Junior Silent Bonus Protest @BofA/UBS
We are demotivated but we need to find jobs before we up and out to new shops. Here’s what we can do (hypothetically):
A guide to maximizing inefficiency while appearing productive.
1. Slow Down Decision-Making (Without Looking Suspicious)
• Ask seemingly smart but unnecessary questions in meetings:
• “Can we double-check if this precedent transaction is truly comparable?”
• “Should we reevaluate the comps methodology before moving forward?”
• Push for additional layers of review before sending out anything.
• Request client feedback on minor details to delay deliverables.
2. Overcomplicate Simple Tasks
• Format PowerPoint slides to be pixel-perfect, consuming hours.
• Demand additional “sanity checks” on numbers that were already signed off.
• Change fonts, colors, or alignment, then ask for a full team review.
• Suggest every deliverable be converted into multiple formats (Excel, Word, PDF).
3. Turn Small Issues Into Large Debates
• Question the logic behind existing models:
• “Have we fully explored the alternative DCF scenarios?”
• “Should we build a separate model to validate our assumptions?”
• Argue over irrelevant details in decks:
• “Would the title look better in bold or underlined?”
• “Should we use ‘estimated’ or ‘projected’ on this slide?”
4. Clog the Email System With Unnecessary Traffic
• CC everyone on minor requests.
• Send separate emails for each question instead of bundling them.
• Reply-all with “Just confirming receipt” or “Thanks!”
• If someone asks for information, respond with “Let’s discuss live” but never schedule a time.
5. Exploit Compliance & Bureaucracy
• Ask if every client interaction needs compliance approval.
• Flag minor wording issues in disclaimers, forcing legal reviews.
• Suggest additional disclosures in presentations, delaying delivery.
• Bring up data security concerns randomly, stalling projects.
6. Waste Time in Meetings (Without Getting Caught)
• Always ask one last question right when the meeting is about to end.
• Repeat what others just said, but in a slightly different way.
• Call for a follow-up meeting to “align on next steps,” even when unnecessary.
• Suggest pre-meetings before client calls, then post-meetings to recap.
7. Maximize Model Confusion
• Make simple Excel formulas needlessly complex (nested IFs, extra INDEX-MATCH).
• Break up clean formulas into multiple unnecessary steps.
• Hardcode some numbers while leaving others dynamic—just enough to create chaos.
• Use inconsistent formatting so nobody knows which cells are inputs vs. outputs.
8. Disrupt Workflow With Last-Minute Changes
• Near submission time, propose “one final tweak” that requires hours of rework.
• Insist on rechecking numbers even if they were already approved.
• Ask for new analysis just before the deadline.
9. Ensure Team Burnout (While Doing Less Work Yourself)
• Constantly say “I think we need a bit more polish” even if the deck is fine.
• Delegate minor edits to analysts but act like they’re crucial.
• Pretend to be busy when others need help, but jump in when credit is available.
10. Keep Staffing a Mess
• Suggest that a “fresh set of eyes” look at every deliverable, adding unnecessary people to projects.
• Push to reassign work midway through so that new people have to catch up.
• When asked to staff a project, say “I think we need a quick sync to determine bandwidth”, delaying decisions.
Outcome:
• Deadlines keep getting pushed due to constant “improvements.”
• Senior bankers get frustrated but can’t pinpoint the issue.
• Clients sense inefficiency, hurting credibility.
• Morale plummets as analysts and associates burn out on unnecessary work.
• The saboteur remains “hardworking” and “detail-oriented” in reviews.
All hypothetical, of course. Totally not workplace sabotage.
Based on the most insightful WSO content, this hypothetical guide outlines a satirical approach to workplace inefficiency, cleverly disguised as productivity. While it humorously highlights tactics to slow down processes, overcomplicate tasks, and create unnecessary bottlenecks, it's important to note the potential consequences: strained team dynamics, frustrated leadership, and damaged client relationships.
If you're feeling demotivated or undervalued, consider more constructive approaches to address workplace dissatisfaction, such as open communication with leadership, seeking mentorship, or exploring new opportunities. For those looking to transition, networking and skill-building are key to securing roles at other firms. If you're serious about making a move, resources like the WSO Networking Guide or interview prep courses can help you stand out.
For more insights, you can explore similar discussions on WSO forums.
Sources: The Work Always Gets Done, The Work Always Gets Done, Strategy& Ex Employee - Q&A, Why do we lie about how many hours we work?, WFH Grind & Productivity Hacks
This approach just F. the VP life and doesn’t move a needle on MD perspective of things (the real decision maker on your comps) But if you go with this approach, as you mentioned, securing a job first is crucial since it could do a lot of harm. we have an analyst who consistently behaves this way—posing as asking the right questions but being extremely inefficient—and she is always ranked at the bottom of the chart.
If everyone does it, it’s hard to tell
VP: Are you silently protesting or just dumb?
This just sounds like what every mediocre employee is already doing.
I did quite enjoy:
If someone asks for information, respond with “Let’s discuss live” but never schedule a time.
Hardcode some numbers while leaving others dynamic—just enough to create chaos.
Since you still have to finish the work and total amount of work won’t go down (or likely increase) - you’ll just get paid even less and work more (albeit inefficiently). And obviously get laid off at the right time (analysts and new associates aren’t safe anymore btw)
You end up nudging seniors towards accepting longer timelines gradually
Too many Randall Weems types in junior ranks for any junior unity to work.
How to get laid off 101. Might work at BOFA since that bank has more associates than seemingly any other rank, but given that UBS has fired a lot of juniors for "redundancy" I would seriously reconsider this.
Beyond that, this just makes everyone’s lives worse. Longer hours, inefficiency, and wasted time don’t help anyone. Your bonus isn’t determined by how much you grind, it’s set by your group head and the fees your team generates. Inefficiency leads to lower fees, which means lower bonuses for everyone, creating a vicious cycle.
At UBS, top-bucket pay at all levels has been above the street for full-service banks, so it’s not like good comp isn’t achievable, you just need to be the best in your class. If you expect 100%+ bonuses below the ED level, go to a boutique. Full-service banks haven’t paid those since 2021 and will not be going forward given industry trends.
The reality is IB comp has shifted: top-performing seniors are making more, underperforming seniors, and all juniors at full-service banks are making less. Compensation is now concentrated at the top. I know VPs and Ds who got terrible bonuses due to no deal flow, while others exceeded pre-COVID comp because they brought in revenue. The only way to get good comp in IB these days is to simply bring in revenue and fees; everyone else is treated as a cost center by management.
You sound like exactly the type of out-of-touch, self-important clown that makes juniors hate this job. No surprise you’re defending a system where you get all the upside while juniors do the grunt work and get scraps.
Your whole argument boils down to “Work yourself to death, but since you don’t bring in revenue, don’t expect to get paid.” Convenient for you. Maybe if you spent more time actually winning deals instead of justifying why juniors should be overworked and underpaid, your bonus wouldn’t be riding on the backs of people you clearly don’t respect.
And let’s be real, inefficiency isn’t the problem. It’s seniors like you who think “leadership” means squeezing every last drop out of juniors while making excuses for why their pay keeps shrinking. Hope you enjoy your empty pipeline while the smart ones walk away.
Glad to know that UBS bonuses sucks because the Executive Directors are too busy defending the firm on WSO to bring in some revenue. Awesome!
So... how's this any different from what we all do on the daily? You always have a member in your team whether junior of senior that haggles over most if not all of your points
It’s not, but we need more of it. It’s sad that this sounds like bussiness as usual. Makes the industry look fairly inefficient
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