Should I fucking marry her now or what? What would YOU do in my shoes, fellow monkeys?
Don't want to waste your time so I'm gonna keep it short (you can ask me for details if you actually wish to read more):
I'm 24, been dating my girlfriend for 2 years - met in college. I'm a 2nd year IB analyst at a major BB. My girlfriend is 2 years older than me and has just graduated from a top 10 law school and got a job with a corporate law firm in NYC. She's nice, smart, hot, and (hopefully now) financially independent. If I actually make it in this business, I should be pretty well off like many of you in a few years so I really could do without any gold diggers who just want to find some banker to marry and fuck the poolboy while we crank pitchbooks at 4am :P
Anyways, my girlfriend pretty much is perfect in every way and now she's going to be financially independent. If anything, she'll have a 120k-160k salary and have better job security than me. Of course I can always find another girl but seeing how most monkeys like us don't get much opportunities to date or really avoid gold diggers, I kind of feel like I should really commit and lock her in.
Well, what would you do in my shoes? I mean, I really love this girl and I believe she's marriage-material but at the same time, is this too fucking early or what? I just don't want to lose her or be stuck with my secretary as the only available option due to my busy life when I turn 30.
I've heard that marriages have the best chance for long-term success overall if both parties were 25+ on wedding day. I know it sounds weird, but it's because people's brains don't fully develop until then and aren't able to completely make the best decisions until that point. I'd recommend being with her but not tying the knot til after 25 if she still makes you happy by then.
^This. You're 24, go for it. If you like someone enough why not? Besides, you could just have a longer engagement to see how it all works out. People these days are engaged for years even.
2 years isn't long enough to tell if she is crazy or not.
Have you lived wit her yet? Is she pushing for it?
You can wait until both happen...
Oh, and way to go on bagging an older broad!
Hearing that your girlfriend is perfect in every way and that she's a lawyer makes me feel skeptical... just my 2 cents. The heart wants what it wants though... go for it.
There's two marriage threads on the main screen. Knowing divorce Statistics, look like one of you will be future ex-husband/wife
Honestly? Do you think this is the best place to get an opion on that?
Either you love her or you don't... only you can tell...
It's not like she won't understand your work schedule - she's a lawyer. If you like her enough, I say go for it. Or, if you're really that worried, ask if she's cool with waiting.
Her being successful is the best thing because, worst case scenario, her taking half of your (combined) shit isn't bad when she's pretty much just taking her own earnings.
Just thinking aloud.
^Haha, she's a lawyer, she'd figure out how to take everything.
And he's a banker, he should know how to hide everything. Haha
She smart, has a great job, you love her... as long as she's good in bed and won't lose her sex drive at 30 then by all means tie the knot
surely you cant be askign a forum for help on this type of thing. Also, 90% of your post is about her being financially sound, is that the number one priority?
your post, the tone, the rational behind your thought process, they way you project yourself as well as her and ultimately your decision to post this on WSO indicates you are not ready for marriage.
correct. i've been fucking in a fucking intense mood for the last 2 fucking weeks. i've survived a fucking layoff here and this month hasn't been fucking easy. im just really fucking really fucking really intense. am i fucking ready for fucking marriage now or what?
.....and for those of you who actually wanted to be helpful: thanks a lot!! your opinions make a hell lot of sense.
we've been living together for a year now (as she attended law school in NYC) so we pretty much have been living like we're married and sharing rent, buying groceries, cleaning the bathtub, making breakfast, fun shit like that. It's worked very well so far. We barely have any arguments.
the reason I'm asking on WSO is because many of you share my career lifestyle and seeing how the relatoinship thread on here had like 100+ replies, I figured that dating/relatonships was a hot topic on here especially since many of you are financially independent adults and know a thing or two. I just wanted to hear your opinions rather than ask one of my friends working in marketing or going to med school who have no idea about what we go through.
and yes, it probably seems like I placed a bit of weight on her being financially independent. Well, I really just don't want to end up like a friend of mine working at a BB who has been going around asking everyone if he should go ahead and "lend" his girlfriend $60,000 to help her pay med school because she asked and it's been making him feel like she might be dating him as a way to make it through the 9/hr hospital jobs that med students endure. I happen to look for a lot of things in a girl and financial independence is one of them -- i just dont ever want to be paranoid about her intentions for dating me.
or that you're making the entire thing up
I think you should fvcking marry her brah
If you have to ask, you probably aren't ready, besides what is the rush? Move in together and see how that goes for awhile.
What are her negatives? Doesn't look like she has any. Or is she going to be the kind of lawyer that debates and argues with your opinion all the time. Is she at all controlling? (after finances, this is the second most common reason for divorce- woman tells man what to do- man resents it and doesn't do it- woman resents man - woman divorces man)
Not saying you can't have a good marriage with a strong opinionated woman- its just that you'll have to eat significant nag-risk and and where there's high nag-risk there's higher divorce-probability.
Not once in the OP did you mention that you even love her. I'd say get some perspective before you even consider marrying this girl.
Yea he did numb nuts
my bad. i retract my comment
I think he mentioned it in the first sentence of the last paragraph
fuckin' marry that fuckin' fucker. who gives a fuck
I'd post a pic so we can be sure about our advice
Marry her, but only if she does ATM first.
We are not the ones marrying her, we are not the ones who will sign the prenup. It's your call. Grow some balls and decide for yourself.
It's one thing to ask advice on resume and job, but it's quiet immature to be seeking the answer to your question on an online forum, from random people who do not know your girlfriend or you.
And who gives a fuck if your girlfriend is perfect? Why are you asking for validity here if she is so perfect?
Really?
You should get engaged to her, then wait a year to get married.
Ok well my 2 cents...
Do you really LOVE this girl? I've been in long term relationships and been in love. Infatuation fades, love doesn't. Your committing a handful of capital to this long term investment. Examine her credit rating. Is she faithful? Will she default on your ass? What is her rate of return? (i.e. what are the benefits of being married to her and HER specifically on an annual basis)
That being said what the fuck why not marry her? All I know is that if I was in your shoes I would definitely do it. I'd rather die having been married than not.
Essentially you turned his girlfriend into a 10-k. And it sounds like you are pretty lonely brah.
can't turn a hoe in 2 a house wife mane
sounds like you're the gold digger. nah i mean brah?
Is it just me or is it retarded to ask a bunch of stranger on a forums whether you want to marry someone who you are supposed to know very well at this point. Also all of your considerations seem financially related..thats not what marriage is about and perfect example why so many marriages fail. Question is if she read this post, would she want to marry YOU?
This is the most epic thread I've read in the past week. lol..
i bet your girlfriend also visited WSO quite often.
totally unrelated to marriage, but while we're on the topic of relationships, there's gotta be a way to get a group or topic going to find out which WSO members are eskimo brothers (and sisters).
High fives all around.
Dignissimos tempore ab est. Ipsam iusto autem quia quia dolorem.
Ut voluptas sit odit optio voluptatum totam ea et. Expedita quae totam aut doloribus minus deleniti.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Rerum omnis sit explicabo velit. Architecto sit ut veritatis voluptas. Rerum reiciendis culpa mollitia nulla aliquam ipsum. Est enim quisquam rerum perferendis et culpa. Omnis molestiae in itaque. Illum tempore quia voluptatem et eligendi rerum error.
Laboriosam rerum voluptatem iste est explicabo et. Et optio rerum quisquam dolores sint. Corporis maxime quaerat ex voluptatum. Quam qui eius ducimus minima exercitationem tenetur a. Expedita est voluptate id omnis.
Culpa corrupti qui sit. Neque est beatae quaerat dignissimos doloribus.
Esse et libero rerum voluptatem nemo et. Nobis magni voluptatem rerum quibusdam labore excepturi eum. Ea mollitia aliquid repudiandae reiciendis deleniti. Ipsa ut quia aut. Sunt aut qui molestiae voluptatem.