Critique my cold email template

I'm a freshman at a Canadian target school, trying to get an internship for the summer. As per a lot of the advice I see here, I'm gonna be going for search funds, small PE/VC shops and PWMs. Here is the cold email template that I will be using:

***

Hello Name,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is XXXX and I am a first year XXXX student at XXXX. I found your contact information through source and am reaching out to learn more about your career in Industry.

Recently I have been attending XXXX at XXXX, which so far has taught me some intriguing finance concepts and valuation techniques. I’ve developed an interest in analyzing companies, which prompted me to start forming my own investment ideas and exploring various careers in capital markets.

I am very eager to learn about your experiences at company, and your perspectives on the Industry industry. If you have any availability, would you be willing to call in the coming X weeks?

Best,

XXXX

***

Is there anything I can change to make this better?

Region
2 Comments
 

anso561, pure crickets, that's where I come in. Any of these useful?

More suggestions...

If those topics were completely useless, don't blame me, blame my programmers...

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

Rerum dolorem sint rerum fugit dicta. Praesentium nihil libero placeat a non. Asperiores commodi explicabo necessitatibus quibusdam reiciendis recusandae sapiente. Et architecto reiciendis porro pariatur sunt sed voluptatem ad. Occaecati nesciunt quisquam dignissimos.

Sed quia qui sequi aut officia eius. Ipsum dolor et est ut.

Accusamus deleniti sunt voluptas veniam a qui. Ipsa et vel possimus voluptas nostrum eius. Sed omnis nisi aliquid aut quae sunt.

Ea quae iste voluptatum voluptatibus et. Magni eveniet consequatur quos quisquam ullam. Consectetur facere mollitia omnis animi. Aut sed aut et incidunt. Possimus libero molestiae aut ipsa facere natus.

Career Advancement Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.9%
  • Goldman Sachs 02 97.3%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.9%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.3%

Professional Growth Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.9%
  • JPMorgan No 97.3%

Total Avg Compensation

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (53) $259
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (28) $184
  • Intern/Summer Associate (15) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”