Why work the best years of our lives away?

Interesting post, following.

Because at any point you can leave that life. Take a year long vacation then jump into a less stressful job if you wanted with three times as much saved as your friends.

Plus your doing important work that has meaning

PS your friends all sound jealous

While I agree with your friends to some degree, I like to think anyone trying to convince me hard enough to live how they're living or do what they're doing is misery seeking company in some form.

You'll find success stories on both ends of and all along the work-play spectrum. The key is finding the balance that makes you comfortable and happy.

I mean it is a sacrifice. But just because its, their best years doesn't mean it's yours. I personally couldn't handle the IB lifestyle, but in your 30s you can have a great life after IB. It's not like life is over after 29.

Im sorry to break it to you but my former MD (mentor) put it best when we went out for coffee once.

All the analysts / juniors in IB are sacrificing for a risk-adjusted set of rewards, call it exits, call it comp, call it whatever. A vast majority of them end up realizing it's a shitty career / lifestyle they cant handle forever and get swept up once it hits VP level. I've seen it happen a bunch.

What was different for my MD was he was lucky. Met the right people, was in the right group, was on the right deals at the right time in the right environment. It's like that for most of the rock stars. It's not a merit based industry (the world isn't in general). He's 38, he'll pul 3+ mil this year but again he's not everyone.

It's a sad sheep life. I'll get MS no doubt, but prolly from the same kids that'll get swept under the rug

I write about this at length in this detailed thread here: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/burnout-life-choices

I wrote it soon after a two-month sabbatical around the world between IB and PE.  It got randomly combined with other threads towards the bottom, but my own post generated a ton of valuable discussion.

I'm not sure what the right answer is.  I know for sure hooking up with 0 girls sounds like a nightmare.

I think they have their numbers wrong. You do sacrifice your 20s but it's not necessarily for retirement at 50. By your mid-30s, you should be doing really good.  That's where I'm at now and work a 9 - 5 making 3x of the friends who were having such a good time in their 20s.

Side note: Should not be a big surprise that the same group who dicked around the past 15 years is the first to complain about income inequality etc now that we're in our 30s....wonder why

Have you actually not had sex in 3 years?

Its all relative and its all perspective. What you think is the best years of your life may or may not be the best, and whether your best days are ahead of you are largely up to you. 

There's two sides to this. On one side, seeing as they're probably not as driven, they're compensating for the fact that they have been doing all those things but also don't have anything in the bank and probably won't be home owners. On the other side, they've had a fun time in their 20s and maybe that's worth it to them, the only person that can decide that is them. 

All I know is that 40% of americans cannot cover a $400 emergency expense without going into debt. A lot of your friends are probably living paycheck to paycheck or close to it and there's nothing wrong with that, people have different preferences. Maybe they're not. But the only thing that matters is what you think about your own life and what you want to do in the future. You're seeing the highlights of their life, you're not seeing or hearing about the struggles, low points, etc. Don't judge your life against other peoples based on how they say their life is or what their instagram says. 

I'll tell you flat out that the best years of your life are not your 20s, anyone who thinks that is probably still in their 20s or became complacent in their 30s and didn't do much thereafter. I guarantee your friends will be telling you how lucky you are when you are comfortable in your 30s able to support yourself and potential family as well while they are trying to figure out how they are going to afford baby number 2, buy a bigger house and get a new car to fit the family. Hopefully you're a smart lad and have a few bucks tucked away, if in a few years you come to the conclusion that banking isn't working out you can fuck-off for a year to travel and do whatever you want before settling into that comfy 9-5. Your friends are short sighted and don't see the bigger picture, at the end of the day do what makes you happy but don't let other people try to tell you what should make you happy.

I hope you are sexually frustrated and started to think like a monk but if you are serious - what kinda soy boy shit is this ? Everyone is working their ass off to create wealth at the expense of relationships and their mental and physical health but it sure as hell beats living paycheque to paycheque hoping the lights stay on.

You are making good money and working in an industry that will reward you for being driven. Private equity, hedge funds, venture capitalist, asset managers are not much better and require the same stress in exchange for a compensation package that will put you in a new tax bracket. 

I am not a yuge money whore and do not think that life is all about materialistic items however you are overthinking this and digging a big hole that none of your woke friends can fill. There is a reason you are in banking - maybe it is money or the perks that come along with the job but there is an underlying reason you are here on this earth in the role you are in now. 

I recommend you start lifting heavy and gain some testosterone before you start wearing all birds and move to San Fran. 

Too many "ifs" in your friend's argument. What "if" you don't die tomorrow? Now what "if" you live 10, 20, 30 more years? Healthcare is only getting better, and I'm guessing you can afford it with your finance income. It sounds like your friends are betting on dying tomorrow with that YOLO lifestyle, to be frank, it's stupid. The best years of your life are the years you make your best years. You can be 40 years old having sex with 20 year old girls if you want. You can take $100,000 to Thailand and live like a king having sex with different women every night if that's your thing, you wouldn't be the first man to do it. Or you can grind to be an MD or quit and start a company. Your life is what you make it; however, living your life banking on the chance you can die tomorrow is not the way to go. The odds are higher you'll live a lot longer than tomorrow, and you want to set yourself up not to have to struggle when you're 60 because you were having sex with girls you can no longer remember in your twenties, and you forgot to invest in your future. Being 60 with nothing to show for except stories of the good ole days isn't cool. Ever thought your friends might be trying to convince themselves more than they're trying to convince you?

To put it in perspective look at people that thought high school was the best years of their lives. They were popular, had sex every weekend, didn't study, didn't go to college, got high, got drunk, and lived life like it was a music video. Now high school is over and they have nothing to show for it. A lot of those people end up regretting their choices when they're getting close to 30 because they have to work shit jobs, they don't have an education, maybe have a kid, and life isn't good.

Also think about this. The odds are higher that your friends get a girl pregnant and the party is over than the odds of you dying tomorrow.

1. I saw a meme once that said "the internet is basically people w/o jobs telling ppl w/jobs that they should quit their job"

2. Optimally, you want to operate in the grey area. Meaning, if one side is all free time/no money, and the other side is no free time/all money, you want to be somewhere in the middle. Different ppl have different takes about what side is best. I mean, don't work all the time to not enjoy it, but also, don't chase skirt while having $0 you can get your hands on. Also, don't be dollar absolute. Meaning, if you can make $100K working 9-5, but can make $115K working 20 hours a day, that's all blood money. 

3. Working is all about risk adjustment. Think about what Buffet says (you can see who is swimming naked when the tide goes out). Living on a low salary or not working hard/saving is great until a recession hits, or an unexpected expense comes up, or you lose your job. Or you're not thinking about the future. Really, at the end of the day, you're working to own assets. A house, maybe a business, financial assets, rentals. It's really hard to be a staff person somewhere until age 60 then think about trying to get these things, you have to build to it. 

4. Also remember, both sides of the argument are correct and full of shit. On one hand, don't be consumed by material possessions, but don't be working constantly to afford your third yacht. And also, don't follow the "what is you die tomorrow crowd" (a) like said above, you probably won't die tomorrow and if you do what does it matter what you didn't see (b) ppl say that, but think about how everyone would "really" live in they had one day left, most aren't doing that, they just use it as an excuse to do something they know they shouldn't be doing. 

The issue with investment banking is that many bankers don't even want to be there. They just work like a brainless lab rat so they can self-masturbate mentally to university students checking their LinkedIn page. I have nothing against working hard but if you're not enjoying the work you do and you're spending all your time doing shit you hate, you're a fucking loser. 

So, a little background, work in IB, had to hustle like crazy to get in after being pigeonholed in crappy 9-5 jobs before. Now have a family too.

First, the what if you die tomorrow argument is retarded. If we knew were going to die tomorrow nobody would go to work, we'd just make sure our last day was really fun and meaningful. But since we most likely will not die tomorrow and statistically will live to 80 it makes sense to do things that aren't the most fun today but payoff down the road, like building your career.....

Here's what's going to happen, your 9-5 friends are going to be economically fucked, not exaggerating. Most of the people from my 9-5 past can pretty much forget about economic security. They will work meaningless boring jobs topping out around $90k and will struggle economically. You on the other hand will have the CHOICE, key word here, you get to choose, your friends won't, if you want to keep on grinding and making really good money or taking a little less intense but still well paid position doing something else. 

In addition, your 20s are not the best years of your life, ideally each decade should be better because you as a person keep improving and you make your life better. 

My other piece of advice would be, please take vacation and please date. If you find the right person please settle down, you should not and do not have to trade the most meaningful and gratifying things in life for your career. Trust me, my analysts still manage to go have fun, you should too. 

In short, your path is objectively better than your "friends" who it sounds like are probably just trying to rationalize their life choices and shortcomings. It does pay off but you don't need to sacrifice your personal life for your career either.

For me, when you come from a poor background, it's a no-brainer. You just don't want to be broke ever again. And it's not just about you anymore... Even if I were to have a 9 to 5, I'd still be hustling for more to make ends meet. Some of us don't have an option any how. Choose your poison... or your meat.

It's fascinating how many posters here are creating a false dichotomy of doing IB or living paycheck-to-paycheck.

I did two IB internships, hated both them, and currently work 35-50 hours a week in FAANG. I make 70% or so of what I'd make in IB and have time for working out, dating, reading and travelling. To me it's a much better deal. Plenty of friends that work in interesting corporate gigs (outside of FAANG) as @Mastersz57 said that make a very comfortable salary and are not working nearly as hard as they did in banking.

To OP - your friends also have a false dichotomy in their head. Only making easy choices makes for a hard life, but blindly picking the hardest path is equally dumb. If you are this unsatisfied with your life, consider options that are slightly more towards the middle of the work/pay payoff curve.

No need to sweat it my guy. Everyone's got a different story but I present to you a prospective Tier I comp re: missing out on the best parts of life

I interned at a small, lower MM boutique during my summer as a rising senior, worked the monkey hours doing shitty intern level work, then got offered to work off-cycle through my senior year. All my friends were partying and enjoying senior year (until the pandemic), getting laid by from babes in any sorority you name, and experiencing the 'exciting' college life. Meanwhile, I was walking out of classes on the phone with MDs asking me to spread comps for companies we didn't even pitch and monkey shit like that. I attended zero parties my senior year of college. I sacrificed my early college years trying to break into banking as well as my senior 'party all you can' year which I will never get back. And FYI I work at a no-name shop (great group of guys but no recognition as few people have heard of the firm), so it wasn't like I was walking around with the LinkedIn title "Incoming IB Analyst at GS TMT or EVR tech" to all my buds. But I don't regret it one bit because I hustled to break into banking from a non-target (I mean a non-f*cking target where the best job offered at my school's finance career fair was taking lunch orders and making coffee runs for traders at a commodities exchange).

Point is, life is a challenge and life is too short. F*ck feelings and pursue the grind. Ask questions later. It's all about your self confidence in what you want to achieve. If you're a Bernie voter looking to coast through your so called precious years, then don't develop the syndrome in your 30s of "I want free everything because I was happy in my 20s traveling to Paris, working my 9-5, and now I have a dead end job with boring, non-interesting people." Banking is not the end all be all, it's a path you chose to pursue goals you want to achieve. As a first year, I see nothing but grinding and bullshit, however, I know my end goals and if I do not achieve them, at least I can look back at the hustle smoking a cigar in flipflops and a Hawaiian tee watching Scarface. The world is not going anywhere, it'll be there to explore so why worry. 

Btw, I haven't gotten laid since high school. It's primarily because I'm shitty at talking about anything except how Dean Witter took Harley Davison public in the 80s and why Rhodesia should still be a sovereign country, which most girls are not too into. The gluck-gluck 4000 turbo will come in time, but at the moment I am focused on my career development. Hope you can relate and if not sorry you had to read this CIM on my life. Just remember that your career shouldn't be based off emotion, but what you strive to achieve.

Their points are not that great for a couple of reasons

• Travelling can be overrated I know a lot of people that have visited a lot of countries only to meander around the most touristy districts and pay enormous prices for useless shit they can get at home, complete ignorance in regards to culture, historical impact of sites visited etc. You visited London, ate kebab for 5 quid and did fuck all else? Yeah, we're all impressed
• Since when is sleeping with a lot of women considered meaningful?
• You can learn from past relationships and make friends WHILE working, I have really good friends from work simply because we all know what's it like in finance
• I think it's the opposite in regards to stress your 20's and 30's are the RIGHT time to be stressed. Give your best shot in everything, wouldn't it be sad to be 60 and to have never reached your potential simply because you did not want to be stressed and you did not push yourself a bit
• A lot of people fetishize your 20's and to some extent early 30's "But bro, your twenties are the best years of your life"-Some 25 year old jackass before deep diving into cheap cocaine cut with flour probably. No, they're not your best years, different people peak in different periods in life, it's just weird to say your 20's are the best years when you haven't even experienced 30% of your life yet, it's so dependent on what you want to do and what type of person you want to be. But the benefits of youth are just so exaggerated nowadays and everyone acts like your life ends when you are past 33 or something.