Your Life Depends on Reading This Post

I am glad you are here. You will survive if you keep reading. I will keep it short.

We all know interviewing involves mastering the art of BSing. So here is what people say versus what they actually mean. Please add any examples you have or express where I might be wrong.

Tell me about yourself:

In the interview

I choose to go to x college because it had the best business school in the state and my friends from high school where going there. I got interested in IB after hearing a talk given by an MD from Evercore. I next did an investment banking internship at y local boutique to gain transaction and modelling experience. Since I liked the software deals I worked on and your bank does well in software with deals like X's sale to V, I think your bank is the best way to achieve my goals of working on software deals.

In real life

I got rejected from all the target schools I applied to and x college was the best one that accepted me. I got interested in IB since it pays well and has good exit ops. I did a boutique IB internship since I need relevant experience to get an interview. The software deals I did were fine, but I probably want to work in another industry down the road. Unfortunately, it is easiest to get into boutiques focused on software since my story does not make much sense for other sectors. Honestly, this bank is kinda shit and has bad exit ops but they gave me an interview.

Why IB:

Interview

After attending an event with a banker from Evercore, I realized I liked all the things they did. After doing my boutique internship, I realized I enjoyed working on transactions and marketing a company to investors. Hence, I want to go into IB.

Real life

I honestly prefer HF/PE, but no one from my non-target ever went in these fields after undergrad. Thus, I need to spend two years, preferable less, in IB. 

Why Our Bank:

Interview

I loved chatting with x VP, y director, and z MD. I also liked talking with analyst Joe Shmow and Chuck Bucker. I really liked how they described the culture and how you guys follow x football team, which is my favorite. I also liked how you guys work on notable EHR software deals like X's 10m sale to y since I liked working on EHR software deals in my internship.

Real Life

You and a few others are among the few banks out of 100 I applied to that gave me an interview. I would much rather work at Centerview or GS, but I will take what I can get even though I heard this is a sweatshop and I root for the rival football team.

What 3 words would a friend use to describe you?

Interview:

1. Team player since I worked on x,y,z team project.

2. Attentive to details. For example, I noticed this one minor error in a DCF.

3. Industrious since I worked 90 hours for over two weeks to get one project done.

Real life:

1. Independent since I work well when by myself and did not do as well on x,y,z team projects.

2. Sloppy. Even though I noticed one minor error in a DCF once at my internship, the MD criticized my pitchdeck slides for lack of details.

3. Procrastinator. I did my whole semester project in the last two weeks and had to work 90 hours a week to get it done. I also got a C- on the project, so I definitely should have started sooner.