job!

  • Associate 2 in CorpDev
May 10, 2020 - 7:34am

OP now that you've succeeded with a lowly associate you're ready to up your game and try it with the MDs! Good luck

  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 10, 2020 - 2:15pm

Yeah dude, both of you most certainly are not "straight". No one accidentally hooks up with a dude themselves unless there is some underlying homosexuality within. Straight up.

I suggest you seek professional help because you are bi at best which is no problem, I just think you need a real outlet other than WSO. This is me being honest, and being from LA so I have seen your kind a lot. It's doing you, your gf, your family, and friends no good if you are deep in the closet and think that this situation is normal. What you did is not heterosexual behavior. Please seek the right outlet and I can 100% say WSO is not it.

However, I'm 85% convinced this is a troll attempt, so job incredibly well done here.

  • CEO in Other
May 10, 2020 - 11:31pm


  • 3
May 11, 2020 - 5:11pm

I hadn't visited WSO in ages (a little too old, first made my username over a decade ago).

I missed this kind of trolling.

The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.
  • 1
May 12, 2020 - 2:31pm

I just realized something. you did this last summer and are posting about it...9 months later? I have several questions

  1. what did you end up telling your girlfriend, if anything
  2. has this proven to be a one time thing or did you enjoy it so much you've gone back to the well
  3. who was top (v important)

if this is a troll, 10/10.

if this is not a troll, don't sweat it. I had 2 friends mess around with the same sex in/after college after having exclusively hetero relationships. one is back to being hetero (after a weird marriage to the same sex) and the other now has a higher same sex body count (likely was gay all along). both are happy, so I guess what I'm saying is, whatever makes you happy, do it.

May 13, 2020 - 4:10pm

Well this certainly changes how I will read future posts regarding BB....
Jokes aside if your seriously seeking guidance I would consider all the work it took to get to this opportunity, and try to move pass it. If you both really are attracted to women and somehow really just made mistakes then it shouldn't really matter. Hopefully he is as concerned about this as you are about it. I would absolutely address the subject before your working together to make sure your on the same page. If he isn't on the same page that doesn't make him a sexual predator you just have to tell him where you stand.

If your on the fence that certainly will thicken the plot, but regardless avoidance isn't going to make this go away., If your that worried have a couple of drinks before you make the call to discuss, apparently that really helps you relax....j/k..... There's no section in the U4 to report bicurious encounters, so keep it professional and carry on.

May 14, 2020 - 10:52pm

your gf: you cheated on me with my slutty gf didn't you?
you: no
your gf: how else can you explain the HIV?
you: my associate, Dan
your gf: oh....

May 15, 2020 - 2:26pm

Listen Joe, do not sweat it for a second longer. Most of your wallstreet colleagues, associates, drinking buddies, and the folks responding here are likely gay. How else would you describe the constant, daily anal pounding ya'll receive during work hours?

May 16, 2020 - 7:21am

WTF? You were straight, and hooked up with a guy, and now are facing an awkward work hookup conundrum? I have been there with a chick before but jesus in the slight chance this isn't a troll, I would just say cruise and grind status quo on the work, not the bro, and gtfo so you can leave this nightmarish scenario

  • 1
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 22, 2020 - 4:45pm

And then guys on here wonder why girls aren't interested in them or in a long-term relationship...I don't think any decent woman is going to want you now ... Yuck!

Oct 23, 2020 - 4:18am

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  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Nov 26, 2020 - 12:41am

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  • Intern in IB-M&A
Dec 2, 2020 - 1:44pm

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2020 Update: recounting my experiences in PE and sharing thoughts on recent deals at https://leverup.substack.com
Jun 2, 2021 - 8:26am

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