Is college supposed to be this unenjoyable?

So I recently started college at a target university - albeit one that’s known for excessively intense academics - and so far I’ve been extremely let down by the experience. I was quite surprised to learn that the people here, the university’s highly selective admissions notwithstanding, are incredibly uninspiring, and in some cases downright embarrassing: it’s hard not to despise many of them. The campus itself is total garbage too; maybe my expectations were unreasonable, but coming from a garbage rural high school, I expected something a little more august and self-respecting. On the contrary, the buildings are derelict and in many instances crumbling. Crime is rampant. The professors are nothing like the teachers in high school; instead of being passionate about rigorous pedagogy or spreading the joy of their subject, they’re mostly grandstanding, crotchety boomers struggling with rootlessness in a world that’s clearly left them behind along with whatever paltry work, if any, that they’ve contributed. Club officers are mostly sycophantic hacks, as are the sheep clamoring to join them like peasants begging for Mao badges. Maybe I’m just struggling to find my true “group,” or maybe it’s just that the transition back to in-person life, following 1.5 years of Zoom school and near-total isolation, is rougher than I expected. But so far I’ve seen no evidence to suggest that college will become anything like the blissful four years of fun that’s so often portrayed on this site. Am I doing something wrong?

 
Most Helpful

You either chose Uchicago or you’re super weird and out of touch.

 

I agree with most points about Chicago, but the campus was pretty when I visited. They rehabbed a lot of it recently.

 

Not true at all lmfao. My prep school sent 18 to uchicago, mostly because of connections. Only a few were actually elite students, many were just edgy/quirky in their essays. 

 

As someone that has been in your shoes: lighten up, don't view things so seriously or black and white -- reality is neutral, don't let your pre-conceived notions/discontent with immediate surroundings get the better of you or your interactions in a perpetual way. Plenty of people came to your university before you, and plenty of people will come after you leave -- find a path or community that you can enjoy and take advantage of those affiliated resources.

 
Controversial

Wake up. Sounds like you go to Chicago but I went to HYPS. All students at top schools aren't actually the cream of the crop anymore. It's a mix of prep schoolers, legacies, affirmative actioners, athletes, and a bunch of kids who did something meaningless which africana studies major AO's (yes, the one who initially reviewed my application to HYPS was an actual africana studies major) find unique. And then maybe 10% of the students are qualified and really that smart.

Secondly, I doubt crime is affecting you. You've been on campus, what, 3 weeks? Yeah, you definitely haven't been impacted by crime. I don't care if its Hyde Park or NYC. This is what makes me think this post is fake honestly.

Third of all, campus is garbage? Buildings derelict? Honestly, only "top-tier" school where I've seen physical dereliction Brown, and I've visited pretty much all of the ivies and similar schools. Your standards are way too high, if this isn't actually a fanfic.

Profs aren't going to sit there and care about you as a person. This isn't elementary school bro. You're taking 1st semester intro classes, are probably in relatively large sections, and will never interact with these profs again. They're just there to do their job. These are the top academics in the world. I promise you most of them don't WANT to teach, they care much more about their research, unless they're an actual "teaching professor". This is coming from someone who has an ivy-league prof parent. 

Next, club officers are sycophantic hacks, as are the sheep clamoring to join them? This is corporate america. You BS and suck the cock of the person above you, so once they move up you take their seat. Also, again, not sure how you figured all these people out in 3 weeks. At my school, upperclassmen and club leaders were nothing but helpful to me. I owe a ton of my success to them, including getting MF PE out of undergrad due to a guy who had interned at the same firm a couple years above me. You must be really smart or just delusional to think you've figured out these people already.

edit: really thought this was one of my least controversial posts. Guess kids on here really are a bunch of babies.

 

To its credit, I toured Brown with my sister a few weeks ago and they’ve renovated most of their worst-off dorms and they’re constructing a lot of really nice academic and residential buildings. Apparently the current President has been remarkable at fundraising compared to past ones to get Brown closer to its peers but maybe I’m wrong lol. Wonderful campus/community regardless

 

It's a mix of prep schoolers, legacies, affirmative actioners, athletes, and a bunch of kids who did something meaningless which africana studies major AO's (yes, the one who initially reviewed my application to HYPS was an actual africana studies major) find unique. And then maybe 10% of the students are qualified and really that smart.

Someone's got a fuckin chip on his shoulder

 

And you’re someone who either falls into one of those categories and is insecure about it or you’re one of those people who went to a state school and salivate over HYPS grads.

 

Friends at UChic have said people get jumped on campus. It's absurd how dangerous the campus is when you compare to other urban schools which do not have the same problem.

 

Lol your friends are definitely lying. I go to Uchicago and the surrounding neighborhood is obviously rough but literally no one gets jumped on campus. Just don't be an idiot flashing your gucci bag and you'll be ok.

 

When I first heard of U or C I really thought it was a local city college / University of Houston type of commuter school. 

 

Never said that. Just said that a lot of really smart kids won’t end up at HYPS. You could just as well claim that I said that you would find the cream of the crop at Devry, intern. If that’s what your critical thinking skills got out of that paragraph as you interpreted my words with zero generosity, I worry for you.

 

No. Nothing I said above is real, meaningful insight or warrants discussion. It's just fact.

If you are OP, here is truly what I would say to you: Just be patient. I remember I felt the exact same way in college. I'm a bit of an introvert, came from a middle-class background, and had great expectations for the HYPS school I went to. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I was honestly disappointed in the student body which was not what I expected it to be, partially for the reasons above. I was disappointed in my social life (I was social/popular/a-cool-kid in high school) and I just couldn't seem to make any real, interesting friends in college (as I was trying to avoid the frat-bro route like high school). I struggled to reach out to and socialize with upperclassmen who were pursuing similar careers as me so I had limited career insight even though I knew I wanted to go into finance. I felt alone and depressed. That was my freshman fall of college. Second semester everything changed. It's just so spontaneous when you hit that moment when you feel like you belong and you start to enjoy college. But once you hit it you never go back. Everything just starts going your way. Second semester, I met my best friend who I still talk to this day. He went into finance as well. I built a respectable, not-just-based-on-drinking, friend group. I built real relationships with upperclassmen who like I said above, I owe everything to, including the firm I am at currently, As you can see, all I am talking about here are relationships. Because that is what matters at the end of the day. I truly believe that your #1 goal in college should be to build long-lasting relationships. it will help you both personally and professionally. I'm saying this as someone who is a math major who graduated with a 3.9+ from HYPS. I took the all of the hardest/highest-level math coursework that my institution had to offer. I value academics; I believe that through school, you build work ethic and problem-solving skills which are transferrable to finance. But college is still about relationships.

As for your professors, my dad (the tenured ivy prof) once told me something that has always stuck with me throughout my academic career. Before I went to college, he told me this: "Always go into a class with the thinking that the professor teaching you is smarter than you". It's so basic and doesn't really mean anything huge, because its true, but sometimes we have to humble ourselves and remember again that it is true. The person lecturing you always knows more about the subject than you do; ALWAYS. This isn't AP Physics in high school where you're being taught by a chem major who failed general physics. Just because a professor stumbles over his words or makes a mistake in the calculations they're doing on the board doesn't make them less intelligent; it doesn't make them stupid. There were times in college where I belittled an annoying or difficult or seemingly-idiotic professor in my head or in front of my friends. But I always came back to what my dad told me. The person teaching me is always going to be smarter than me. Maybe I should humble myself and take on an attitude conducive to learning. To put it another way, my dad was also part of the hiring committee for his department (Think engineering). They got about 1000-1500 applications ALL from Ivy League / CalTech / MIT / Stanford / UMich / Berkeley / UT Austin Ph.D.s each year. The cream of the crop in STEM academia if there ever was one. Out of those 1500, they would fly in 4 for interviews. Most years, they would take none. Maybe they hire 2 every couple of years. Each and every one of the faculty teaching you went through THAT hiring process. They were the 1 in 1500, they were the best out of an entire group of qualified individuals.

As for the crime and derelict. I'm sorry if you've been robbed or mugged. However that's not a problem I or you can solve. It's not your fault and its not on you to fix it. However, you're there to learn and build relationships. Just keep the bigger picture in mind. Same for dereliction. I remember in one of my English classes reading a famous author talking about learning. He talked about how much stake we put into our learning environment when that really shouldn't be the core of our focus; we don't need high-tech classrooms with digital screens on all four sides. We're there to learn.

At the end of the day, I promise you will enjoy college. Just give it time. College did not begin as the magical 4 years that people describe it to be, but I promise if you stick with it it will end up as an experience you value for the rest of your life. Sorry for being so harsh above.

 

ask yourself the following and answer truthfully (to yourself) I don't give a fuck about what you tell some dudes on an Internet forum:

- are you good looking?

- are you fit (<12% bf)? 

- are you not autistic? 

- do you smell good?

- did you recently (in the past 3 weeks) get your haircut (by a professional, not your dog)?

- do your clothes fit? 

- are you rich? 

- do you have a car? 

- do you have muscles (to a point where people ask for your advice and/or comment about it)?

- are you over 5'10?  

if you answered "no" to more than 5 questions, you are fucked. Start working on what you can change. From your post I suspect you are unpleasant to be around and autistic. 

 

lifting and good diet fixes so many problems. You dont realize this until you get into it. Gives you discipline over something truly difficult (sitting at your computer all day doing homework isn't something truly difficult, especially when you have no life like OP - it only becomes hard when other people are clamoring for your time), helps physical health, mental health, men respect you / fear you and women like you. These subconsciously play out in terms of every interpersonal interaction you will ever have.

Having been the video game playing schlub who never touched a weight at one point in my life I know firsthand that the entire world is ready to walk all over you if given the chance. Being fit/having a good physique is the most important cheat code to life - even above career. You can earn money to drive a luxury car an hour a day, or put effort in to turn your body into basically a luxury car that you live in every waking second. Worth the sacrifice. 

 

bro 3 weeks is nothing, I know at least 3 people who go in every week for a fresh fade, maybe its a gym douche thing 

 

GDI doesn’t mean anything lmao. I respect some fraternities on my old campus, and actually rushed and got bids to the best frats with strong legacies, amazing parties, connections with the coolest and hottest girls (sororities) on campus, but these organizations mean relatively nothing if you ask me. Just another distraction, where people who are into banging their heads into walls to act cool and willing to humiliate themselves for approval, yelling “Saturday’s are for the boys,” dealing with a bunch of cocky kids that truly have nothing they should be proud of, hazing which can potentially ruin your life/career (not to forget to mention you are going to school to become something in your life and find a career) and also destroy the morale & damage people who are inflicted with this pain from hazing. If I did join these fraternities, I would have been part of an organization that got kicked off campus and had brothers who are now in jail/expelled from school/etc. from violating school guidelines and federal/state laws and the lists go on and on and on. On top of all that, you have to pay a fee to be a part of these fraternities, where you practically pay for friends and realize that the fraternity is divided from people hating each other, rivalries, and all sorts of internal divisions.

Sure you can make lifelong friends in these frats, build strong connections to land a career, and there are other benefits, but there is much more downside, aka shit that can go wrong, rather than upside. But, you don’t really need something like this in your life. Pretty fucking dumb if you ask me. While all my best friends were in this fraternity and I was immersed in their fraternal environment all the time, I didn’t need to pay a fee to join them and face the wrath of the school/government/court for anything fucked up that anyone else who was a part of the fraternity tried to or actually did. Joining these frats leads to a downward spiral in life if you ask me

 
trustmeimanengineer

Aye-Oh. Columbia. That shit be hard. My sister in law went there. She's a beast and graduated with a 2.7 GPA in Engineering. Make sure to go out and have some fun

Just bc she was the conductor of a train doesn't make her an engineer.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
 

College is talked up way too much in my opinion. I felt the people in college had significantly regressed vs the people I was around for my highschool experience (hard to believe), most of them were losers trying to reinvent themselves to pretend to be cool. The engineering students were fairly respectable (of course some weirdos as well) and actually focused but the rest were basically retarded; this was at one of the best schools in the country.

Try to enjoy it as much as you can and date a chick from a different school to mix it up -  but yea, it’s probably more all that for an SEC frat star at the peak of his life who will then work at a college bar or pizza joint into his late 30s. 


 

 

Soooo, I am going to comment even though I suspect this OP throws nasty comments my way periodically.

The first year of college is hard for some people and easy for others.  For some people, you are living away from home for the first time in a new city with thousands of new people.  However, even though you could be surrounded by all these people, it could be a lonely experience initially. My neighbors' kid hated her first year.  She cried almost every day to the point where her parents had to visit her on weekends.  This was her first time living away from home and felt lonely even though it was school with a large student body.  After her first year, she was fine and ended up loving the school.  She joined some clubs and a sorority.

I do not know why the OP has concerns about the crime rate.  I assume that the OP visited the school and was familiar with the area before making a decision. Most people who go to UPenn know the surrounding area has issues but it is not like you are interacting with people outside of the school. You are there to go to school and emerge with a degree that can get you a job.    

 

You sound like someone who just complains about things in general. You need to change your outlook on life. Take some bong hits and live a little. Go to parties, get a perfect GPA, get good internships and a good FT offer. Hit up the gym often. College is supposed to be fun, but can be challenging as well. Sign up for a bunch of interesting classes, double major if you can. Work hard and play hard.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

As someone currently attending an Ivy League institution for graduate school, I've realized that the student body is basically no different at all from the no-name Flyover State University I did my undergrad. Nothing I have seen from any professors or staff has made me ever once go "wow, I am glad I am here and not somewhere else". 

 

If you wanted an enjoyable college experience, why did you go “where fun goes to die”?

 

So you didn’t actually read my post. (And I’m not surprised; most of the above commenters didn’t.) The phrase “where fun goes to die” refers to UChicago’s stressful academic culture, of which I made no mention whatsoever. I have no problem with the academics here; if anything I think they’re on the easier side. My complaints, rather, are centered on the university’s underwhelming community, despite the saccharine language it so frequently touts.

 

Dude, we did read your post.

Reread your original post and tell me you don't sound like a prick who looks down on everyone else. 

So, are you doing something wrong? Yeah, you are. Here's what you should be doing: venture out of your comfort zone and make an active effort to connect with other people, even if you think you're better than they are or if you think they're not worth your time. It's a lot better than being a resentful hermit.

 

Firstly, I read your post. The fact that you think most commenters didn't read your post is indicative of your major problem: you think you're better than everyone else and deserve much more than you actually do. You deserve nothing, neither do I. Not even trying to be a dick here but entitlement is a dangerous game get used to not getting what you expect. You don't deserve a top tier campus with beautiful buildings, you don't deserve a city without crime, you don't deserve Socrates for a professor, you don't deserve club officers that genuinely care about you, or anything else. Cope.

Also, "where fun goes to die" might mostly refer to academics but you're not exactly top school material if you don't understand the spillover effects of going to a highly academically rigorous school. People are too stressed over studying to do things like have a normal college experience. If the experience is really that bad, then maybe look into transferring. Not even joking, but you shouldn't be miserable.

Side note: I sympathize with you. 1.5 years of Zoom school is not easy to come back from socially. You'll ease back in, just give it time and put yourself out there.

 

Dude, we all read your post. You come across as a lame loser with zero social skills - the type that no one wants to be around.

 

From the way you so eloquently insulted every aspect of your university and all the groups of people in it I'd say your education has so far been useful for something. With regard to the professors and students I honestly think that's the way it is in many top tier universities, especially these days with the lowering of academic standards (that begins in high school to be truthful) just to get more diversity, not just racial but students from different socioeconomic backgrounds, athletes, etc. so the university can retain funding and boost their "progressive" image.

You just have to mind your business focus on academics, in spite of the professors. Then when you figure that aspect of your life out you can move on to other things. Even if you don't find a close-knit group of friends at least you have your academics sorted out and can rely on that to help get you through. 

 

Take math major honor classes or cs/ee major. Soon you can see if you are the top top student

 

This kid wouldn't survive 5 minutes walking up Indianola at midnight, go bucks

 

If you are not a football/frat chad, it's going to be the worst 4 years of your life. Just go to class, come back and do homework, rinse and repeat. Graduate and get some mediocre job and slave away in it until you eventually die and your body decomposes. The end. Don't let any boomer tell you otherwise about it being "the best years of your life" or some platitude BS like that. 

 

Sure, but if you want to secure a good job, you have to bust your ass off in college. Join good clubs, apply and prepare for prestigious internships, network, self-study on the side, etc. Not sure what college you went to, but getting an 'A' in my classes, especially upper divs, was ridiculously hard and did not leave much time for anything else, least of all spending time with "friends".

 

Did you swallow a dictionary before writing this? Nobody likes hanging around with supercilious sciolists who think that a more recherché lexicon is indicative of intelligence. Tread carefully before you assiduously malign the veracity of my etymological prowess.

Or just... Speak like a normal person?

 

I do. I'm sorry if you don't understand the rather simple words that I chose; it really speaks to the average intelligence in this forum--especially when I intentionally dumbed down my vocabulary in writing this post.

 

Yes it is, along with a freshman class that voted for Biden at a rate of 87.5%, with 6.5% for the green party candidate, and 6% for Trump.  Now I am a bit suspect of those numbers not because I don't believe that those can't be correct but how large of a sample size are we talking about here in a senior class in high school that would have been 18 and able to register to vote before like mid September to early October.  Most states do not have same day registration.

Edit:  It honestly shames me that my alma mater is this fucking lame.  

 

Hey dude. Just in case it isn't trolling, I went to an intellectual/nerdy school and have some specific tips:

1) Don't worry about fitting in -- you can find a group specific enough to match who you really are. Whether it's lacrosse, ultimate frisbee, or esports, just do what you really want to do. That's the part of college that's much better than high school: you are free to choose (eh? Milton Friedman reference?)

2) Branch out beyond your comfort zone. Does this conflict with point #1? Maybe. I don't know. Fuck it. Try some things that are new to you: martial arts, new types of classes different from your major, getting out into the city with some friends. If you find out that it doesn't jive with you, don't feel pressured to continue, but do try it out. I randomly developed this group of Vietnamese friends and we would go out to karaoke every weekend. I never sang a note in public in my entire life before college. But the experience of drunk karaoke --> hungover pho the next morning was irreplaceable. I can still smell the sriracha mixing with the minty broth alongside a smooth iced coffee.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
 

I don't think it's a man or woman thing, I think money is just attractive in general. Let's be real, a good looking girl that brings in a significant income and can improve your personal lifestyle is more attractive than a woman that doesn't want to work and that actually costs you money. Same goes for reverse gender roles. Money is just attractive in general; I might sound like a gold digger or superficial, but everybody knows that this has always been true. Think about dowries and there use throughout history.

 

Nah you're not wrong bud, you've just had your eyes opened. Colleges now are a cesspool of bullshit and have been rapidly accelerating downward since 2015/2016. Covid only made the decline that much faster. You have my sympathy. 

 

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're genuinely asking for help here. Even though the majority of your post is written to boost your own ego and to give yourself a sense of superiority. Why is that? If you don't know the answer to that question at a deep level, that's probably a good starting point.

You're clearly a smart, well-read person. Take some fucking ownership over your situation. It's very easy to criticize everything around you. It's also fundamentally unproductive 99% of the time. Put another way, if you're so much smarter than everybody else around you, how come you can't figure out how to be happy?

 

When did someone say it was going to be "blissful four years of fun?" If you want to do IB, that's not going to happen. How I did college (during the week, midterm szn affected this as well by a lot more study time): 7 am: workouts, 8:30 am-12 pm: classes, 12-1:30: nap / eat , 2-4: class / study, 4-9 work / study: , 9/10-midnight: party / hang with friends. You definitely need to make time for yourself (workouts) and to hang with friends, but also take school seriously. Don't know your situation, but you're taking 4 years to invest in yourself and paying a lot of money to do so; nobody said it was going to be a cakewalk. Change your mindset and think about it as an investment, not a time to continue on high school. 

Crime is everywhere now, but I'm sure it doesn't drastically effect you. Carry pepper spray / taser in your backpack if you really get freaked out. That shouldn't be a limiting factor on how you live your life. 

Go to office hours if you want your professor to care about you. So many of them are just there for research. 

Club managers have so much going on / dealing with. Reach out to upperclassmen that are in the clubs, rather than the leaders themselves. 

 

This is without a doubt one of the most painful posts I've read on this site. Anyone who speaks like this, whether it be on an internet forum or elsewhere, is going to struggle. And dude, learn the rules of grammar and punctuation before you even consider writing something this cringe-worthy. Put away the fucking thesaurus too. Your lack of fun and friends is not remotely surprising to me. School not interesting enough? Pick up a book. There's crime? Think of it as an opportunity to build character (something you seem to need) and adapt. Can't find your group? Then keep looking. Or come here, but don't write a fucking post like this again. If that's too much then return to the cushy bubble you crawled out of. All the best.

 

I'm going to comment more in a separate post for actual direct advice, but I want to clear something up regarding everyone dunking on this kid for exaggerating the crime situation on campus and being dramatic. Assuming this is indeed UChicago...

Multiple people above have said no one gets jumped on campus, or that nothing can happen in 3 weeks. Here is a story of a peer of mine who got mugged at gunpoint literally in Week 3, on literally the Main Quadrangle: https://www.chicagomaroon.com/2013/03/12/105558/.

And can't forget about the multiple times when someone from the surrounding community came in and stole a bunch of laptops from Snell-Hitchcock (the most "on campus" dorm the school has) during the middle of the day, one such time being: https://www.chicagomaroon.com/article/2014/1/10/hitchcock-residents-rep….

This is to say nothing of the students who've died in the past year alone from gun violence, one of which admittedly was just in crossfire on the Green Line heading back to campus: https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/university-of-chicago-students-ca… another of which was in a luxury high rise complex that many wealthy international students lived in (Regents Park): https://www.chicagomaroon.com/article/2021/1/9/student-shot-killed-rege…

I have an inbox full of security alerts on muggings that happened within a block or two of the Main Quad or what any reasonable person would deem "campus" as well, and lots of friends who were burglarized during the day / even while they were in their apartment, or getting jumped while walking just outside of it. One of these happened outside the house that Bill Gates's son lives/d in with his security detail (before he had lived there, obviously), and that's just across the street from the north end of campus.

And these are just the reported cases or the ones that make it to the news! I have multiple friends who've been mugged or burglarized (one while he was taking a rest and woke up to the burglar leaning over him to steal his phone). I saw a carjacking happen in front of me live at a stoplight in the early afternoon just a few blocks east of campus when my mom and I were driving back home! And all of this is while UChicago is heavily staffed up:

"Today, the University of Chicago Police Department is one of the largest private police forces in the world, second only to the Vatican Police." -https://prospect.org/civil-rights/campus-cops-authority-without-account…

UChicago was the only place I lived for an extended period of time where I felt unsafe walking around at night. I acknowledge that means things have been pretty good in my life because there are some real rough areas of the country. But it's quite frustrating when people who never went there try to assume that UChicago kids are just making stuff up and that it can't be much worse than some other arbitrary campus. It's even more frustrating when some of my peers that actually went there try to downplay the situation in order to try to avoid any appearance of racism or classism.

Having crime happening reasonably frequently in your immediately surrounding community puts a serious damper on being able to let loose like plenty of others are able to in their other college's environment. This was/is a real problem for UChicago and I hope that any future commenters take it seriously in providing advice and don't write this person off.

 

tl;dr: Meet friends like you. Be open-minded in who you really are but don't change to fit others. This is your sole objective in the short-term and what will most serve you in the long-term. Everything else will fall into place. Below, I go into more detail about who you might be and how you find those people.

--


Now, if this is UChicago, there is a heavy emphasis on house culture. In my time there, I observed that social groups basically fell into the following categories. I don't know how much this happens at other schools, but several peers agreed with me:

1. There are some odd loners that stay to themselves, no one sees them, and they don't try to see anyone else and everyone's fine with it.

2. There are some very weird groups that delight in their extreme quirkiness (far more than being merely nerdy). These were the huge majority in most of the off-campus satellite dorms. They are stereotypical UChicago kids and are the kinds of people the campus would've been full with in the comparatively recent days (like 1990s) of 40-70% selectivity rate. They are quite cliquish because they are used to clearly being in the out-group in high school and are delighted to find their group in "the" school for doing so. You wouldn't even be in these dorms unless you affirmatively opted into this deal or were extremely late in securing housing, in which case you could very well find yourself in your current situation. I'm not even sure if most of those off-campus houses exist anymore.

3. There are a multitude of slightly abnormal kids that superficially seem quite normal but at other schools or groups would not have been particularly popular or well-liked, just unobjectionable. I kind of get the vibe some of the commenters belong to here because they can't relate to your situation. These are the huge majority of most of the non-Snitchcock on-campus houses (Max P, South, Campus North...whatever they call these nowadays).

4. There is a sizable minority of extremely normal kids that are excluded from Group #3 and end up joining Greek Life because they don't "fit in" with the house. This is important because many of them -- especially in a school like UChicago -- would never have wanted to join Greek Life due to the stereotypes of it they've heard elsewhere, but that's the only place they kind of fit in given the hostile quirkiness of Group 2 and difficult-to-pinpoint exclusiveness of Group 3.

5. There are several athletes and others who knew they wanted Greek Life from the beginning, but this is a minority because chances are they wouldn't have chosen UChicago in the first place... but for completeness sake, I will note they exist.

6. Finally, the last group: they for whatever reason don't fit in with the house monoculture, but haven't/won't go through Greek Life, and don't glorify being weird for its own sake. Maybe they're very mildly on the spectrum or maybe they don't like to drink but are otherwise quite normal. On one hand you can count the number of kids in this group per house.

I suspect you're a member of Group 6. I was in this group myself. This would explain your apparent chip on your shoulder to so many of your peers:. Because you feel excluded from them for what does not appear to be any clear discernable reason, you look for ways to feel justified in your unwanted exile by relying on feelings of superiority. And I can kind of see you doing that in this very thread too in your responses to people as you face probably more antagonism in a place you had hoped you would fit in: WSO, a not-UChicago-future. Honestly, I didn't think you were typing like a dictionary or thesaurus early on, so don't know what others were getting on about, but it seems like as the antagonism came on the thread, you were stepping up the reading level of your posts for the put-downs. I think even you can acknowledge that (but you don't have to).

If you are in Group 6, I'm going to ask you to take a deep breath and listen to me, I'm on your team here. Regarding your feelings of superiority or whatever you want to call them, you and I both know it's probably not very productive to feel this way as a defense. Just to be clear, you may not even be totally wrong: Most/all of my peers in Group 2/3 never ended up amounting to what most on this forum would consider to be very much. Instead, that generally accrued to those in Group 1 who were solitary geniuses, or to socially better-adjusted people in Groups 4/5. I'm biased, but in fact, I would say Group 6 did the best of the people I knew: provided they didn't burn out wasting their time on anger and hate and feelings of superiority, and just kept their nose to the grindstone without constant distractions and found few meaningful friends rather than trying to be well-liked by everyone.

If I am on the money with my analysis here, my suggestion is simple: You need to meet your fellow tribesmen/tribeswomen in Group 6. I don't have a great suggestion on how to do this, but all I can say is that's the most important thing you can do, and everything flows from there: the campus will look more beautiful, you'll find most of the clubs won't matter, and you'll leave those "crotchety" professors behind (which I'm nearly certain are the ones you've met in Core and not in your major, and hence won't relate to). I will say those great friends were the ones I made first year, but I didn't know it until many years later, even after college, as I continued to deepen my relationship with them, and the "more fun" friends I made in the second years onward dropped away.

I'd written, rewritten, and discarded multiple drafts here about my own experience at school. If you want a PM about it or if anyone cares I'm happy to give more details. But as one final suggestion based on another comment you made elsewhere in the thread: If you are as smart, hardworking, and talented as you say you are, you have the privilege to not waste your time doing something you hate, thanks to the additional credential of being at UChicago. Wasting your time will make you hate it all even more. You'll have to grind, yes. But don't pick up an extra major as a signal if you hate it, because chances are, the employer won't care, and you could tank your other studies. Additionally, if you know you're doing Math/CS for now while aiming for banking eventually (which practically speaking doesn't use either at all), it'll be very, VERY easy for you to come to despise math/CS by the end of it, because you'll be working hard and feel it doesn't matter when you could've been taking easier classes. You'll be dragging yourself across the finish line and hate your middle/later years of school even more than you do now. I take this as a very strong indicator of risk-aversion that unchecked will lead you to feel like you're drifting through your life, powerless: this is what leads to burnout and the lack of enjoyment in your present circumstances.

It's okay to want prestige, but do note that as the years go on, investment banking may become a less prestigious career, and the career that commands the most prestige may be one that heavily focuses on math/CS. Trust me, you won't feel great hating your time in school over the extra work you're doing in math/CS for banking, only to then get to IBD and be surrounded by bro analysts who -- whether they're right or wrong -- say things like "Hah, wish I were smart enough to work at a quant fund or a tech company" while you gnash your teeth knowing you could've done that too.

Note that I'm not saying either path is necessarily better than the other. My point is there will be a grass-is-greener mentality you will have to face in the end. Prestige is external. You have to do what you feel proud about and energizes you. Don't drift. Take action; connect with the peers who seem to share your goals, especially fellow outsiders, even if they don't seem like great friends yet.

The rest should fall into place.

Anyway, this post is long enough for now. Hope that's food for thought.

 

If you miss high school so much, you could just go after 17 year olds like Isaiah & try to relive the glory days 

 

Damn I grew up around UChicago. If you from my area and go to UChicago, you're blessed. What happened to being grateful for what you have?

 

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