Dealing with envy
Been struggling a lot with envious thoughts recently. Im in college and a lot of my old buddies from back home my age are seeing a lot of success right now running businesses and and I just feel like shit, like I’m not accomplishing anything. I’m happy for them but I just can’t shake that envious feeling. Was wondering how you all deal with this feeling. Thanks
Hey there, I totally get where you're coming from. It's natural to compare ourselves to others, especially when it seems like they're achieving great things. But remember, everyone has their own pace and path in life.
From the most helpful WSO content, it's clear that many people struggle with feelings of inadequacy and comparison. One user shared some wisdom from their dad, who said that your goals will always move up the pendulum. Once you achieve something, your next goal will always be grander and that’s a good mentality. But, it's also important to appreciate what you have and how far you've come.
Another user pointed out that it's not about comparing yourself to others, but about focusing on your own journey. They mentioned that they didn't even learn about banking/PE/high finance until after college and it took them a few years to really find their footing.
So, my advice to you would be to focus on your own journey and appreciate your own achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Remember, success is not a race, it's a marathon. Keep your chin up!
Sources: That's it., Recruiting successfully does not mean happiness, I feel like a failure for not getting GS!, Feeling like an outcast in this IB world - struggling academically.
Been there. Put your head down, right down your goal, and get to work. There really is no way around it. My friend from school, international student (higher tuition and tougher job market with visa complexity), did everything right (undergrad gpa 4.0 > IB > harvard law/mba > PE, now executive director). I did everything wrong and just go super jealous (by the time he was at harvard, I was a very unhappy middle office guy). Just assess what cards are dealt to you and also what you've done to sort of fuck it up.... then move on from there. Once you have a short term and med term goals that you'd consider a success and you see yourself working hard and making some progress towards it, this will make you happy and become more motivated (worked for me, hope it works for you too). Best of luck, don't be stuck in the dark place for too long.
I wonder and experience this many time a day.
I went to a top school in my home country, graduate at top of my HS, worked my hardest to get into a good USA college.
From here it was clear most of my uni friends and peers all have it better than me. Every one around me seem smarter, more funny, better at socializing, get better internships to make way for better opportunities later. I try my best to catch up but felt behind every day and keep it in. It is hard to be from other country and both fit in and keep up with people from here. I do my best to learn from people around me and online forum.
I struggle at english and general presenting of myself. I do better in maths and science but I think people think I do not sound smart, and I am slower to comprehend things spoken quickly to me. This makes me envy those who speak well. I can only try to improve this by speaking with more people and watching usa tv shows.
That’s a self esteem issue that you need to work on. We all find success based on our own paths. Plus, most people do not see behind closed doors if these people are actually happy/content.
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