Can't poop
I need to poop so badly but I can't. Ate CHICHARON DE QUESO and my stomach isn't doing so hot. I really need to shit and nothing is working.
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Just FYI it's a Mexican dish - literally just fried cheese so I should have seen this coming
Espresso shot and a zyn horseshoe
Z Y N ftw (nic shits baby)
Coffee and a cigarette will fix that.
Try flaming hot Cheetos
Maybe try a doctor over WALL STREET OASIS.
If I thought I had late stage terminal cancer I would still consult WSO before a doctor
You're right. Someone PLEASE PAGE Dr. Rhama
Shit's going to tear you up if it's too compacted.
Oatmeal, TUMs, Pepto Bizmo - if these don’t work, seek medical attention.
If it's really bad, take some of the drinkable stuff from the glass bottles you can get at CVS/Walgreens that'll help you poo. You'll want to get in a deep squat in the shower the first time, that should easily clear any blockage you've got. But you'll be in there a while, fair warning.
Miralax and a lot of water + stretching and exercise
Psyllium powder
You’re welcome
That's very clutch. Short term solution for my short term needs. Thanks boss.
psyllium is hugely slept on, I take a shot of this every morning
No clue what the short-term solution would be but incorporating more fiber in your diet is very important long-term. Fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains, etc are very important. Switching to a plant-based diet helped a lot for me in this regard but you don't need to do that necessarily to get more fiber.
Sorry, but fruits and veggies are for women. I'm a straight male so I eat only meat and cheese.
Join the arbys boys for lunch
Thanks for the update. It's nice to know that a first year analyst somewhere right now cannot take a shit.
You just need more fiber / vegetables.
yikes
Ajajajaj los gringos tienen un estómago sensible
I'm honored I got a reply from you btw
The Chad celebrity shitposter vs the virgin anonymous
find someone to POUND YOU IN THE ASS
I believe that would only further the constipation, no?
sugar free haribo gummy bears... just read this amazon review:
https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC
10/10 worth the read
swiss kriss goated
Short term, if you’re constipated, Dulcolax.
1 pill to get the bowels moving again.
2 pills to get the bowels hauling literal ass at relativistic speeds.
3 pills if you want to develop PTSD and be afraid to ever go near a toilet again.
I am dead serious and talking from my own experience - I had clinical levels constipation once upon a time and the doctor gave me dulcolax.. Nothing worked until I took the magical triple dose. Then I spent an eventful evening on the porcelain throne and emerged disoriented, 10 pounds lighter, and dehydrated as fuck. I was generating a level of thrust that woulda made the Falcon Heavy look like the Hummingbird Lite. I still have a canister of those demon pills in cupboard and thank god every day that I haven’t opened them since.
Long term, eat some fucking vegetables for
Gods sake and exercise daily.
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