gender transitioned between summer and FT, getting flack from co-workers
Posting as anonymous for obvious reasons.
I interned at a very well-known infrastructure IB group last summer (think BB/EB) and fortunately received a return offer. Over the following academic year, I transitioned (top and bottom) to being a man. Obviously, this has been extremely difficult for numerous reasons, but nothing has compared to what I've put up with since starting full-time earlier this month.
Upon noticing my changes, I immediately began receiving comments about how I was hired "because I was a woman", "now you'll actually have to put in the work" and more. Two associates (who were analysts when I was an intern) are particularly aggressive toward me, going out of their way to remark on my clothes, voice, etc. I even had one MD (who is a jerk to everyone) make a few snide remarks. However, bank culture being what it is, I don't feel like they are being more harsh toward me than anyone else in particular. The only difference is that in my case, it is directly targeted at my gender transition, which seems particularly insensitive as opposed to someone's quirks, favorite sports team, etc.
Do I contact HR, escalate to another MD in my etc.? What are my options here? Hoping to keep my job and address this at the same time if possible.
Sorry OP, but if I were in there shoes I would make fun of you too...
Tfw you misunderstand your analyst class talking about “transitioning to the bi side” and want to be ahead of the curve
Jesus wtf has happened to our world man
Hey guys I recently switched my gender to flamethrower. Can anyone advise on how to deal with reactions from colleagues?
Multiple people at your firm are making insensitive jokes about your very personal decision?
I would assume 99% of bankers would never come close to even mentioning this since it be career suicide if something like that got out... The fact that you've had multiple bankers make comments is hard to believe.
Some people may tell you to take it to HR but the realities are that unless you're ready to sue for harassment then that is likely a career limiting move.
The advice really depends on how long you plan to stay in banking and at the firm.
Good luck... If this is true, very sad and shocking you have to deal with this.
Good luck
Not OP, but curious as to how going to HR is a career limiting move?
HR is never your friend. HR will always screw you to protect the company, never forget that. In this case specifically, going to HR may help with getting people to stop making snide comments, but will likely leave a bad taste in people's mouth. Similar to how tattling is seen. Agree with the other commenter that it really depends on if OP wants to stay in banking post-analyst years.
You have all my support OP. I myself transitioned to a toaster over the summer and now interns are throwing slices of bread at me when seniors aren't around. Once I made an error on a slide and my VP commented "looks like you burned that toast, boyo". Everyone has seemingly started to use weird expressions like "spread it thin", "butter it up", "that's my jam". I am considering legal action
dang. sorry to hear that. sounds like a crummy situation.
I hope this isn't a joke post given the type of posts incels who didn't get internships like to make on here.
OP, I recently also filed a harassment complaint with HR on the basis of a protected class.
Understand the following:
1. Document everything and email your peers saying "Hi ABC, I found the XYZ comment you made on 123 date offensive because XYZ. I would appreciate it if these comments stopped" (that's clunky verbiage but you get the gist of it). They might stop if you have addressed it in writing as they do not want that type of email getting forwarded to HR later down the line. If it happens again, send a second email and CC your staffer. Leave a paper trail proving the pervasiveness of these comments. Even filing a complaint to a supervisor, not HR, provides you legal protection against retaliation.
2. Try to resolve things internally with the staffer before going to HR. I would keep the focus on peers at your level but send an email to yourself on your personal email with the MD's comments. If you go to HR, people will see you as untrustworthy and walk on eggshells around you bc they will think you will report everything to HR.
3. If you do go to HR, they will likely investigate and find that no harassment happened even if it did because admitting harassment happened at your company makes them legally liable for fixing it. Do you think they want to find your MD as having harassed you and then have to fire him, a revenue generator? Furthermore, HR and your team may retaliate against you for going to HR through poor reviews, poor bonus, poor staffings, etc.
4. Try to get a free consultation with an employment attorney who can better speak to laws in your state so you know how to document things (some states are one-party consent only for recording).
Sorry to hear that. I transitioned after my SA and now identify as CEO of my bank. I get bullied as well so I fully empathize with you.
Bearish Investment Banking
As a moneysexual, I have decided to take it a step further and completely transition to my true identity as a billionaire. I will be taking donations via cash, check, or cumcoin to make my personal dream everyone’s reality. Thank you 🙏 🤑
Wtf did i just read. Why are people on here so fucking callous and disgusting. Maybe try understanding how gender dysphoria works before saying shit like this.
its a copy paste meme text
you must be fun to work with
Your life must be pretty shit if you feel the need to talk to people like this. Hope you find peace bro
Can you send me a DM please?
Do you have onlyfans?
So we can support you by every means and platform available during this difficult time for you
With the hours worked in this job, people have a lot less appetite for this sort of thing than they might otherwise have. If you want people to support your delusion, you’re in the wrong line of work. There’s no time to pretend that 1+1=3. People have to live in reality here.
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