Intern Horror Stories

Share the worst task you had to do as a summer intern, or most tedious work you assigned to a summer intern...

Example:
- Manually scanning a 300 page investment consideration deck, page by page, because graphics was too busy

Comments (69)

Aug 9, 2017

To kick it off, when I was an intern I had to help deliver ~50 PIBs to a local client and the combined stack must have weighed ~80lbs. My back was hurting for weeks after - dumping the stack into an uber - then taking it out of the uber - then walking a block - then moving it around the client office... terrible

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Aug 9, 2017

you're supposed to lift with your legs. deadlift more fam

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Aug 25, 2017
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Aug 9, 2017

Not much - true cube monkey

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Aug 10, 2017

Confidential memorandum came in and it was locked up and my SA told me we did not have a pdf export subscription had to manually create there 5 year financial statements. Turns out we had the subscription the whole time he just wanted to mess with me.

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Aug 11, 2017

What an idiot.

Aug 10, 2017

Sounds like you are a pussy

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Aug 10, 2017

How does that make me a pussy. It was just tedious and I was young and naive. Never said i was miserable. Tough guy behind the keyboard in YungMonc

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Aug 9, 2017

I got off the elevator on my floor and there was a young kid looking all lost so I thought he was one of the new interns. Gave him 50 bucks and said get us coffee for the group. Kid took it got on the elevator and didn't come back, turns out he got out on the wrong floor and was actually a SA for another firm which I saw him later in the entrance of the building. Stared him down to make it awkward haha.

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Aug 9, 2017

He rekt you

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Aug 9, 2017

Haha I didn't check myself first. Therefore I rekt myself.

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Aug 9, 2017

you didn't ask for the 50 bucks back???

Aug 9, 2017

Only fifty bucks man.

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Aug 9, 2017

Had an intern come in for an interview for FT offer. Kid 1) told me the internship sucks 2) asked me if I was the receptionist (I just happened to meet him as he was walking in and I was walking out and said hello).
Didn't get the job.

Aug 9, 2017

I know a Director who convinces/compels the most attractive female SAs into sleeping with him. Pretty fucked up, not sure how he hasn't been reported to HR yet after doing this for years.

Aug 9, 2017

does he atleast give them return offers???

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Aug 9, 2017

Some yes, some no. There's an associate in a coverage group I see all the time who apparently came back for more during her analyst years, but a lot of them don't come back FT for various reasons.

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Best Response
Aug 10, 2017

Not gonna lie, if you're pretty certain about it, then you should straight up tell someone. That's a huge ethical issue...

Women already have poor representation in IB.

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Aug 9, 2017

Agreed - sounds like a total slimeball.

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Aug 10, 2017

Blackmail the dude

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Aug 9, 2017

Yeah it's very fucked up. But I don't have direct knowledge of the situation; more water cooler type stuff and rumors. Guy has always been nice to me, and I've never caught him in the act or anything.

Not sure what reporting rumors could do about the issue except get me caught up in a huge HR/compliance mess and get me branded as an untrustworthy snake and snitch. My group is tight, and it's not like I need any scrutiny from HR anyways.

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Aug 10, 2017

Was it Harvey Weinstein

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Aug 10, 2017

One day the MD at a MM bank where I was interning at came up to me around 9 PM and asked me if I had my drivers license. I said "yes", to which he replied: good. report here at 6AM tomorrow. Whole floor started laughing and I taught it was a joke. To be cautionaus I still went there. Met the MD there with his BMW 7 series, telling me he found my response the night before very weird, because being his chauffeur would be a great learning opportunity.

Anyways: had to drive him to an appointment 3 hours away. When I dropped him off, I was thinking I could join (because it was going to be a good learning opportunity), but I had to wait there for 4 hours in the sun at 100 degrees in suit and tie. Almost died out there lol. When going back, he told me to turn on the radio and connect his phone. He then proceeded to listen to extremely loud hardcore. Returned at the office around 1600. Because I had some deadlines I had to keep working to around 4AM.

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Aug 9, 2017

That might take the cake - sounds terrible.

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Aug 10, 2017

Working until four after being drained from the heat is just cruel. +1 SB for your misery

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Aug 10, 2017

Had to manually type 500 business cards into excel, with names, addresses, phone numbers, and firm name.

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Aug 10, 2017

I was hired to do that and send out and letter for the whole summer last year.. Hated my life for that whole summer one of the most Terrible internship I have done!

Oct 10, 2017

What??!! WTF for?
By the way, there are apps that will scan a business card and convert it to text. For the next poor soul charged with such a terrible task.

Aug 10, 2017

Worked 60 hours the July fourth weekend (Saturday-Monday) on an offering, deal died next day. Worst week ever

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Aug 9, 2017

Lol - classic intern experience.

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Aug 11, 2017

The firm I worked for sent hand written birthday cards to every single customer. They gave me a pen and 2000 empty cards and ordered me to write the same damn text on all of them. After I was done with about 2/3 of them, the boss realized that he gave me an outdated text , so I had to start again from 0.

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Aug 12, 2017

Where the hell do you find those kinds of firms? I cannot think of a place I've ever worked at which would make anyone do that kind of work...

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Aug 11, 2017

An intern of mine partied hard one Thursday night and decided to sleep over at the office as he lived out of town. He overslept and was woken up by a support staff and some clients. He immediately jumped up and offered coffee to the clients.

The clients, impressed as they thought he pulled an all-nighter, talked to the MD about this. Later, the MD mentioned this in the office and literally couldn't stop laughing.

Good times. Fantastic intern, reasonably nice MD, that one...

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Aug 9, 2017

This is epic

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Aug 11, 2017

Was staffed on a live sell-side M&A deal. The client wanted to sell off a chunk of their European business. The problem was, the European business they wanted to sell off didn't have consolidated financial statements - every one of the 600+ pieces of the business had its own statements. We received them in KML format. As in Google Earth. As in, every location of the business was marked on a map, and all of its cash flows/income statement/balance sheet were stored in the comments in each pin on the map. You can guess whose job it was to go through Google Earth and manually pull out the data for each individual location and consolidate them together.

This task would have been bad enough on its own, without the two additional caveats:
1) I got this dropped on my desk at 9am Friday morning. The MD wanted the model done for Sunday evening, so the associate wanted the consolidated statements done for Saturday night.

2) Our firm's computers just couldn't handle Google Earth. So after every location, Google Earth would crash and have to be restarted.

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Oct 11, 2017

sick dude.

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Aug 12, 2017

Worst task I have seen an intern doing was to manually black line customer contracts before uploading to VDR. I mean this poor guy had to go through thousands of pages and shade customer logos and any potential reference to customer names. He quit after 2 weeks his internship started.

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Aug 10, 2017

Ive had to go through blacked out lists, upload them and open with Adobe, then decode the lists to pull the "confidential" client information (Pro tip: even sharpies don't properly black out the font). Needless to say, I had a headache for a long time that day.

Aug 14, 2017

Bind 100 books by hand using machines from the 1990s

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Aug 15, 2017

This is funny, because using the binding machine isn't very unusual. More like a rite of passage.

Aug 16, 2017

Very true. I'm sure they specifically source the oldest and most painful equipment for this too. Having spent entire weekends binding management presentations with hundreds of dividers at my first bank, when I moved to my second bank which had a 24 hour print room, you realise that the equipment to fully automate this certainly exists...

It's all part of being an intern / junior analyst that provides you with an unrivalled skillset...

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Aug 21, 2017

.

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Aug 17, 2017

Was interviewing at a superday for a DCM SA position at a global BB and the interviewer asked me to give him the PV of a bond right there with barely any details...was about $50 off. No offer.

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Aug 9, 2017

Sounds like you dodged a bullet - that guy sounds like a prick.

Aug 17, 2017

He said "don't worry I won't hold that against you", but I rocked every other interview so it seems he did.

Aug 17, 2017

When you are a beginner, there should be no impossible tasks for you. Nothing wrong with that. When I worked in the office of the gas company, we were sent to the filling stations for control of workers for 24 hours. Yes, sleeping on a chair outdoors is not the most enjoyable occupation, but no one complained.

Oct 10, 2017

.

Dayman?

Oct 10, 2017

Once had to take manual screenshots of all VDR files because they weren't available for download...

Total of around 3,000 pages. Legal was a bitch.

Oct 10, 2017

Putting up the office Christmas tree when I had been fairly new in my first year. 15 foot tall tree multiple parts and way too many lights to be doing that shit by myself.

Oct 10, 2017

Going through a client's user data in the most poorly put together spreadsheet I've ever seen. Around 10,000 lines and each line needed to be edited/typed/formatted. I felt my life flashed before my eyes several times working on that (a few weeks ago).

Oct 14, 2017

I had to take 100 envelopes of certified mail to the post office. I took them an hour and a half to process all of the mail, shouts out to USPS.

Oct 14, 2017

Maybe not worst but interesting nonetheless. Associate pulled me into office and asked if I could look for the cheapest source of a specific model and year of a die-cast dump truck that would go on top of a deal toy. The truck had to be a part of the company's fleet, which was fairly limited (this was a utility servicing company). I could not find a cheaper truck anywhere (at least at the proper scale and from a reputable dealer) so I decided to call hobby stores directly to try to big-dick impromptu quantity discounts on the toy trucks (they are fairly expensive). Trying to explain the purpose of the trucks and the reason for needing so many to the owners was hilarious and I ended up getting the discounts. Definitely a fun day. Not sure if this is standard procedure or if the associate is just a quirky guy.

Oct 15, 2017

Finished work at 2.15am one day, have to be in the office at 8am the next morning cause another office is going to send some books to print and bind. Get there, wait a while until they actually send them. Turns out it's three books, 25 copies of each.
Once I finish, I get a call saying to stop printing as they received further comments on two of the books. In the end, ended up printing and binding over 100 pitch books that morning.

Oct 15, 2017
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Aug 12, 2018
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Jun 8, 2019
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