Went and did it boys, finally got myself a GF after years of endless dating and trying.
She is great, however.. only downside is, holy fck they’re expensive. Not only am I now paying for double the grocery shopping and double the electric/gas/water bills but there’s all the additional costs involved, for example:
“I want to eat dinner out” “let’s go for brunch” “i want to go on holiday” “I want Starbucks” “I want to go to the theatre” “It’s my besties birthday you’re coming and need to buy her a gift” literally had to spend $200 on some necklace for some hoe I’ve never met before just because it was my gf’s fcking “bestie”
I feel like im going broke having a gf, the added financial stress it’s given me genuinely wants me to go back to being single. But I’m old now in my 30s and want to settle down so trying to deal with it.
She’s unemployed and wants to be a house wife, so basically just sits and chills all day spending my money. I can’t afford it. She did make this clear from the start she wanted to be a house wife to raise the kids and that she doesn’t want to work. I first thought it was fine because I earn a good salary and I do want a house wife to raise my future kids. But Jesus I had no ideal how insanely expensive it would be. My added cost bill to support my gf is thousands a month.
Now I want to have an honest conversation that I can’t continue like this and she’s going to need to start pulling her weight to help with expenses.
What are some easy decent paid jobs I could suggest to her? I was thinking to suggest like a job at Starbucks or a supermarket but feel she would look at me with disgust if I say this. Also she is very introverted so i feel they wouldn’t be good for her anyway. Any recommendations?
Thanks all!
2 words:
Only fans
Not a bad suggestion lol
Great suggestion and glad you posted up top. The funniest thing to me is realizing that few to no people actually read the comments on these threads after 20-30 comments
Yet some accounts are still continuing to comment elaborate paragraphs, thinking somehow they’re contributing valuable insights to the discussion when there’s not even a discussion happening, it’s just a bunch of random comments that few to no people actually read, maybe aside from some random unemployed former Corpfin manager who’s been lurking on this site for like 20 years and has 100 WSO accounts lmao
LMAOO that’s crazy - I could totally see that
Does she have a college degree? You can tell her to go buy groceries and stay in and cook more with all this extra time she has.
Yeah she has a college degree but from like 5-10 years ago as she’s also in her 30s, I think her major was in philosophy or something
Philosophy or something? You don’t know what your gf majored in?
you say she's great but then don't describe anything even remotely great, you actually proceed to describe a horror show. This leads me to conclude that you enjoy one thing about her that I won't mention for obvious reasons. Sounds like you should release her back into the wild bro. I want to slap the shit outta you (for your own good) for spending 200 on a necklace for her friend that you never met. what the fuck are you doing dude. that alone should have been enough to walk away. that is outrageous to expect you to do that and I hate to break it to you, she isn't going to become more reasonable over time.
Edit: This just occurred to me, but was she homeless before you guys met?
This is crazy
As someone who has a stay at home wife at a very young age (anyone remember Drumpfy?) it's much better to have her spend less than to get her to do some thankless job like working in a grocery store. Plus you get to have her around all the time instead of having her working.
She can make you a solid grilled cheese off the radiator
you think she's the shah of iran?
did she compromise?
What the hell is wrong with you man. Break up with her
Brutal honesty here, posts like this is why I spend my down time at work reading this site and Reddit.
I absolutely love knowing how better my life and choice of wife is compared to most others. It’s like my therapy or something. So thank you for this post man. I’m going to be happy for the rest of the afternoon.
Now, on to your problem. Based on how you wrote your post, it sounds like you sucked at dating. Maybe you’re fat and ugly, maybe you have a terrible personality or lack charisma, or maybe you just have bad dating luck. But it seems like some form of desperation has set in for you. You mention you’re getting old and just want to give a serious relationship a try. That’s a terrible mindset.
I sympathize that you’re approaching 40 and have never had a serious girl and feel like your window is closing. But c’mon man, don’t you have any deal breakers or must haves for a partner? Like what are her benefits for you?
She’s over 30, unemployed and not making you happy. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife. Many couples want the woman to stay home and run the household. That’s fine. But if that is the dynamic of the marriage, the wife has to be financially savvy. This chick seems to have zero financial acumen, or she does have it and knows she can milk your wallet.
So my advice is to take a step back and ask yourself if this women wife material. Be honest with yourself, is she just hot and your ugly and that’s what you want? Because those women tend to bounce once the alimony or child support is locked in. When someone loves you, they cannot take financial advantage of you, because true love wouldn’t allow that to happen.
Nowhere in your post did you mention anything she does to help you or make you happy. This sounds like one of those sad situations where an average looking guy who never had success dating, gets so excited to get a gf, he is blind to all the red flags. The only thing your post was missing was this chick being a single mom! I understand that finally having consistent sex is amazing for you, but is it really worth it man?
She's not taking advantage of him because she wants to go out to eat occasionally, go on vacations, and buy gifts. That's a normal upper middle class lifestyle.
Agreed, sounds like OP wasn't in the financial position to let his gf move in in the first place.
OK boomer
He mentions she has no job and doesn’t do much to make him happy.
Buying gifts is one thing. He said this unemployed woman made him buy a 200 dollar gift FOR HER FRIEND. Not for her, for a friend he never met.
You can’t be the real Phil. He would never stand for simp behavior in his nyc crew.
Rare smoke frog W
They are all wins unless you’re poor or don’t acknowledge prestige exists.
love this schadenfreude lmao
And that's before it gets old, which it does very quickly and every time.
Show me a 10/10 smoke show, and I’ll show you a guy that’s tired of f*cking her.
THE STREETS CALL FOR HER RETURN BROTHER
Her head game gotta be crazy OP there's just no other explanation
Entire thread is insane ignore all these dudes, no one has asked you what you want and if she makes you happy. I bet you if you told them she is 23 they would react differently. Her requests are very normal and actually pretty minimal poor lady has not exactly asked you to lease her a new car and buy her gold weekly. Now, you say you want someone traditional and she wants the same thing. Do you actually see her so far bringing those qualities and making your life easier?
Is she doing the cooking, cleaning already at home? Is your laundry done and everything the way you like it? Does she go and purchase food/drinks you like when she knows you are stressed at work? Has she drawn you a bath? Does she make you smoothies for your health? Essentially does she know all the details that make you feel special. If she makes you feel special and goes extra mile you know she will treat your kids 10x more than way and her whole life will be focused on them, if not well...
As for your job suggestions, those are a total insult and expect her to slap you in the face. Her job is to support you emotionally so you can make more money so you can create the game plan. If she wanted to work at Starbucks she would have chose to already. Now if you had friends/family with a business and she could help them thrive that is a different story.
Your comment would make some sense if they were married for a few years but they have just been dating for what seems like a short time. It is completely insane to have a stay at home girlfriend that you met on hinge 3 months ago. 'No one asked if she makes you happy' she makes him so happy that he made a post to complain about her shitty behavior and is debating breaking up with her. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that since she is 30+ and unemployed and yet still likely thinks she is above a job at Starbucks (as you even say is a job for the unwashed masses) that she very likely is not taking care of all the house work / cooking / cleaning, but hopefully I am wrong because good lord if she can't even do that while he pays for her to sit at home all day....
Good perspective finding a spouse is hard and we do not have yet all the information. That said OP has just mentioned finances for now and said he always seeked this sort of arrangement in theory. So what made this lady the one to give a shot versus the others, one poster says “oh hes 30 plus so hes settling”, disagree maybe he was never mentally prepared to have a spouse, oh he has to be fat and ugly is beyond idiotic thing to say.
Many people meet their spouse on hinge I literally know someone who has two kids and met their spouse long distance on hinge.
To your first point, there I am with you but nooo way man you figure this stuff out now not 2-3 years into marriage if you cannot financially make marriage work you dont jump into it. If she cannot support you emotionally today why even go futher.
Nobody asks if he’s happy because he’s clearly not.
I’m all for traditional gender roles, but a lot of women disguise themselves with the “I’m traditional and want a provider” while they’re actually just trying to leech off a rich dude and spend all his money. IMO there’s no reason the women shouldn’t work when they don't have kids unless she contributes in other ways (cooking him meals, doing his laundry, etc…)
You’re too young and she’s probably not hot enough to be a dependent
I feel bad for all my finance bro friends that commit an insane amount of time to their job and all the stress and BS that comes with it only to have a nagging, useless, and entitled stay at home wife-type. Double pity points if the girl is ugly and the guy is fat or has an office bod.
See this all the time. At this stage in the game you wont be able to change someones behavior, that desire will need to come from within. You are set up for a miserable marriage and the 'easiest' solution that most guys do that causes the least amount of pain short term is to just put up with it and try to earn more money.
There will never be enough buddy. You can't change someones nature. But you can change who you are dating.
Dude this just makes me sad to read. Not in a 'holier than thou' way, just genuinely sad. I'm sorry that you haven't had a ton of success dating (maybe like another poster said you might be overweight, not good looking, short, maybe just avg but introverted, etc). I guess you're approaching 40 now, what I would have said 10yrs ago is go and maximize yourself today (physically not appealing? go to the gym ad get ripped, even below avg looking guys that get ripped consistently go on to at least have decent luck with girls afterwards. dress poorly? dress better. smell average or not great? wear nice cologne). You can still do that today of course
What seems to be going on here is this girl is taking advantage of you, you're thrilled to find a girl who wants to date you and you're going to be VERY hesitant to let her go -- wondering when or even if another girl will say yes to dating you -- but bro if you marry this girl in 10yrs when she's divorced you after a kid of two and some cheating you'll be really regretful you made this decision today.
Modern dating is rough, I get it. But don't make a really shitty decision that you know if your heart you will regret. Go work on yourself on overdrive for the next 6-12mo and put yourself out there in every possible social situation to meet women (meetups, bars, parties, sports leagues, etc) and it should work out. Best of luck man, I am rooting for you
Edit; Hold on, is this post even real? If your post history like 5 months ago you said you were 29 and now you're saying you're in your 30s (seemingly implying you are well in your thirties vs. literally just 30). 30 is a HUGE difference from 39, if you are the former you have a TON of time to find someone real and much better
Man sounds like he’s speaking from direct experience lol
Yeah I was terrible with girls until my senior year of college. Average height but chubby and average face. Then I massively recomped and it was like night and day. I’m offering this advice because I’ve personally gotten waaaaay more dates after doing this vs before. Would highly recommend to anyone who’s struggled in the dating scene
also FYI it’s not like I’m even massive either but it’s clear I’ve got a decent amount of muscle. Doesn’t really even take as much as you think, as a guy we think being big is like 2-3x bigger than what a girl thinks is big / muscular. So even with mediocre muscle building genetics you can do pretty well (again from a man with mediocre muscle building genetics lol)
How is she taking advantage of him? They both agreed that the goal was for her to become a stay at home mom, so she didn't work, which is what stay at home moms do. Save the generic, ChatGPT like dating advice because I don't think his goal is to marry a career woman.
She can be a stay at home mom when there’s kids.
Right now she’s a stay at home GF lol
Save your white-knighting for anime girls.
No one is saying he should marry a career woman, the issue is that she seems to be going above and beyond in spending despite not working. He's gonna be broke af
If she is cleaning the bathrooms and toilets and tub, keep her.
Really? You’d put up with this for sth that costs $300 per month?
Just, no.
She ain't the one.
You seem like a nice kid, so take advice from an old mom-raising young children is a stressful full-time job, and stay-at-home mothers deserve a lot of credit. That said, for this generation a childless young woman ( and 30s is young) who sits around all day and expects to be supported by others is just lazy and will not put in the hard work necessary to be a good wife/mother. There are lots of nice girls out there. Keep looking.
Disagree. A woman who actually wants to be a stay at home mom will be a better stay at home mom than a career woman who doesn't want that out of life, even if the latter is harder working.
She isn't a mom yet, nor is she pregnant, so she has no child-related responsibility. It is one thing to quit work to take care of your kids. I did that and I respect it. It is quite another to not work and take care of absolutely no one and expect others to support you.
Does she want to be a housewife because she wants to manage the household, raise kids, and take care of things on the home front so that you don't have to deal w/ it? Or does she want to be a housewife so that she can sit at home and do nothing.
Frank discussion where you tell her that belt is tightening and she needs to contribute is in order. I mean spending $200 on her bestie is insane. You should have said no - I'll come, but I don't know her, am not buying her a gift (let alone an expensive one). We're not going out to brunch today, how about you make us something? Honestly, if being a housewife is what she wants, and she refuses to work, you should regularly be coming home to a clean house, a home cooked meal, and appreciation for taking care of her. Especially at this point when she isn't responsible for any kids.
If that's unacceptable to her, she just wants to mooch off of you and you're better off moving on, having much less sex for a while, and not making the mistake of a lifetime by marrying this girl
Can’t she get a baito or some sort of easy part time job?
My gf and I agreed that once I pass a certain income threshold (~300K) she can quit M&A and work part time in a luxury furniture shop her uncle owns.
This is pretty common in some countries, as a matter of fact my gf’s aunt has this exact profile and works 3~4 hours a day in her husband’s shop (which is easy work, 2~3 clients per hour max). She gets to keep all her salary as pocket money for her daily non-essential purchases (Sbucks, trinkets, going out, friends, etc…).
Sounds like the problem is your gf’s boomer mindset, you can’t live the high life AND be a stay-at-home wife anymore: everything is expensive, salaries are shit, and it’s not like stay-at-home wifes in the 50s got to go out for dinner every other evening anyway. So either she accepts to be more frugal and dial back her spending (of your money), or she accepts to get a baito to get some pocket money.
Stay at home moms are a thing. Stay at home girlfriends are not.
And if a stay at home girlfriend is expensive enough, and doesn’t offer much besides her body, is she really any different from a hooker employed at a long-term rate?
This is a golden fking comment. Our brother in Christ needs to see this one.
pilates girlfriend is a thing
Don't forget the control premium
The most prestigious stay at home wife or gf is one who opens a clothing boutique in central Manhattan that costs over 200k a year in rent for a tiny store that has 3 customers a month.
However, OPs salary should be high enough to cover these costs.
Otherwise, his wife or gf should not open this boutique.
True, very few stay at home wife jobs are more prestigious than this
I’m reading this different than most people in this thread. Honestly sounds like you couldn’t afford this chick from the start and you forced it. Plenty of women are used to super upper class lifestyles where daddy spoiled them. If you can’t continue to give them that life, and that life is what they want, you should leave them alone or you’ll end up broke. Good luck lol