My hippie mom doesn't want me to go into IB

Well she's not wrong.

All jokes aside you should pursue what interests you. If she's THAT worried throw in a gender studies or sociology minor...

"Pursue what will make you happy, and also good at."

Be grateful she is paying, but be sure to major in what you want. If she is a hippie she will be open to you doing what you want with your life. No reason to create a divide between you and her.

Personal opinion: money / IB may not be the right path, but I'd rather make a mistake that leaves me well off than one that leaves me broke. My mom doesn't get it either, thinks Wall St is evil, Apple should pay more taxes, etc. I took some of my mom's advice earlier on in life and it COMPLETELY fucked my ability to be competitive in the job market out of UG. I take responsibility for my actions, but I learned the hard way that liberal arts majors and personal development do not translate well into opportunities in finance (albeit at a non-target, so not a 1:1 situation).

Just to be clear, if you pursue finance and declare a career-oriented major, will she pull your funding?

Sounds like rich hippie problems

How about this: just don't talk to her about it?

Not really.

She just needs to be educated. While all investment banks look the same, they all have different personalities. Each banks plays different roles in the financial world. Not all banks are pure mercenaries.

For example, founder of JP Morgan, George Peabody was so philanthropic that he is called "father of modern philanthropy" JP Morgan and Morgan Stanley therefore are still very philanthropic. They are also very active in "Impact Investment" Space. Impact investment is a type of investing where you are seeking investment opportunity for both profit and social returns at the same time. Competing with superior Goldman Sachs, these two companies are more and more using sustainability and impact investing to differentiate from its competitor. Morgan Stanley hosts prestigious "Sustainable Investing Challenge" every year. You can check it out there. http://sustainableinvestingchallenge.org/ Take a look at their past winner here- http://www.terralimpafund.com/

You should also take a look and tell your mother about super cool companies such as Leapfrog investment. They are private equity company who is a main players in the impact investing space. For example, they invested in much needed insurance sector in Africa. This not only helped so much for those African people but also had stellar financial return. I don't remember but it was like 20~30% return or something.

Even money has heart because ultimately, what moves money is people. If you are compassionate and smart enough, you can do good and profit at the same time.

My mother doesn't like that I pursue a career in finance. She was also the one who convinced me all loans are bad and as a result I skipped out on student loans. The interest rate on the Swedish student loan is 0,34% and you have 25 years to pay it back. I would have had 50k usd (potentially more on a favourable savings account) for a property buy and it would have been the cheapest loan I'd ever have.

There are 2 morals to the story: Educate the fearful and don't always listen to your parents.

Tell her you finally agree with her and instead of IB you want to join a team, not just any team an "Elite and Diverse team." This team treats everyone as equals, and you do team building exercises that make you well-rounded and have the opportunity to travel the world. Tell her if she doesn't want you to pursue IB, that you'll join the Army/Marines.

See how reverse sociology works?

"Parents don't like the life you lead? Fuck you mom and dad! You'll see how it feels when you're making their fucking Lexus payments."

No but, seriously, just explain to her what an investment banker job entails, i.e. offering analysis to either corporations or investment funds in exchange for some money. Which is pretty much the same as any other "service" job in the world.

If needed, picture the market guys (S&T) as the greedy, "poor getting poorer", "speculating on the air we breath and the water we drink" type of guys, and tell her that you hate those people so much that you built a Chinese Wall inside the office specifically not to ever see them or talk to them again. In fact, you made it illegal to do so. Unless she follows up with questions, do not specify it is not an actual wall.

my dad doesn't like that I'm married to a yankee

my mom doesn't like that I voted for Romney

no one in my family likes that I work at a big bank

however...no one talks shit at Thanksgiving dinner

fuck 'em. they're your family, you have to love them, but you don't have to listen to them. your mom is paying for your tuition, and I'm betting she just cares that you make good grades. when she asks how you're doing, tell her what you're learning and how good your grades are, and only announce that you have a SA gig when you actually have it. discretion is key.

you'll find over time that your family can hate the industry but still love the people working in it. they'll tell you if they think it's warping you for the worse, but they're doing it out of love. you should hear them out, but you don't have to abide to them blindly. finance isn't UNICEF, but it's not al qaeda either.

despite what everyone here is saying, don't try to educate them before you get into the business. if they really want to know what you do, they'll ask. right now, you're a student. you are probably right about what bankers do, but in their minds, you don't know because you don't do it yet. I limit talking about my work with my family, just because I don't give a shit if I have their approval. they should love you unconditionally, and if they change that because you take a job at Morgan Stanley, fuck them. get em outta your life.

First off, your mother will give you her advice and opinion whether you want it or not. That's part of the responsibility of being a parent. She carried you under her heart for 9 months, so she is entitled to it. Generally, I agree with the need to be well-rounded, but that is not an "academic" discipline. I would point out to her that being well-rounded means that you are aren't solely career focused and understand the need to try new things, have a life, interests and being exposed to things to more than one core subject. Tell her you also understand the value of an education, the current job market, and, if you really want to make a case, cite some employment statistics from the school for different majors. If banking is not your be-all/end-all, and you want to use it as a stepping stone for other things, then explain it to her like that. Banking is part of a longer career plan. 2 Years working for a big bank opens doors that other jobs won't. Likewise, if your plan is to get an MBA in a few years, explain that banking is often a very good entry point to get into top MBA programs and you plan to leverage the MBA to potentially do something different. This way you have the ability to go one and do something that might be "more fulfilling" in her mind. If you want to go down the road and have a career in banking, I don't have any advice to give you. It's an argument you may never win with her.

Ultimately, you need to do what is best for you. You need to remind her that this is your future and that you need to do what is best to set yourself up in the long run. It's your decision and you need to keep that in mind as well.

Tell your mom to move to a commune and fuck off.

Stop being a wimp and pursue your path. Sounds like you may be egging her on a little bit "told her I bleed Lehman green".. ton it the fuck down. Let her know your doing this to develop a fundamental business skill set that will set you up for your career. Yes the money is great, but there's more to it

What should you do? Tell her it's none of her f*cking business what you do as an adult, and if she really doesn't like it then she can choose not to pay for your school. You need to establish this right now, and not just about your college major and future career. Parents have no right and no business butting into their adult children's lives unsolicited. When parents do this to their adults kids it only serves to poison their relationship. This behavior so infuriated my father that he wouldn't speak to his parents for years.

My suggestion? Lie to her that you're changing majors to art history, that you found your "calling" and now want to quit your finance dream. Then get an offer at a BB, but don't tell her right away. Then towards the end, before leaving for the new city, just tell her and leave. Then keep visiting back as much as possible in the first few months and gift her stuff. She'll forget all remorse soon enough.

If I had listened to my parents and whatever "advice" they gave me, I would have been earning $8k annually in my country. That is not a living wage there.

Here are some thoughts I would use as a starting point to sell the idea.

1) Investment bankers can also do a lot for small business owners. At a good mid-market shop (probably the best place to be ATM unless you're dead set on the megafund path), then you'll be adding an enormous amount of value to young business owners and startups. I still recall one of the first stories when I was looking at career paths that I got from a banker about how next weekend (at the time) he was going to be flying over to London to help a founder sell his business that the kids weren't interested in keeping, and it was because of his work that the owner was going to get a price that would secure his family's future for a long time.

2) Tell her you want to work for a social investing fund. Even then there's a good number of banks out there that focus on hippie-friendly causes such as Marathon Capital (cleantech focused investment bank). Look into a bit and get a good idea of what social impact investors do, then explain that working at an investment bank is how you make a difference in the world. You don't need to 100% believe it, you just need to believe it enough to be convincing. If you actually are capable of being an investment banker that last part should come naturally.

3) Just consider taking the debt if your own resume/grades/network give you good odds of success.

Some other posters made good points as well. Yes, there's some extremely shady shit that goes on in finance. You'd be a fool to deny that. That doesn't mean that you individually will be doing anything shady or that your firm will be. There' a LOT of great shops out there and departments where you aren't doing anything morally questionable, and I'd argue in general that IB is somewhat less shady than what goes on in PWM/S&T jobs.

Your mom is one of the most important people in your life. It the end she only has your best interests in mind, so if I were you, I would do my best to respect her and listen to her(which is sounds like you have) because I'm sure there is some truth to what she is saying.

With that being said, one of the most important things I learned in my late teens/early twenties is that one's parents are not always right about everything. They're just people who have made choices and had life experiences that have taken them down a certain path and it becomes your job to figure out when to listen to them and when to chart your own path.

Sounds like you're at that inflection point, banking might not be the Peace Corp, but it's also not an inherently evil job and can open up a lot of doors down the road which will hopefully lead to career happiness. No reason you'd shouldn't at least try it if piques your interest. I'd try and have a sit down with your mom, explain your point of view and go from there.

And as others have said, if you need to pick up a minor or 2nd major to appease her, that wouldn't be the worst idea. You might learn something in the process, plus hot girls study the humanities/liberal arts so its a win all around.

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Honestly, if that is what you want to do, go for it. The biggest mistake you can do is having regrets in life. If she is going to be spiteful and not pay for your school just because you want to work in banking, I say just get a student loan. I'd rather pay the price than having her control my life and a live a life of regret.

Make an excel sheet weighing the pros and cons of following your/her path. Makes sure you make plenty of assumptions to make it was frothy as possible.

Kick her in the nuts.

Seriously though, I have hippie parents that think the same thing so a few things.

1. Tell them all that bad suff happen another group. Like "I'm in M&A all the ethical issues involving money and money management happen in S&T" ... or "I'm in S&T all were doing is betting with house money... those M&A guys are the shady backrook dealers. We dont like them they give us a bad name.

2. Pay them back for school with your first bonus check. Thatll shut them the fuck up pretty quick.

Tell her that if she doesn't get behind you she will never meet her grandkids.

Tell your mom there's no virtue in giving a shit about other people. Absolutely none.

Be honest: that you are too young to have any idea what you want to do, but that experience as an analyst will open any doors across all industries, whether it be in tech, entertainment, oil/gas (which I imagine she is not a fan of), etc.

Or just pretend it's your goal to start the first multi-strat global arb special situations weed hedge fund, and banking is the only route there. smoke on that mom

just quote boiler room and be like " fuck you mom and dad...see how it feels when i'm paying for your lexus"

While trying to explain to her the virtues of the financial sector will probably fall on deaf ears, I would give this paper a read. The audience is obviously other academics, but I think it may help to provide some of the info you are looking for.

http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/luigi.zingales/papers/research/finance…

You shouldn't get a particular job because your uncle has that job and your mom is pissed off at your uncle?

Dude.

You look money hungry and that's good. Anyone who tells you that money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any...you want details fine I drive a ferrari 355 cabriolet whats up! I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. Now let me tell you whats required, We want you to work our ass off when you work in finance, people only go into finance to be filthy rich. We're not here making friends, we're not saving the manitees. You want vacation time go teach 3rd grade public school....Parent's don't like the life you lead fuck you mom and dad! See how it feels when you're making their fucking Lexus payments. Now go home and thing about it, and if this is really for you.

Have her read this: ** 10 ways Investment Banking touches Main Street** HELPING COMPANIES GROW AND EXPAND If companies could only grow when they had the cash in the bank, it would be a pretty slow-going economy. Even if a young employee at a factory had a great idea for a new product, the company wouldn’t be able to move on it until it was generating ample profit from existing product lines.

Enter investment banking. Investment bankers play the critical role of gathering idle cash from investors short on business ideas, and getting that cash into the hands of entrepreneurs with big ideas but no money. The combination can dramatically shorten the time it takes for new ideas to hit the market.

Perhaps the most dramatic example of investment bankers turbocharging growth and the economy is with initial public offerings (IPOs). Consider Chipotle Mexican Grill, one of the biggest new restaurant concepts in some time. The company was founded in 1993 by entrepreneur Steve Ells, who had the idea that Americans were ready for a gourmet burrito. The company started slowly, as Ells took loans from family to get going. But unless your parents are billionaires, there’s a limit to family loans. Chipotle even landed an investment from fast-food giant, McDonald’s, allowing it to get to about 500 locations by 2005. But the real growth occurred when the company sold shares to the public for the first time in early 2006. That’s when Chipotle raised roughly $150 million from selling shares in its IPO. Loaded with the capital raised by the public, Chipotle then had the resources to expand fast. And expand it did. Through 2013, the company has more than 1,400 locations in the United States, Canada, and Europe. Had the company needed to rely on its own cash flow generation to expand, it would’ve taken decades to get this big and create this many jobs.

PROVIDING LIQUIDITY TO THE MARKET Investment bankers are really in the money flow business. Their job is to find projects that are worthwhile and potentially profitable, but that can’t seem to get the money needed to get started.

Due to investment banks’ relationship with investors, they have access to pools of capital looking for a home. By pooling investment capital, investment banks are able to bring together the capital needed to get deals done.

Investment banks also serve a role in the public markets. By buying and selling stakes in companies and bonds, investment banks create an actively trading market that anyone can buy or sell into. A vibrant and actively trading marketplace benefits anyone who needs to buy or sell.

Take the example of eBay, an online marketplace you might be more familiar with. The more people who are on eBay buying and selling goods, the easier it is to buy and sell goods yourself. Investment bankers play the same role in capital markets, making sure there’s ample trading activity to allow all investors to buy or sell if they choose to.

OFFERING HIGHER RETURNS TO INVESTORS Anyone who has ever put money into a savings account understands the sting of low interest rates. Banks are infamous for taking in consumers’ deposits and paying next to nothing in the form of interest rates.

But thanks to investment banks, investors have more options. Investment bankers create new types of securities, many of which pay much higher rates of interest than what’s available at the bank.

Additionally, because investment bankers are working with all sorts of projects and companies, they create new financial opportunities for consumers to pick and choose from.

Investment bankers sometimes get a bad name for creating high-risk investments that blow up from time to time, and that’s certainly lamentable. But investment banks, too, are responsible for selling conservative investments that generate decent returns for investors looking for better returns than they might get from their local bank branch.

UNLOCKING HIDDEN VALUE Parents often shake their heads when they see their kids falling short of their potential. And capitalists have a similar feeling of dismay when companies or other assets don’t reap their maximum potential.

One of the great losses in our capitalist system happens when a unit of a company finds itself buried and neglected inside a larger firm. It’s a fairly frequent occurrence, because a small but creative group of people inside a big company might stumble upon a breakthrough technology or product. The value of this innovation may be locked inside a company, unable to reach its full potential.

Investment bankers can play a pivotal role in allowing these trapped assets to break out and realize their full potential. Investment bankers are often tapped to advise companies on whether they can divest units in the form of spinoffs or other reorganizations that will make the sum of the parts worth more than a whole. A spinoff is a financial maneuver when a company breaks off a part of its business into a new, separate company.

If you’ve ever booked plane tickets on online travel site Expedia, you’ve experienced the power of breaking away a promising unit from a large company focused on other things. Expedia was created by software giant Microsoft in the 1990s. The online travel business may have been buried inside the company, which focused its efforts on operating systems, web tools, and other technology systems. But by spinning off Expedia, Microsoft created a stand-alone business valued at more than $6 billion that trades on the NASDAQ exchange.

SAVING VALUABLE ASSETS FROM OBLIVION The annals of business history are littered with devastating stories of missteps and failures. But one of the ultimate cases of a business wipeout is when a company files for bankruptcy protection. Bankruptcy protection is a process designed to preserve parts of the business that are valuable but trapped inside a faulty business model.

Investment banks often play an important role in the bankruptcy protection process. The goal of bankruptcy protection is to isolate the parts of the failed business that are worthwhile and get them into the hands of other investors or companies that can keep them alive.

Investment banks can serve the important role of lining up financing for companies or investors who want to buy parts of a company in bankruptcy protection. Armed with fresh capital and better management, parts of a doomed company, or the whole thing, can be saved. Consider General Motors and Chrysler, two automakers that both filed for bankruptcy protection in 2009. These companies represent some of the largest bankruptcies in U.S. history.

Investment banking processes are a big reason why these companies still exist. Chrysler came out of the bankruptcy protection process and was ultimately sold to Fiat. GM took a much different route, but one that required the assistance of investment bankers, too. The company underwent a series of dramatic financial changes, which included the wiping out of its common stock and heavy investment from the U.S. government. Investment banking came into play later when the restructured GM was sold to the public in an IPO, shoring up the company and giving the U.S. government freedom to reduce its bailout of the company.

Other times the role of investment banks are even more direct. Failed savings and loan, Washington Mutual, was ultimately bought, in part, by JPMorgan Chase, to hold the mortgage market together in 2008. Failed brokerage firm Merrill Lynch was bought by Bank of America in 2008 during the financial crisis that year.

PLANNING FOR RETIREMENT Perhaps one of the clearest ways regular investors interact with investment banks is during the retirement planning process. Rank and file employees understand that planning for retirement is a mammoth task that can take a long time. But it’s important not only to save for retirement, but also to put that savings to work by investing in an asset that will generate a decent return.

About the only way most people have even a remote chance to have enough money for retirement is by investing. Consider a 40-year-old who plans to retire at 65, but who hasn’t started at all. That investor will have needed to save and invest nearly $700,000 to have even a fighting chance at retiring comfortably, according to the Index Fund Advisors.

Getting that kind of savings is going to require returns that far exceed what’s available in a savings account. Financial products such as exchange-traded funds, stocks, bonds, and mutual funds are all key aspects of getting to retirement.

Some retirees may also be members of public pension plans. These massive pools of money are invested in a variety of assets, many of which are created or managed by investment banks. The investment banks are able to present investment opportunities that are likely to generate greater returns and allow people to afford to retire.

FOSTERING ENTREPRENEURSHIP Perhaps the most glamorous role of investment banking is in the creation of brand-new businesses. Nothing is more American than the idea of an entrepreneur with a good idea starting a business that takes off and winds up generating thousands of jobs and profits.

But getting a company off the ground often requires huge investments that are beyond the means of the entrepreneur. And given the innate risks of starting a business from scratch, banks and other lenders are often reluctant to give entrepreneurs as much money as they need to get started.

Investment banks, by their very nature, are better positioned to raise capital from a diverse group of investors who might be more tolerant of risk. Investment banks can determine how to raise the money, be it through debt offerings or selling stock. The end result is that entrepreneurs can get the money they need to start.

Certainly, investment bankers benefit when new companies are formed and raise money, because they collect the fees. But the economy as whole benefits, too, because new businesses can be drivers of opportunities of growth and jobs.

FINDING INVESTMENTS THAT DESERVE ATTENTION There is no shortage of places for investors to place their money. Between stocks, bonds, options, commodities, private equity, and other investments, it can be difficult for a worthy project to stand out from the crowd and grab investor attention.

Investment bankers can often serve the role of selling opportunities to investors. If a company’s shares are undervalued and being ignored by investors, a savvy analyst in the research department of an investment bank might write up a report telling investors that the stock is a screaming buy.

Meanwhile, investment management professionals at investment banks may be in the position to identify assets, such as bonds, that might be ignored and therefore present a good value for investors.

The role of marketing is often disparaged with investment banks. And it can be abused. But investment banks can often be the only way for companies with compelling stories to get their messages to interested investors.

http://www.dummies.com/personal-finance/investing/investment-banking/10…

Nice thread,, very helpful. I hope you were able to get some guidance.

Well she is stereotyping, but what you could do is say how it can help startups take off, talk about how this helps the little guy that has put in blood and tears to make his company something spectacular and you're the reason that it has happened and he has essentially followed the american dream. I know this does sound over dramatic but it can be true at times. just make out how it will help you in life and also how you can help others.

I'm currently an undergrad too but I'm the first member of my family to go to university so my parents know that they'll need to work into their late 60s, so my dad especially made it clear to me that if I don't do it someone else will so why not let it be me that can make the money, because he doesn't want me to not achieve my maximum potential. So I'm sorry about the advice because with my family's view on the job is at the other end of the spectrum from yours.

IB is a pool of professional who at some point decided to formulate their career based on game theory/nash equilibrium which derives from this idea that people often act on their self-interest. And when money meets people with self-interest, yeah it can get pretty evil. But ask yourself, what industry including non-profit such as Federal Govt. isn't evil? IB is a collection of a lot of talented people who are innovative in providing financial solutions to clients. Sometimes the innovation includes gutting pensions, benefits, firing to find "synergies" "efficiency" . Mind you, they are simply advising. They are not the once carrying out the deeds.

Definitely heartbreaking for the son to see her mom bring in drastic and discriminatory judgments as you try to carve your own path.

I am assuming you put in a lot of thought into your decision - in which case she needs to step her game up and start educating herself before putting unnecessary constraints.

Though shes generalizing I would tell her not all bankers are evil, and she raised you well so you're gonna bring the same high level of ethics and morals to a world that really needs it. Speak her language :) Good luck

1-For all those what wrote this kid should tell his mom to f-off - SHAME ON YOU! What if someone told you that? Add some class to how you speak and behave and watch how things change for you for the better. I cannot believe some of you kids...the language! the awful advice! 2-To the kid whose mom is funding is studies and she is not impressed about the choice...some people commented that you shouldn't always take your moms advice. On this particular issue - you should follow your heart. Don't argue with your mom, when it comes up, be patient about it, tolerant and try explain to her that people should do what they enjoy when it comes to career choices. As in all careers - there are good and bad. There are Dr's that make awful screw ups in surgery and others that are brilliant. There are politicians like Hitler and there are those like Nelson Mandela. In both cases you are likely to have the media and people focus on the negative ones. Similarly - your mom, not being in the IB industry - only knows what she does from public information, media etc. She will only have heard the negative. Perhaps tell her about the industry's professional and ethical guides - show them to her - and like some of the others said - educate her. Just be honest with your mom and try to convince her that she raised you properly and that you will not follow in the paths of the unethical IB's. If you know where your Dad lies - go light a candle, take some flowers, and ask him to help you with the situation. You will be surprised. It will not happen overnight. But have faith. If you are religious - pray. 3 - I want to leave you with this quote...it was the closing bit of one of former Coca Cola Bryan Dyson's speeches: "[…] Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit. And you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."