bad reputation after dating
Asking for a friend. (23M)
He hooked up with a few women here and there and, honestly, did a lot of wrong things to them (e.g., asking them to take Plan B multiple times, etc.). Because of that, he’s been avoiding those women in the city like the plague, even though he deliberately chose to hook up with women outside his social circle.
Now for the damage control part: he’s been avoiding them, but at the same time telling other people that “she’s crazy,” and now they knows about it. They seem to be really, really mad and I don't know what they are gonna do next. Is there a chance this could affect his job or his work?
If your "friend" is concerned about the potential professional fallout from his personal actions, here's what he needs to know:
Reputation Matters in Finance: Based on the most helpful WSO content, reputation is everything in high finance and corporate environments. Even if these actions occurred outside of work, word can spread quickly, especially in tight-knit industries or cities. If these women are vocal and connected, it could lead to whispers that might reach his professional circle.
Damage Control: The current approach of avoiding the women and labeling them as "crazy" is counterproductive. This behavior not only escalates the situation but also reflects poorly on his character. Instead, he should consider taking responsibility for his actions. A sincere apology (if appropriate and safe to do so) can go a long way in diffusing tension and showing maturity.
Professional Impact: While personal life and work are often separate, certain behaviors—especially those that suggest a lack of integrity or respect—can bleed into professional perceptions. If these women decide to share their experiences publicly or within mutual networks, it could tarnish his image and make colleagues or employers question his judgment.
Preventing Escalation: He should stop any further negative commentary about these women immediately. Continuing to spread rumors or dismiss their feelings will only worsen the situation. Instead, he should focus on improving his behavior and ensuring that his future actions align with the values of respect and accountability.
Long-Term Strategy: To rebuild his reputation, he needs to demonstrate growth and maturity. This includes treating others with respect, avoiding similar situations in the future, and focusing on his professional and personal development. Over time, consistent positive behavior can help mitigate past mistakes.
In summary, while this situation might not directly affect his job immediately, the risk of reputational damage is real. He needs to act responsibly, own up to his mistakes, and work on becoming a better version of himself.
Sources: Actual Skill involved?, How many of the senior bankers on your team do you reckon will die alone, Being gay/out in banking?, A man trying to keep it together while his life falls apart..., Q&A: Buyside women
Maybe stop treating women as if you are still a 15 year old boy. Real men don't treat women like objects. Such a pity your parents didn't, you know, parent you.
You’d think that ‘real women’ wouldn’t use and let themselves be used in return by unreliable men as disposable sex objects (of which pregnancy is a potential consequence). Or is it just that you believe women lack agency of their own?
You are 1000% single holy shit
These type of women aren't called real women by anyone. That phrase doen't really work too well for women. Try 'Genuine ladies' perhaps.
Anyway, the world calls these type of girls by other, more nasty, names. I won't scandalize you by telling you what they are.
Regardless of how girls behave, it's not going to change the advice I give to OP who, it would seem, drastically needs to hear it.
Ps. Don't put words in my mouth.
del
unc its 2026 these real women dont exist anymore sadly and are far and few between. social media cooked it
Tell me about it nephew. Very few and very far between.
Grow up dude
they agree to take plan B. and now they start to gossip. still don't get it.
Are you still in high school?
He made his bed -> now he’s going to lay in it
Idk bro stupid decisions breed stupid results, not your problem
d
thought you were asking for a friend?
Ah - so it was you
U should wrap it up like the rest of us to avoid exposing your future wife from STD’s and aim higher than girls who do casual sex on the reg. Best thing to do is apologize & cut ties
Forget about banking and join the trump administration. They will be the most understanding and welcoming to former (hopefully) predators.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Yeah, it can blow back on him, bad dating behavior plus trash-talking can absolutely spill into work if it spreads socially or online.
Stop being a wanker would be my advice
Second this
You're a loser for life
"Asking for a friend" had me chuckling.
Of course this can be a risk. Needless to say that it is a consequence of his actions. Now, perhaps you can advise him to take it like a man and grow up.
Small city problems?
This was always a rule of thumb for me; when you date, always remind yourself to behave in such a way that the woman you are with has as few negative things to say about you as possible.
Tl;dr: manners don’t cost anything.
DEL
No one at work is going to care unless laws were broken in which case there is going to be far larger repercussions than a job. Best of luck
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