Biggest and most common BS you've seen on a resume? Funny

Maybe I'm the only one here who absolutely hates cocky people but anyways I just thought mention somewhat of a rant. A classmate of mine was talking about how he has recruiters calling him all the time, etc. So I asked in a non-confrontational way if I could see his resume so I could know more of what to put. In work experience he put he's been a PM for 8 years (He's 20 mind you) so I asked him more about it and says he uses Merrill edge lol. I asked how much AUM ballpark figure he has because I figured someone being that bold would be upfront and his response was "I would never disclose info on behalf of my shareholders" I then responded with "oh really what licenses do you have? 7? 63? 65?"

He then said "Uh... um.... actually I just use whatever money my dad gives me." I thought I'd share and will ask to those of you who look at resumes a lot: What's a funny resume you've seen where you already knew they were full of shit? Or what is common thing people shouldn't lie about but do in their resume? I would think what he put isn't all too uncommon.


Honestly, probably not necessary to write it (or something like it) at all! Your resume is prime real estate for details about your experience and what you will be able to contribute to the firm, in addition to your other interests, and "passionate for finance" shouldn't make the cut if you ask me.


Literally saw a linkedin job ad for a startup's co-founder this morning... Some startups are really something else.


In one sense, yes your friend is spewing BS.

In another sense, it may stand out. If you were an interviewer or HR would you want to talk to the guy who appears to have some knowledge of trading or some guy whose highlight is managing the college economics club? You can hire a garbage man or an engineer--a sanitation engineer.

Found the guy also putting this on his.

It'll get you questions, however I can almost promise you anyone putting "PM - 8 years" as a college student is usually an idiot, lying, and doesn't know anything about actually being a PM. So, yeah. I guess it's great, if you want to give the HR department a laugh and end up on the Business Insider front page soon after.

Unless you're Ken Griffin starting and running a fund out of your dorm room with a fucking satellite dish hanging out of your window and killing it in your spare time, nobody wants you to shove your "portfolio management" down their throats with BS terms and exaggerations. One, humble little line about trading in your PA is fine, and you can tell them more about it if they ask. Which they probably will, if they think you're worth asking.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

My best:

The "Global CEO" title - its cool that you have your own company on the side, but to give yourself a c-suite multi-geographic title for your one-man-show is honestly a bit much.

The "Strategic thinker" - its a graduate favourite to claim strategic thought and then fail on simple market entry case studies.

"Advanced level at (insert every computer program imaginable here)" - I cant recall someone telling me they are intermediate or basic at something like Excel. Everyone is advanced, until, of course, they see advanced.


As far as the advanced level part I completely agree and never put that kind of stuff on a resume. I can see how some would argue that they put it on there because some job postings have things like "experience in MS office required" quite often.


To me, any "investing experience" on resume without a thesis is BS to me, no matter how young or old the person is. Example: "generated a 60% return on a portfolio of 50,000 USD in a one-year horizon". Issues with this one: 1. time horizon too short to judge alpha-generation ability 2. what did that person buy in the portfolio? (if that person says GILD or FB, without even knowing in detail why, that person is just herding, not investing). The 50,000 USD is fine actually.


" So I asked in a non-confrontational way if I could see his resume so I could know more of what to put. "

He showed you his resume to presumably "help" you out and then you go post on here making fun of him.

Got it.

<span class=keyword_link><a href=/resources/skills/economics/human-capital>Human Capital</a></span>:

If you actually read the whole thing I just wanted to see it because I knew more than likely it was full of shit.

yes but he didnt know that. He let you see it assuming you wanted to look at it in good faith...................


From some recent resume reviews ...

"My time as an intern at company provided me with absolutely invaluable opportunities to leverage those skills at [different company.]" Extra emphasis on the word invaluable to describe your typical, 'get coffee, check my calendar' freshman year internship.

My favorite, though, is when people list 5+ languages on their resume and it goes a little something like this: Language skills: Fluent in English, Chinese (basic), Spanish (basic), Arabic (basic), Latin (basic), Ancient Greek (basic), Russian (basic)

Interests: burlesque, Africana existentialism


When people put that they "spearheaded" the "charity efforts" of their greek org. Congratulations, you've shown that you can sit at a table in the plaza for a couple hours with a crappy sign that you made while hungover and try to sell T-shirts that nobody wants or realistically wears for $20.

Incoming Spring Discovery Day Participant at J.P. Morgan Stanley

Is it not possible a professor actually named a class about VC that? I've seen similar for completely unrelated subjects. 

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill

The greatest I have ever seen while interviewing interns at my bank was:

  • 2 months at a consulting firm and 6 bullet points explaining how he contributed to 6 different projects

Pls, if you havent been for more than 1 year, dont ever think of putting more than 3 bullet points per work, try to make it simple to read, you wont gain extra points for making your cv longer, and yes, it makes it tedious to read, so you will lose attention from the beggining if what you state is not meaningful


You guys laugh, but you'd be surprised of how many of those things are actually considered as positive by HR. That's where the problem lies.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

One major problem is that HR has absolutely no idea of what exactly the job they are doing the screening for is. They certainly know the description that is given by the department, but if you asked them what does the dep do, they don't know.

So how does HR screening work? By looking for keywords. (This has been partly automated and it makes you understand how clueless HR is, if they can be effectively replaced by a machine). They look for something that includes enough keywords that match the description of the job they are screening for.

Thus the more bullshit overblown experiences, the better. Started a dozen of startups? ''It shows initiative!''.

It's not even an easy problem to solve, because HR does mostly thankless work that noone with ambition wants to do.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.