What Banking Phrases Can You Not Stand?

Two weeks ago, a thread was created on favorite banking phrases. It blew up, and numerous monkeys shared some hilarious jargon used in this industry. If you haven't seen it yet, I definitely recommend checking it out here. However, this thread got me wondering the contrary...

What phrases or terms do you hate hearing in the office?

 
Funniest
  • "I'm gonna need you to come in this Saturday"
  • "There's an error in your model"
  • "The company is encouraging you to pursue other career options at this point"
  • "We're your friends and this is an intervention, you are addicted to cocaine"
  • "I'm sorry, you are not the father"

Am I right guys?

 

Especially "Thanks." With the period at the end, just to show extra disdain for that model you spent 36 hours on...

 

Execs making excuses by saying "its a challenging environment" or "challenging space"

The world isn't an "environment" or "space". If you're talking about a specific industry or sector, just say that. Environment sounds like you're making excuses and saying everything is beyond your control, like the weather. If it's so bad and truly outside your control, you probably need to exit the business!

 

Robust. The way bankers use it, it can mean one of two things and both are irritating as fuck.

  1. "Robust growth" - just say high growth. Better growth. Whatever.

  2. "Make this [deck/page/model] more robust". In other words, senior banker wants the work product to be better somehow, but can't just say the work sucks because he doesn't have grounds for saying that (i.e. he mismanaged the process or gave the wrong directions or something) and he doesn't plan on giving helpful guidance, so he just tells you to make it more robust. Landing him on my secret list of people who will mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth in the unlikely event I'm ever in a position of immense power.

 
  • "Thought leadership," aka ghost-written drivel on LinkedIn that no one reads

  • "Leadership" when referring to MDs or above. OK, North Korea.

  • "Transforming / innovating / disrupting X"

  • "Price point" What's wrong with price?

  • "Deliver" Unless we're talking about pizza

  • "Utilise"

  • "Impact" as a verb

  • "Tackle [a problem]" Didn't know I was signing up for rugby

  • "Going forward" I didn't ask for directions

 

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