Is There Anything More Useless....?
Than a VP who habitually doesn't CC you on email chains, requests files from the client, doesn't save them to the drive or upload them to the data room and then proceeds to send you on wild goose chases to find the files again for him? And you have to spend a cumulative hour or two almost every day double and triple checking all of the various VDRs, DropBoxes, email chains, drive folders, etc. for it just to make sure you haven't missed it even though you're 90% certain that it's just him being a shithead.
If so, let me know, so I can avoid doing that shit when I'm a VP. That is all, happy Friday gents.
Comments on shapes and colors, font sizes, spacing. The amount of time it takes to type out that comment, the vp could’ve already made the edit themselves
And the good ones do, because as usual you fucking suck at getting it right the first time, and it would absolutely take more time explaining to you how to do it.
Go back to the RE forum dude, you don't even know how to walk through 3 statements, I don't need you telling me about how to do my job in ib
I’ll just offer up that when I’m providing comments to a junior and it’s a mistake or incorrect I’ll provide them the feedback to fix even if it’s takes longer. That’s how you learn. If I’ve just changed my mind and want things differently, yea I’ll do it myself.
A 7th year VP. He was so understaffed his main task seemed to be logging analysts bowel movement KPIs in the office bathroom.
Needless to say, he got “slowly pushed out”
There should be a special bucket for scumholes like this
LOL wtf?!
That’s absolutely disgusting and unacceptable.
Yeah he’s finished..
"slowly pushed out" just like the analysts' shits he was tracking
Yes, that seems to be correct lol
that's just a fucking incompetent
You're describing someone that just straight-up sucks at their job. Have they been with the group for long? I would be surprised if they last more than 2 years, 3 max. That type of incompetence never lasts, even at the VP level.
Also good on you for carrying the weight. That also doesn't go unnoticed (usually...)
When my vp asks to create 5 iterations of a key slide and reconfigure all the analyses on the page and the backup excels, only to send it to MD who tells him to revert back to the original. Why not run the idea by the md first??
Because many of the MDs do not actually know what they want before they see it. I must admit the MD that likes their book the same each way is rare but amazing creature to work with / for
It depends on the MD but usually they just want a product and go from there rather than running it by them (in my experience).
Correct. Unless they have no idea what they want and you will be held hostage in iteration hell…
Hi youre so right. Analyst 1 here. I’m typing this for my Vp because he’s been a vp for 25 years and still uses a blackberry. Oh he says kick rocks kid
You work for a cuck bro
Yes. HR is more useless
There are many more useless things in our lives.
I could write a book on the irks I get from my vp
Just ask him to forward you all / any emails you are not cced for filing purposes. He will appreciate pro-activity and you will finally get some sanity back. Sometime, I actually do send emails to client and not cc others as it gets me the solution quicker. Then I forward to an analyst for saving or fyi. The guy got really offended about this but then once he worked for another VP who is exactly like the one you described, his appreciated my work-arounds lol
The female orgasm...serves absolutely no evolutionary purpose and according to most actual scientists (Not fake "Doctorates" like Jill Biden) it does not exist at all. Thus, I conclude, the female orgasm is more useless than your empty suit of a Vice President. Perhaps send him a note today - "Dear Brian, you are the most useless thing since the female orgasm, but at least we have found something with less purpose than your alleged "work" for our group. Best Regards, Patel"
Anything else I can help with?
I think it does have purpose and exist however I am not sure as its been 20 years and I haven't gotten laid yet
Eh you probably wouldn't know even if you did get laid one day lol
You are still young & inexperienced m'boy. It has been 35 years (10th Year Associate) and I haven't gotten laid and it's only in the past 10 years that I realized that women's orgasms don't exist anyway so I'm only missing out on half as much as I thought
clearly your female experience is as limited as M&A experience
Had a VP running around bullpen like a clown asking analysts how to calculate free cash flow before a meeting lmao
Lol why wasn’t he able to calculate fcf?
Personally I find the "Let's add a data table!!!!" guy annoying as fuck. Shit slows down the entire spreadsheet painfully and there's always that one guy who just has such a hard on for them, or constantly suggests functionalities that require circularity and make doing actual work in the model absolute hell.
Hit Alt + F + T. Arrow key down once for Formulas. Change your "workbook calculation" to Automatic except for data tables and also enable iterative calculation. Data tables now will only refresh if you hit F9. And they won't slow everything down.
When I was an analyst, a VP sent me a whole page of tedious comments the day before a pitch. Nothing of actual importance, just odd formatting requests on slides. Unfortunately for him, I had some other deliverables of higher importance that day, and would not be able to do any of the changes he asked for on that turn so I let him know this in advance. Since there was noone else on the junior end to work on the deck, I think he pulled an all nighter just to make that set of formatting changes he wanted, only for the MD to scream at him the next morning for some other miscellaneous slide he was supposed to present lol
lol
Anything HR/Compliance-related but this is a very close 2nd.
Usefulness is subjective and can vary from person to person. What one may consider useless, another might find valuable or meaningful. It's important to recognize that our perspectives and priorities differ, and what may not serve a particular purpose for one individual could be essential or enjoyable for someone else. So, while something may seem pointless to one person, it may hold significance or joy for another.
Electric thread
Have had a fair number of useless and incompetent VPs myself. Clearly been unstaffed from any and every possible meaningful project yet they’ll still bark and scream at you about irrelevant sh*t instead of doing the logical thing of trying to find a new job. Completely insufferable and miserable to work with
Have had a vp who was very weak technically. A lot of his calculations and analyses were incorrect and I had to spend lots of time to correct his mistakes
The guy who makes constant pitch deck revisions so you get to v50 just by the first turn, while the other vps know just to create a few deck iterations
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