Top Bucket Night

Live around Murray Hill and the other night I was at an Irish pub near 5th Ave when I met this top bucket Latina (Cuban/Colombian/Venezuelan) and we hit it off pretty hard, I was able to allocate her digits and I massaged the numbers pretty well into my phone. She had an appetite for me, despite me being from a semi, quasi-target (think Cornell Hotel Management/Cooper Union - Epstein School/Kelley) and my performance lately being a bit low (I'm at a top-bucket elite boutique, think CVP/RBC/EB). So, we head back to my place in Hudson Yards (I have multiple abodes in various domiciles) and we talked about how I singlehandedly closed the AT&T-Time Warner while she scrolled through Tik Tok viewing some Sam Shiah videos, when I explained that that's fake and will never work because she is stupid and goes to a non-target. She didn't understand why I said that, but I broke down that my internal motivations as a sigma provoked me to state the unabashed reality. 

She could tell I was above the alpha and gamma in the hierarchy, which is when I decided to initiate intercourse. We started off with a nice oral performance (think handjob/blowjob/rimming) and proceeded to move onto more devious acts (think kissing/hugging) when we inevitably stopped because I got a call from my MD (mom-dad) and they explained how they needed me to wire some more money (sigma quadrillionaire mindset), so I interrupted my session and wrote them a digital check via Chime (another company that I side-hustled some VC money at).

In the end, things didn't work out, but we were able to close the deal. MD was proud and the doo doo diligence was well performed.

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Comments (21)

Jul 15, 2021 - 10:49pm

impressive! But, sorry to hear things didn't pan out with her in the end. I'll be heading to NYC soon (think Murray Hill, Hell's Kitchen). Any advice on how to bag some tang?

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Jul 17, 2021 - 11:23am

Is there anybody in this thread that works HC coverage atm? Because I think this post just gave me cancer.

Hear me now, children, for my occupation is of much import. For 82 years I have been an oil man, a ‘baron’ some have called me. Now what does an oil baron do? The answer - crush your enemies! Grind their bones into dirt! Make them regret that they were ever born! Oil is not for the weak - it is the Earth’s milk, and only the strong may suckle at Mother’s teat!

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