Has my ex-GF moved on
This is gonna sound like a total cuck post, but this is killing me and I’m low on LSD so I would really appreciate some advice.
My first GF ever and I broke up because I didn’t want to come back to NYC this semester. I wanted to take advantage of the virtual school to live with my parents this semester and she told me that she didn’t want to do long-distance anymore and we broke up. At first I was all good, but slowly I’ve been beginning to regret it and miss her a lot now.
I know that I always want what I can’t have, but I am terrified she has moved on. I can’t stand the thought of her having moved on before I’m able to come back to the city after this semester. I’m graduating this semester and will be starting full-time in February, but when I told her that she still told me there is absolutely no chance of us getting back together.
Does this mean she has moved on and I should just suck it up and get over it? Part of me continues to think that her and my story isn’t over yet but it’s the constant agony of not knowing if she’s moved on or if there’s still hope that is driving me crazy. Furthermore I don’t even know if I want to get back together with her, I’ve been working out like crazy over the quarantine and feel like I can probably do better than her when I start working full-time anyway. I’m just so nervous though that it’ll be hard to meet people while I’m working cuz I’ve heard you shouldn’t date people you work with. I’m sorry for that cuck post, thanks for reading it if you did.
Went through a similar situation - college girlfriend and I split right after graduation, on less than amicable terms.
Move on. As cliché as it sounds, work on yourself. Especially since you're entering banking, where you can be prone to unhealthy habits (drinking, expensed meals, etc.), make time to work out, get a hobby, etc. It may seem like the end of the world now, but time heals all and life goes on.
Is smoking weed and microdosing LSD okay though? I gotta take addy’s to treat my ADHD during the banking hours and weed helps with the comedown. The LSD gives me a hella inexpensive kick compared to coke (honestly coke is such a waste of money, $70/gram vs $6/tab which is good for at least 5-10 micro doses, plus once Biden’s tax plan comes in us bankers aren’t gonna be able to afford as much coke anyway) a
Yeah bro sounds like you have a minor drug problem. Get it sorted. I believe in you.
Was in the same type of mindset for a while right after college when me and my then girlfriend broke up - holding on and just hoping that there was a chance we’d get back together. I wish I had just moved on rather than trying to reach out every now and then - would’ve made those years much easier and after I had (after ~2 years) and started dating someone else I’ve never had thoughts of my ex again and never been happier. Cheers
Facts. You already know what the answer is to this one
Yes, she's moved on. And so should you. Quit being a cuck.
Also you didn't get dumped because you didn't want to come back to NYC. She just found someone else and used the first excuse to dump you.
Facts.
If her only choice is an analyst or minimum wage waiter bro she wasn't worth it either way.
She's probably polishing the chode of some associate or VP
EDIT: OPs original post that I replied to said something along the lines of "she probably has a new BF but he probably makes less than me so its all Gucci". It did not say "facts"
Bro. Delete all pics of her from your phone. Don’t think about her. Get over her, NYC has millions of women and you’ll be fine. It’s very common the way you’re thinking (literally a replica of when my first gf and me broke up) and with time, everything improved and I was ultimately better off for it. You’ll be good
On an alternate note, how are you still in school and capable of landing a role as an "Analyst 2 in IB - Gen"?
I’m in Corp Dev at a F15 company, so I just picked a random tag for WSO. Lowkey glad I’m not in banking, now that Biden’s president all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing so I’m glad I’m making six figures, working 50 hours a week and am now single.
Dude you are so delusional lmao
Stop slandering the Analyst 2 in IB - Gen title dammit
yes, she has moved on...she is having sex with other guys from Tinder and Bumble...a few new guys a week...every week.
there is no going back....she is dead and gone...go meet other girls
Yeah once I get tf out of my parents house I’m building a tinder premium bot in Python to maximize my returns. But just for my chauvinistic male ego, is it really possible that she’s getting out there? Like honestly if she’s stupid enough to be hooking up with strangers on tinder and bumble during a goddamn pandemic then I tbh don’t even want her back.
my wife has lots of single girl friends...they are all going on dates and having sex with multiple guys
It was only a matter of time before this thread was hijacked by the incels
i'm not an incel...my wife just has lots of horny friends.
You should have brought her home with you. You could impress her with your pikachu bed sheets.
Unfortunately your method of thinking and love has been dead for a long time. I have a similar situation, once I matured and started getting practical I realized that it's nothing personal and it's just an age thing. From the ages of 18 to 25 girls are just going to naturally act loose and play it openly. You have to understand that man, for better or for worse, they are not loyal to you nor is a girl exclusively yours. For over 50% of girls in general and 90%+ of city/college/urban girls the culture just isn't like that. Don't even take it personally, they're just bound to act like that given the circumstances. That's the "what do I do" answer, as per why they act like this(?), well that matters less but my guess is that it's a mix of social media, youth, faux independency and liberation. Cannot put everything back inside once Pandora's Box has been opened; once you start looking at this more rationally and cold (sadly this is the most efficient way to think about this situation) you'll come to understand that it's better to just play your role and "pump and dump" most girls in your 20s. It'll be rare for you to find a loyal companion under the banker lifestyle, but it's the harsh reality for most of us that want to settle down or seek stability without having to deal with women with body counts over 30 and just wanting us for our money. I can elaborate more, but this is just me and my friends's experience.
Is this a joke? You're both kids.
You went back to parents to save a few bucks and knowingly ruined your relationship. Your ex couldn't handle LDR.
What the fuck is that? Go get you some girls (or guys) with the saved bucks.
the guys who are deliberately trying to make you picture her with other guys are such fucking betas. real men don't think about a woman who aren't in their lives anymore. don't think about her. Don't care what she's doing. you don't have to worry about fucking other girls or one-upping her because you'd just be doing that in response to her and real men take actions because they want to, not because they have something to prove.
In the end of the day you can control your mind to not let her or anyone else affect you and that's a powerful tool. Went through a bad breakup which got me into stoicism and it's a game changer having the ability to not giving a fuck about anything unless you want to. like other comments said, focus on yourself. you're starting your career now its a pivotal moment in your life. Write down a mini definition of the man you want to be, then break that down into actions you can take to build yourself into that man. For me I wrote that I wanted to be fearless and not let anything prevent me from something, so I started reading about mastering fear and engaging in hobbies that were dangerous and freaked me out such as flying planes. I was too focused on not dying to give a shit about some girl. Also seeing myself succeed built up confidence because I was being the man I wanted to be and I started respecting myself a lot more.
TLDR : learn how to control your mind to not dwell on her and use this as an opportunity to kick start your life and be the fucking man you want to be. Also don't ask for dating advice on WSO if you want people to take it seriously. Good luck OP, if you want to talk more lmk and Ill pm you
lsd is great man i've been tripping a lot through this pandemic
Can’t tell if this is trolling... but here to offer some female perspective. Based on your original post and follow-up comments, it doesn’t really seem like you harbor a lot of goodwill towards your ex, or that you actually love/respect/miss her? Instead, you seem hyper-focused on somehow confirming that she’s worse off without you and that you’re doing better than her. Jealousy is part of human nature, but use this energy to focus on bettering yourself irrespective of what she’s up to. My last serious relationship had a pretty nasty break up and it sucked at first, but the best thing I ever did was use it as motivation to independently become who I wanted to be. Helps you move on in a healthy way and is way more productive. Might even help you get a new girlfriend in the process.
This is a very insightful observation, thank you for this. I absolutely agree that the most productive way for me to use this time is to better myself, and I have been gyming religiously because one thing that I know for sure always lifts my mood is exercise. I guess I'm not really harboring much goodwill for my ex because I still deeply resent her for breaking up with me. She and I had adopted a cat together and I even bought her a bed and TV for her apartment lol. I know those are just material things, and you can't buy love, but I can't stand the thought that she is now with other guys on that bed I bought her and is letting other guys play with our cat. Like we were together for a long time, and the fact that she broke up with me just because I wasn't willing to come back to New York this semester just demonstrates to me how little I must have meant to her. It's made me really resentful, and it makes me wish I had never been with her in the first place. I used to think all her words were out of love, but now I can see that she really didn't give a shit about me and is ready to move on to the next guy who can buy her things.
Then honestly it sounds like you dodged a bullet. When my ex cheated on me, I was tempted to stick around just to “prove” to myself that he really did love me, I was better than the other girl, etc. - but I realized that would ultimately just delay me from moving on to better things. Several relationships in life don’t work out, but they are always a learning experience... so reflect on what you learned and move forward instead of dwelling on something that isn’t good for you. Six months from now, you’ll hopefully look back and be thankful this happened when it did. And above all remember that a significant other should be complementary to your happiness and self worth, but never the sole source of it.
As you start smashing all that new tail as a single guy should, you won't feel bad anymore. You also will be able to more easily forgive her for the guys that's banging her right now.
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