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Hit me with your wisdom, monkeys.

Comments (46)

  • JimYoungJr's picture

    Ditch the scholarship, take on debt to go to a target.

    "You Want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari, 355 Cabriolet, What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all kids, I am liquid."

  • alexpasch's picture

    People skills matter just as much, if not more than, intellectual ability (not just for career, but for your overall happiness).

    I actually realized this during my soph year of college and made improving my people skills my top (really, only) priority for that year. In that one year, I went from being a dorky kid who had only had one gf to a popular kid dating one of the hottest girls at my uni. Amazing what you can do if you set your mind to it.

    Consultant to a Fortune 50 Company

  • In reply to alexpasch
    mike55555's picture

    alexpasch wrote:
    People skills matter just as much, if not more than, intellectual ability (not just for career, but for your overall happiness).

    I actually realized this during my soph year of college and made improving my people skills my top (really, only) priority for that year. In that one year, I went from being a dorky kid who had only had one gf to a popular kid dating one of the hottest girls at my uni. Amazing what you can do if you set your mind to it.


    I'm surprised you were able to pull that off. I had a few dorky friends in high school, and I tried my best to help them out, but nothing seemed to work. For the most part, from what I've witnessed social skills are something that come naturally. Congratulations, on making the transformation.

    Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.

    -Niccolo Machiavelli

  • In reply to mike55555
    alexpasch's picture

    mike55555 wrote:
    alexpasch wrote:
    People skills matter just as much, if not more than, intellectual ability (not just for career, but for your overall happiness).

    I actually realized this during my soph year of college and made improving my people skills my top (really, only) priority for that year. In that one year, I went from being a dorky kid who had only had one gf to a popular kid dating one of the hottest girls at my uni. Amazing what you can do if you set your mind to it.


    I'm surprised you were able to pull that off. I had a few dorky friends in high school, and I tried my best to help them out, but nothing seemed to work. For the most part, from what I've witnessed social skills are something that come naturally. Congratulations, on making the transformation.

    They come more naturally to some people, but if you have good instruction, anyone can get a whole lot better. It takes a TON of effort and practice, I can't stress this enough. Literally everything changes and you become a totally different person. It's been 5+ years since my soph year, have had some really good times since then.

    Consultant to a Fortune 50 Company

  • 1man2nv's picture

    I third Jim Young, things would have been a lot easier for me. Back then I thought just being at a really good state school was enough.

    You give me a gift? *BAM* Thank you note! You invite me somewhere? *POW* RSVP! You do me a favor? *WHAM* Favor returned! Do not test my politeness.

  • Dr Barnaby Fulton's picture

    Network your ass off. Going to professor's office hours will boost your GPA and actually save you from studying too much. Go out as much as possible (that doesn't mean black out as much as possible). Remember that you're on a college campus surrounded by good looking women who will put out. Build relationships with people on campus (students, alumni, faculty). They'll help you in the future.

  • In reply to International Pymp
    mike55555's picture

    International Pymp wrote:
    (1) Don't be such an elitist bastard and broaden your horizons beyond rich/jaded prep school kids (2) don't smoke cigarettes and take it easy on your body in general (3) don't spend so much time gambling, the small amounts of money you earn mean nothing and all that time is a complete waste

    New studies show that the tar and nicotine in cigarettes acts as a protective coating against lung cancer.

    Disclosure: I have money tied up in Altria.

    Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.

    -Niccolo Machiavelli

  • gnike0123's picture

    I wish I knew how to move on from a broken relationship. I wouldn't have given up such a prestigious school.

    “The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

  • In reply to alexpasch
    Fin123's picture

    alexpasch wrote:
    mike55555 wrote:
    alexpasch wrote:
    People skills matter just as much, if not more than, intellectual ability (not just for career, but for your overall happiness).

    I actually realized this during my soph year of college and made improving my people skills my top (really, only) priority for that year. In that one year, I went from being a dorky kid who had only had one gf to a popular kid dating one of the hottest girls at my uni. Amazing what you can do if you set your mind to it.


    I'm surprised you were able to pull that off. I had a few dorky friends in high school, and I tried my best to help them out, but nothing seemed to work. For the most part, from what I've witnessed social skills are something that come naturally. Congratulations, on making the transformation.

    They come more naturally to some people, but if you have good instruction, anyone can get a whole lot better. It takes a TON of effort and practice, I can't stress this enough. Literally everything changes and you become a totally different person. It's been 5+ years since my soph year, have had some really good times since then.

    Any tips?

  • D M's picture

    Tip: Google

    I agree with everything Int Pymp said, to start. On top of that, start trying to look at the world as full of your peers and not people ahead of you in life (regardless of whether they're an MD@GS). Treating people like they're a person and not a job title will take you places and your maturity will probably impress people.

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • levelworm's picture

    A list I wish I knew sveral years ago:

    1. Intelligence decides what you can do and people skills decide the percentage of your intelligence that can be utilized.

    2. Party is good, but do not destroy your body by getting drunk frequently.

    3. Good sleep = Stable mood + More energy = Can get more things done

    *In summary of 3 & 4: Health is your most precious treasury. Do not use it up easily.

    4. You cannot live without money, but the most important things can not be bought with it.

    5. Read history if you have a math/phy/chem mind; Learn math/phy/chem if you have an artful mind.

    6. Do not argue if you do not have enough proof. But argue strongly if you do.

    *Additional to 6: All "truths" are only true under certain circumstances. i.e. All truths are subjective.

    7. Think througthly and act quickly. Or at least act quickly.

  • mike55555's picture

    Stop thinking so much. In the end humans are animals. We are born with impulses, and primal urges for a reason. Sometimes it is best for our mental health to act on impulse, and nothing else.

    Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.

    -Niccolo Machiavelli

  • syntheticshit's picture

    1. Talk less and listen more

    2. Make friends that you respect as human beings

    3. Try to figure out what's important in life besides banging chicks and drinking and getting good grades

    4. Just because somebody says shit is hard does not mean it can't be done. If anything it probably means it's worth doing.

    5. Soft skills are incredibly important

  • persimmon's picture

    Try having sex with women before declaring you're gay. Afterwards it's too awkward to try to scratch that curious itch.

    Um, asshole, get your head out of your ass. Just because you're at Harvard doesn't mean your major or grades don't matter.

    Don't major in FemStudies / Queer Theory / Anthropology and study Computer Science instead. The days of the Liberal Arts student getting a good job are over.

    Get good grades. It's really not fucking hard. Just show up to class, go to office hours (this is KEY), and study. Stop thinking you're above the system and that you don't care about grades. You care now that you're a graduate, fool.

    These are all true lessons of my own. Have fun. Don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

  • In reply to mike55555
    International Pymp's picture

    mike55555 wrote:
    International Pymp wrote:
    (1) Don't be such an elitist bastard and broaden your horizons beyond rich/jaded prep school kids (2) don't smoke cigarettes and take it easy on your body in general (3) don't spend so much time gambling, the small amounts of money you earn mean nothing and all that time is a complete waste

    New studies show that the tar and nicotine in cigarettes acts as a protective coating against lung cancer.

    Disclosure: I have money tied up in Altria.

    I actually had the study in mind last night when I was out at a bar in Beijing smoking tons of Zhongnanhais (yes, you can still smoke inside in this country- everywhere).

  • happypantsmcgee's picture

    Make sure your dreams stay big and your worries stay small. Never, EVER let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Slay bitches until you find one that's worth your time. Drink with your buddies because this is the time that you'll bond the most. You will ALWAYS regret what you didn't do a thousand times more than what you did (and that includes that hot asian chick in your calc class). Good luck and wrap your monkey when you're getting funky (seemed fitting given the site)

    More important than any of that though is this; in the words of Jimmy V, "Never give up, don't ever, ever give up"

    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

  • D M's picture

    Oh, agree with happy, nobody can ever tell you what you can/can't do. If you have friends who give you endless amounts of shit, either drop them or learn that what they say doesn't mean shit. They can enjoy their mediocre lives

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • In reply to International Pymp
    mike55555's picture

    International Pymp wrote:

    I actually had the study in mind last night when I was out at a bar in Beijing smoking tons of Zhongnanhais (yes, you can still smoke inside in this country- everywhere).

    That's a hell of a lot better than NYC.

    Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.

    -Niccolo Machiavelli

  • In reply to alexpasch
    leveredarb's picture

    alexpasch wrote:
    People skills matter just as much, if not more than, intellectual ability (not just for career, but for your overall happiness).

    I actually realized this during my soph year of college and made improving my people skills my top (really, only) priority for that year. In that one year, I went from being a dorky kid who had only had one gf to a popular kid dating one of the hottest girls at my uni. Amazing what you can do if you set your mind to it.


    this is good advice. altough given that you need to point out how key social skills are in every one of your posts you still come across as horribly insecure.

    id also second international pymp, there is more to the world than other preppy kids going into finance.

    get your shit together early, network, and stay on top of the recruiting game, early fuck ups make it much harder later on. getting into IBD is mostly about being prepared and being interested early, it doesnt require much intelligence, and whilst good networking is key, an early start and being prepared is probably most important.

    Also never mix vodka and beer :X(altough by the time you get to college you should have figured this one out ;))

  • ah's picture

    drink less read more..

    I don't accept sacrifices and I don't make them. ... If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade at all. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

  • brownbanker's picture

    Do not get anything above one underage drinking ticket or a PI. This is as far firms are willing to forgive you. As you can tell from the mutlitude of background check posts on this website, that shit will bend you over and fuck you hard.

    Maintain relationships with professors. If they are good people, establishing and maintaining a connection will do you wonders in the future. Besides, who else to take solid advice from regarding your career and what not than ex-professionals in your related fields who were good enough to land a job at your university.

    At all times, be in one significant leadership role. The obstacles you face, the determination to improve your organization, and working with delegates are some of the most rewarding experiences. It will test you and make you a better individual.

    Get to know people from other schools at your university. When you're spending all your time drinking the same koolaid as every other b-school kid, you get brainwashed. You learn more get the opportunity to meet people that actually have different personalities.

    Slay as many slampieces as possible. Pussy will never get any easier (unless you work at Goldman/KKR in which case you might as well be Zeus himself, just don't impregnate).

    Just enjoy college man, you will never again play cornhole with a case of natty on a Tuesday afternoon in April listening to Third Eye Blind and sorostitutes flashing you for distraction... fuck.

  • In reply to brownbanker
    Dr Barnaby Fulton's picture

    brownbanker wrote:
    Do not get anything above one underage drinking ticket or a PI. This is as far firms are willing to forgive you. As you can tell from the mutlitude of background check posts on this website, that shit will bend you over and fuck you hard.

    I got two underage drinking tickets and PI. Didn't stop me from getting an offer. I wouldn't recommend doing it, but I don't think it will necessarily bend you over and fuck you hard.

  • dickenscharles741's picture

    "Hold on a sec...you mean they made all this money without doing IB --> PE --> HBS --> PE --> God?
    How is this possible?!?!?!!??" - TheKing

  • FeedMeDealFlow's picture

    "My name's Ralph Cox, and I'm from where ever's not gonna get me hit"