Drop outs and non targets. (How to make stupid money on Wall Street)

So you want to work on Wall Street; but you have a terrible gpa from a non target school?

A six month slavery stint is calling your name! Today I came to find out there is people in retail making seven figures a year. That's more than your MD at Goldman's TMT top bucket bonus. Forget about the private equity MD. The only thing that makes more money is a hedge fund.

Essentially this is what you need to do.

Connect for your boss boiler room style (Remember this is all legal; don't get stupid ideas now).

Get licensed and SELL stock a lot of it and all day long. Have someone dial all day for you all day long and sell good stock (that goes up).

Call all your accounts and tell them to buy more stock (Stock that goes up is the most important factor here). If you are making money for them they will have no problem doing that.

Take gains before institutions and introduce equity derivatives to the client ( warning get the proper license to trade options) make them more money and everyone is happy.

If you charge them the maximum legal amount of every trade for comissions and you are running at least 10 million. You could be taking at least $500,000.00 per month. (provided you sell the sizzle and not the steak). Do not churn and burn!

There is more to it and its hard work but that ivy in PE could be shining yiur shoes in less than 2 years; provided you are a good sales man.

This being said im quitting investment banking to be a stock jockey.

There is a couple of firms where you can have a mixed book of clients (institutional and high networth individuals).

What is the point of working in I banking?!

Im jumping to the sales side.

6 Comments
 
Best Response
barboonSo you want to work on Wall Street; but you have a terrible gpa from a non target school?

A six month slavery stint is calling your name! Today I came to find out there is people in retail making seven figures a year. That's more than your MD at Goldman's TMT top bucket bonus. Forget about the private equity MD. The only thing that makes more money is a hedge fund.

Essentially this is what you need to do.

Connect for your boss boiler room style (Remember this is all legal; don't get stupid ideas now).

Get licensed and SELL stock a lot of it and all day long. Have someone dial all day for you all day long and sell good stock (that goes up).

Call all your accounts and tell them to buy more stock (Stock that goes up is the most important factor here). If you are making money for them they will have no problem doing that.

Take gains before institutions and introduce equity derivatives to the client ( warning get the proper license to trade options) make them more money and everyone is happy.

If you charge them the maximum legal amount of every trade for comissions and you are running at least 10 million. You could be taking at least $500,000.00 per month. (provided you sell the sizzle and not the steak). Do not churn and burn!

There is more to it and its hard work but that ivy in PE could be shining yiur shoes in less than 2 years; provided you are a good sales man.

This being said im quitting investment banking to be a stock jockey.

There is a couple of firms where you can have a mixed book of clients (institutional and high networth individuals).

What is the point of working in I banking?!

Im jumping to the sales side.

With $10 million AUM, are you joking ?

 

Est nostrum consectetur suscipit nobis voluptates eos. Architecto rerum repellat incidunt voluptatem rem aliquid. Reiciendis non et nesciunt fuga commodi. Quidem quos et sint et dolores esse asperiores. A deleniti possimus aut dolorem. Ut corporis dolores architecto quasi.

Career Advancement Opportunities

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.9%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.4%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 03 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.9%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.4%

Professional Growth Opportunities

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.9%
  • JPMorgan No 97.4%

Total Avg Compensation

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (57) $264
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (28) $184
  • Intern/Summer Associate (16) $161
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”