Lol I can't get over a girl that it didn't work with
So I went out with this girl for a couple of months a year ago and she was smoking hot but tbh not wifey material at all. It was super exciting while I was in it, she kept saying how good we looked together, and she was really seductive. Anyways it didn't work out for various reasons and now she's dating someone else that she knows from a long time ago. I knew it wouldn't really work with her but I can't shake th efeeling, I even tried messaging her a month after we broke things off but she was already dating the next guy by then.
I am talking to someone new now who's great but for some reason I can't help but read the texts I had with her and scroll through her pics sometimes and it always makes me feel like I screwed up pretty bad. I started working harder and going to the gym more as a result and feel like I've improved overall to get over it but tbh the feeling is still stuck with me.
pics?
your first succubus. adorable.
It sounds like you're caught in a loop of nostalgia and self-doubt, which is super common after a relationship ends, especially when it was intense and exciting. Based on the most helpful WSO content, here’s what you need to know and do:
Stop Romanticizing the Past: You’ve already acknowledged that she wasn’t “wifey material” and that the relationship likely wouldn’t have worked long-term. Yet, you’re holding onto the idea of her because of the excitement and chemistry. Remember, you’re not missing her—you’re missing the feeling she gave you. That’s a big difference.
Cut the Digital Ties: Scrolling through old texts and pictures is like picking at a scab—it keeps the wound open. Block or mute her on social media if you have to. Out of sight, out of mind is a real thing, and it works.
Focus on the Present: You’re already talking to someone new who seems great. Don’t let the ghost of your past relationship sabotage something that could be meaningful. Give this new person a fair shot without comparing her to someone who wasn’t right for you.
Channel the Energy Productively: It’s awesome that you’ve been hitting the gym and working harder. Keep that momentum going, but make sure you’re doing it for you and not as a way to “prove” something to her or yourself. Self-improvement is most effective when it’s about becoming the best version of yourself, not about someone else.
Shift Your Perspective: As one WSO thread wisely pointed out, ruminating on the past is wasted energy. Instead, think about where you want to be in 5 years—mentally, physically, and emotionally—and take steps every day to get there. The future is where your focus should be, not on what’s already done.
Give Yourself Grace: It’s okay to feel stuck for a while. Breakups, even short-term ones, can leave a lasting impact. But don’t let it define you. As one ex-IB MD shared, “Winners forget they’re in a race; they just love to run.” Focus on enjoying the process of growth and self-discovery.
You’ve already made strides in improving yourself—keep going. The feeling will fade with time, especially as you invest in new relationships and experiences. You’ve got this!
Sources: Please tell me it gets better, Feels like every facet of my life has fallen apart this year, I met a girl and I don’t want to do this anymore, Advice from an ex-IB MD: Who succeeds on Wall Street, Dealing with a tough breakup while working in IB?
It will fade, it always does. Delete the texts, work on yourself, and focus on the next one.
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