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Try long distance while looking for a job back in Europe
best bet imo, hard to be jobless but show her that you working in the US is temporary. If you guys actually serious it should be doable although difficult
How old are you, how long have you been together, and do you see marriage potential in her?
I’m 27, we’ve been together for 2 years, mostly long distance. Long story short, yes, never met anyone else with with whom I was getting along that well from all points of view
Many things to be considered: Do you even wanna work in Washington , Do you like your current job, Do you wanna work in Europe at all, What are your career goals? Love is important and you are in an age where starting a family becomes a goal for many men. I think you need to weight the pros and cons of the potential move and consider what matters the most to you! I don't think WSO can give you the answer to that! Listen to your heart and intuition, good luck!
Then get down on one knee my guy.
Why the move to world bank from IB? And if you’ve done long distance before why not continue it? The only thing that would suck is the time difference
1) interesting and impactful work, good WLB and benefits, stability, always wanted to live in the US
2) she first agreed to long distance for 2 years (during my IB stint) with the aim to move together afterwards. Now it will feel like I’m prioritizing my career (as I should) but this distance will kill the relationship. We were meeting every weekend / 2 weekends as I was in London which made the relationship last until now
Don’t stress it. You can always stalk her socials every now and then, see how the next lad’s treating her.
If career’s your priority, and a longer LDR is unlikely to work, then be it. Depends what you value and where she places on that list.
Like the other comment said looks like you already had made up your mind because recruiting is a long process and you knew the outcome. In all honestly seems like a great opportunity to work in America - not to sound selfish but would love some colour on the recruitment side of things since it’s quite hard to get a job in America being a European national!
It kinda sounds like you made up your mind already, and you were headed in two different trajectories. I think you came here just to hear a stranger validate what you're feeling. You want to live in the U.S. and you took interviews in the U.S. knowing what it would mean for your relationship if you got the job - you did it anyway. She probably knows that deep down too. You even admitted you should prioritize your career over a woman (I agree at your age). I mean if you want to keep hanging on then you can try the overseas thing, but you know it probably won't work. Unless she wants to move to the U.S. with you then it won't work cause it sounds like that's where you want to be, and the only thing that would have kept you in London is not getting a job in the U.S. You will also probably grow resentful if you stayed in a job you don't want to be in and in a city you don't want to be in for her when you had the opportunity to go. That's not healthy for a relationship either.
Can't offer much to you but I have a cousin whose worked at World Bank for decades. Great place to work. Heard pay is solid (not great) but benefits are outstanding.
Women come and go.
Big career opportunities don't come around often, especially in this market.
Take a longer term perspective and remove the rose tinted glasses.
Career almost always every time my friend.
Is this IFC or world bank?
"Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself." - G. Doyle.
that is deep
If the alternative is leaving my girl I'd happily work as a mcdonald's janitor for the rest of my life
Career obviously
If you ask this to 1,000 different guys you'll probably get a dead even split. Only you can answer this (and I know you know that). So, you need to take in what's written above (by literal strangers on the internet Reddit knock-off monkey poop forum), as well as advice from your real friends and family, and then sit down with an Old Fashioned brother and think.
So I can't tell you with a clean conscience what to do. But I have been around longer than most here, and I have been in a very similar position, so let me share a thing or two. I'm going to assume that you really do believe you love her and see a long-term future together, and that you really do want to work at the IFC - obviously you should question both but you're smart enough to know that.
1) Firstly, she's upset (or mad, people tend to have one of two reactions). And to be honest she has every right to be. If you agreed to 2 years' European LDR and then went and then, instead of moving together, you went and made it (much) worse, she'll feel betrayed and / or just confused. So acknowledge that to her.
2) I cannot emphasise this enough (because I made this mistake and it took a close and wise friend to point it out). Show her how much this is hurting you. Tell her how you've agonised over it. Tell her how much the IFC, etc., means to you (these two apply by the way even if you don't move). If you do move, tell her often how much you miss her. Especially on the weekends. Send her silly photos you take of the cherry blossom or the food you ate in the canteen - just remind her that you're thinking about her.
3) Make the effort. That means "virtual date nights". That means planning trips together (I know, expensive and hard and depends on your financial situation). It's all about communicating that you're making the effort.
4) She will change (so will you). This is a passage of time thing but you'll both mature and may change your outlook on what the future looks like. You may decide the role isn't for you. She might decide she wants to live in the US. You might decide you want to move to a European IFC office, swap to the EBRD, etc. (sorry, I've been assuming it's the IFC here which might not be accurate). If you're sincere about it, tell her that. This is something you are trying, you really do see a future together, and there are several scenarios which can play out as you change particularly in the World Bank and similar institutions.
Outside the scope of what I can have an opinion on (because I don't and shouldn't know your exact situations), but there does need to be one scenario that plays out. Even if you get married and immigration status stops being an issue, there does need to employment available in a location that works for both of you (at least for the one who is working).
Hope this is even vaguely helpful
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