In what ways do men experience 'pretty privilege' if any?
What is a time you've experienced pretty privilege? I generally hear "pretty privilege" as it refers to women, but not as much men, even though I think it generally applies, better looking people are treated better. So I'm curious as to how men have experienced the benefits of being attractive.
- People are friendlier, smile at you, more helpful staff in general
- Kids stare at you (babies, toddlers)
- Men hit on you
- Girls stare, smirk, want to be around you physically (stand near you, use the gym equipment nearby, ..)
- People assume that you are capable of something you are not
- General assumption that beautiful people are "more healthy" (doesn't have to be the case)
- You can get away with more, just think back to the time when hot murderers went through social media and how many women wanted to marry them
People and kids stare at me too and I'm butt ugly so don't think so
Has this helped you in your workplace?
No.
Reason:
People who are degree qualified/educated, were often born/raised in a Western country, more than likely come from a household with educated parents, (...and all the other bits..) and might end up being a lot more attractive than the average person. Just think how many times our parents taught us about health topics, provided access to sports clubs, the correct diet, risks of drugs/smoking, they sent us to the dentist for braces, easy access to health providers, (...) - look around finance teams or banks and you will realize how pretty everyone is compared to the average Joe.
The firm I am working at has exceptionally attractive people, so it's hard to stand out.
I am only attractive compared to an average person, but my team consists of finance bros who look like models.
(note: this doesn't mean that people from other countries are not attractive. What I mean is - finance people often have a privileged background, regardless of country or region)
From personal experience I’d agree with this
Once, a waitress accidentally spilled water on me. While she was frantically cleaning, our eyes made contact for a split second and we both knew the events would ensue afterwards. More specifically, intercourse.
I've made a very intentional effort to improve the way that I look and it has substantially changed my life in and out of work. I am pretty tall (6'2"), but I was not in any kind of shape, did not really know how to dress, never had braces. 3 years later of working out fairly regularly, Invisalign, and becoming aware of how to style myself I feel has pretty substantially changed my life. I am more confident when people look at me and talk to me, and that has led to opportunity of many kind. I think being self aware and learning what you are good at / where you are lacking is key.
For men, I'm not sure that 'pretty privilege' is a thing in the office for 95%+ of men...but 'sloppy setback' definitely is. Those who are disheveled, sloppy, excessively out of shape, poorly groomed, or have something off-putting about them will be held back by it, more so than if they were simply average, in interactive careers.
Yea man that kid Bruce Wasserstein is so sloppy, won’t amount to nothing!! Jk. Good point
It for sure is a thing. You can get a way with A LOT more (being less competent, joke landing the wrong way, being abrassive, saying slightly offensive things, etc.)
I've worked at companies in the past that are primarily women. Getting hit on in office can be annoying/uncomfortable, but have to say they give you a long leesh if they are your superiors and are motivated to help you succeed in ways that I imagine wouldnt be the case if I was a bald manlet.
Also anecdotally have had more awkward peers struggle with the networking aspect of even getting through HR screens at jobs (usually these are tech guys or IT guys no surprise). If you are attractive and can connect with the person you are talking to they will basically be your advocate.
Generally men don't benefit from traditional pretty privilege nearly as much to the extent that women do, if we define it as "special treatment because people around you want to fuck you", generally in the form of free drinks, backstage access, free entry to clubs or being able to stand behind the DJ.
However, the halo effect is equally prominent for both genders, and it's often not your sexual attractiveness that causes the halo effect but just simply how pleasant you are to look at and listen to. I would even venture as far as to say that if you're in shape, white, with a presentable haircut/outfit, clean-shaven and have nice smooth skin, you'll get a significant halo effect vis a vis 95% of the plebeians walking around on the streets. Same for women if you're white/latina/asian, in shape with nicely done hair and makeup and clothes.
The difference between getting the halo effect and then the next level which is preferential treatment due to sexual attractiveness mostly has to do with features like your height, how broad your shoulders are, your voice (deep = good), things like your jawline, eye color, hairline, lips and eyelashes/eyebrows.
The bar for getting a halo effect in high finance is beyond the standards that I've listed above because that's in comparison to the average crowd in New York, which is racially diverse, includes low-income households and the horizontally challenged as well as LGBTQ individuals, all of which are demographics that drag down the average attractiveness.
I would say to "stand out" in high finance which is typically full of intergenerationally wealthy, tall, athletically built WASPs with perfect hair, skin and teeth is the following:
- 6'3+
- Strongly attractive face (Chace Crawford, Henry Cavill, Ian Somerhalder, etc)
- Clearly broad shoulders and V taper
- Long legs/arms
- Zero acne, facial hair or discoloration
- Blue/green eyes
“Same for women if you're white/ latina/asian, in shape with nicely done hair and makeup and clothes.” So you’re just gonna ignore black women like that huh?
Well statistically that's the women who benefit from pretty privilege. White, (European) latina and east asian.
yes
great comment
Weak answer, what a shame
Bump
might add on that people are more likely to listen to you, look to you as a leader, etc. if you are big/tall, especially in new situations
" I'm looking for a man in finance, Trust fund, 6'5", blue eyes "
Isn't that enough ?
Attractive guy grabs girl's ass: flirting
Ugly creep grabs girl's ass: assault
Unspoken rizz vs sexual harasment
I haven’t gotten any privilege personally probably the opposite…. BUT the other day I went to the local deli and told the guy good morning he gave me my sandwich and told me to go fuck myself.
I also think I got hired 2x and was picked by roommates 2x for being an attractive guy.
Definitely, during my analyst years we all knew to only room with our fraternity brothers or other attractive friends of friends through word of mouth rather than stooping to Facebook/WSO/Craigslist (shudder). I'd hate to spend my early 20s with ugly, short or overweight roommates, would absolutely kill my sex life. All my roommates were WASP, ex-rowing/rugby/lacrosse/football, 6'3+ and intergenerationally wealthy (AKA well-bred and pedigreed which translate to attractiveness) and were in my top-tier frat at a hypertarget. I need to know that if a Tinder match drunk texts me at 2AM saying "Eiffel tower? Are your roommates home" that they can answer the call to duty and not utterly cockblock me when Becky comes over expecting Brad and Thad and sees Doofusstein and McLovin instead.
haha so true
Have you been around hungry married women? That is your example.
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