Las Vegas 2022

May 2014, Little Darlings, LV

I was standing in the pit at Caesars Palace and Timmy screams, “I have a limo picking us up in five minutes. I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR EVERYONE.” Fast forward to seven guys (Cousin Mikey and Cousin Tony included) piling out of a limo in a deserted parking lot on a Wednesday night. We had made it to the “club”. I warn all of you please, please, please never walk into Little Darlings.

We got the shake down from the “manager” at the front door after walking through metal detectors (YIKES). “It’s $500 for a table…”. NO THANK YOU! The place was empty, except for a group of scary looking dudes in the corner of the main room. We decided to order drinks. Funny thing about the drinks….Little Darlings DOES NOT SERVE ALCOHOL. We were offered SPRITE. The bartender told us that, “they make up for it in other ways…”. For the next 20 minutes, some of us experienced the back room and some did not. I suggested we leave quickly once we got the group back together, except we couldn’t find Timmy. WHERE IS TIMMY!?!?! He’s dead. The strippers took him into the desert and sacrificed him to the gambling gods. He’s gone. How am I going to ex…..why is Timmy walking towards the ATM? Where the hell is his BELT!?!?

Las Vegas 2022

It all started with a comment. "Can I ask you to do exactly the same article, but with Las Vegas 2022? Sorry for bringing up an old enough article, but it still remains the same useful, so I don't think anyone will be upset." - @alimanach. This was the inspiration I NEEDED.

Gents, a lot has changed. You’ve changed, I’ve changed, and the world is a very different place. I wrote a post in 2018 (https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/las-vegas-…) that offered some advice when visiting Las Vegas. It’s funny to read now and realize how young and dumb I was. Now? I’m married (hard pass on showing her THIS post), I have a mortgage, I have a child, and (some) gray hair. The last time I visited Las Vegas was February 2020. I brought my wife for a “different” kind of trip. We were hearing about some virus coming out of a city called Wuhan in China. Whatever, it probably won’t be a big deal 🤷🏻‍♂️. 

COVID-19 in Las Vegas

I’ll get this part out of the way. I’m sick of this crap and this is ABSOLUTELY not a political post. When lockdown was put into action, Las Vegas suffered its worst setback since the ‘07 crash. You probably read about how the hospitality/restaurant industry suffered the most. As you probably could guess, Las Vegas thrives on tourists AND conventions. The casinos closed their doors for the first time since 9/11. The lights on the strip were turned off (https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelgoldstein/202…). It’s been almost two years and it’s still very sad to even think about. 

Unfortunately, the pandemic, supply chain/Suez Canal blockages, and staffing shortages are still impacting our favorite city. Masks are still being worn in casinos. HOLD ON... HOLD ON... HOLD THE PHONE....

https://twitter.com/ResortsWorldLV/status/1491853…

WE ARE BACK BABY!!!!!!!! Fun starts NOW!!!!

Please start playing this to build hype and intensity before reading...

The Boys

This is important. Who’s your crew? Who’s ride or die with you when you’re staring down a stripper forcing your friend to withdraw more money from the ATM? Who’s dragging you off the table after the dice go ice cold, but you know another $100 will win it all back? Who’s telling those “nice ladies” that you’re not interested in that kind of “fun” tonight? The boys (or girls) make or break the trip. Cousin Mikey, Cousin Tony, and Timmy have been on my Vegas trips since the beginning. We even went to the FREAKIN HOOVAH DAM with the geriatric unit. I wish I could share that bus ride pic with everyone here, but the boys will remain anonymous. Bring the guys that aren’t selfish individuals because they will ruin your trip. Get the crew together and get to Vegas.

When To Go

For 2022, plan your trip NOW. I already have trips planned for June and September. All of my suggestions from the 2018 post still apply. Thursday PM-Sunday PM/Monday AM is PRIME TIME. I don’t care about the weather anymore. Anytime you are in Las Vegas is a WIN. Shoutout to Cousin Tony who actually has an annual conference during the week and then he rolls into our boys trip that following weekend. He got the privilege of seeing SALT N PEPPAH at the last conference. ONLY IN VEGAS!!! 

Where to Stay

For this update, I’ll be including Downtown and non-Strip options as well as the usual suspects on the Strip. As you all have probably seen, there have been a lot of acquisitions/sale leasebacks/etc. of casinos over the past few years. IMO, the biggest impact on hotel quality was Eldorado (“ED”)  acquiring Caesars (July 2020). ED was significantly smaller than Caesars and it doesn’t have enough bodies to give the properties the attention they need. I’ve been hearing that Caesars hotels are DIRTY right now. ED is cutting every cost/corner they can to justify this massive mistake of an acquisition. With MGM taking over operations at Cosmo (sad face), the Strip is now split into three sections.

• South: MGM owns that ass. This includes Mandalay Bay, Luxor, Excalibur, NYNY, MGM Grand, Park MGM, Aria, Vdara, and now The Cosmopolitan (as casino operator only). Yes, there are a few randos in the mix including Oyo and Tropicana, but you are not staying there. Waldorf Astoria is the former Mandarin, but I haven’t heard great things recently.
• Mid-Strip: Caesars owns dat ass. Bellagio is MGM, but Caesars controls Planet Hollywood, Paris, Bally’s, Cromwell, Caesars Palace, Flamingo, Linq, and Harrahs. As you’ve probably heard, The Mirage (formerly owned by MGM), was bought by the Seminole Tribe (Hardrock operators). Bellagio and Mirage are the ONLY mid-strip casinos not controlled by Caesars.
• North Strip: These hotels include the Venetian and Palazzo (sold by Sands to Apollo in March 2021), the Wynn properties (Encore and Wynn), TI (Radisson), and now Resorts World (recently opened). Please don’t come at me with Circus Circus. Also, Sahara (with the exception of ONE restaurant) and The Strat (big needle) aren’t worth the trips.

What did we learn here? YOU NEED TO SIGN UP FOR PLAYERS CLUBS AT MGM AND CAESARS PROPERTIES. It’s very easy and can be done online before your trip. You can pick up a card at any of those hotels at a “players club” desk. This gives you discounted room rates and comps. I have multiple offers from MLife (MGMs players club) for “free” nights at numerous hotels. If you’re gambling, you should get credit for it. This is how WE WIN or at least get comped rooms for losing mucho dinero.

Resorts World is the new, sexy thing on the Strip. Overall, I hear it feels like a “mall with a casino in the middle”. That’s NOT what you want to hear about your brand new casino in Las Vegas. There are a ton of food options (many Asian) and lots of retail (hence the mall comment). Prices and minimums are coming down since opening, but there is really only one place worth visiting in the entire resort. More on that soon. That was a sick video from the Twitter account though.

My Strip Recommendations: 

• Cosmopolitan: I don’t THINK MGM will screw up this fantastic hotel. Cousin Mikey and Cousin Tony always spend up for the balcony rooms.
• Aria: Good rooms and great location (short walk to Cosmo).
• Vdara: This hotel is very relaxing with no casino or smoking. It’s a very short walk to the Cosmo as well (sensing a theme yet?). 
• TI: This is a cheaper option on the North part of the Strip and I really like the casual vibe. The gambling conditions are also solid.
• Linq: This is the cheap option ON the strip where I’d actually stay. Fun atmosphere.

As I mentioned, I’m generally avoiding Caesars properties due to deteriorating conditions because of Eldorado’s lack of attention to detail and cost cutting. However, Linq is still a solid cheap option and I am a SUCKER for O’Sheas. In the 2018 post, I praised The Cromwell for being an up and coming destination. I am staying there in September because it was renovated somewhat recently (2014). However, gambling conditions are much worse now (no more 100x odds in craps, no 3/2 blackjack, reduction in video poker pay tables, etc.) and I think there is only one craps table left (sad).  I got a nice deal over Christmas and it’s smack in the middle of the strip. Location matters.

The 2018 post did not include downtown hotels and that was a MISTAKE. This is where you can stay to avoid strip prices and gamble at lower minimums. The hotels in Downtown are located on/around Fremont street. You can’t miss it. There is a gigantic video canopy over the street and it’s closed off to cars.

My favorites to STAY at are:

• Circa: BRAND SPANKING NEW and it is a beauty. I’ll get into the gambling conditions later on, but the newest hotel to downtown rivals any of the strip properties. The food, sports book (the best in the country hands down), and rooftop pool are unbelievable. Derek Stevens is the most approachable CEO. Back in 2020, I was playing craps at The D (he owns Circa, The D, and Golden Gate) and he was casually standing at the bar. It was 2pm on a Thursday. I walked over and shook his hand. That man will always get my business. NO OTHER CASINO CEO WOULD DO THIS.
• The D: It’s an older property and the pool is crap, but the hotel itself is decent. Great vibe for playing too. Another Derek Stevens property.
• Golden Nugget: A little expensive for what it is, but still much cheaper than the Strip. The rooms are clean and it’s right in the middle of Fremont.
• El Cortez: The tower rooms have been renovated and are much nicer than what you’d expect. This is a very underrated option right now.

Join Club One player rewards for Circa, Golden Gate and The D. It’s worth the time. I join every players club I can, but that’s the best one Downtown.

The following are the other hotels downtown, but I don’t see why you’d stay there when you have the options mentioned above. These include: Main Street Station, The Cal, Plaza (gross), Binions (horrendous), Freemont, Four Queens, and Downtown Grand. Some are great gambling options, but I’d stay somewhere else. Do not stay at Plaza or Binions. The smell of the casino at Plaza is like old cigs mixed with your grandmother's closet. 

I do have to mention Red Rock hotel and casino. It’s a beautiful property west of the Strip. It’s far from the other properties, but it’s worth a mention for anyone looking for alternative options.

TLDR: Skim the list of favorites on the Strip and Downtown. It's Friday. Make some time.

Where to Drink

There are some repeats from the 2018 post, but also many newcomers. In regards to Suit Up bars (think Barney from HIMYM), there are a ton of cocktail/mixology lounges that all look and feel the same. They charge $20+ a drink in a Bond movie environment. I only want to pay those prices if there is a fantastic view or it’s an easily accessible location. 

Suit Up

• Chandelier Bar @ Cosmo: The verbena. It’s been a staple for a long time now, but worth it. It’s all about the buzz button. Cousin Mikey, Cousin Tony, and Timmy actually brought buzz buttons to my bachelor party on the east coast. Made the night.
• Legacy Club @ Circa: Derek Stevens can have all my $$$. One of the best rooftop bars.
• Alle lounge @ Resorts World: 66 floors up. The only reason to visit Resorts World.
• Commonwealth (Downtown): can be a little more casual, but this place is fantastic on Fremont St. 
• Voodoo Lounge @ Rio: IF you are at Rio, then this is the spot. Spectacular views of Vegas, but Rio is off-Strip and doesn’t have much going on.

For the bars where I’m going to wear a snapback and feel 24 again, I want affordable drinks in a fun environment. Booze is everywhere and easy to get. The open container law shocked my wife when I just walked around with drinks from casino to casino. These bars are a great time and you can get to the tables quickly. 

Dress Down

• O’Sheas @ Linq: Sometimes I just want to watch some 30 year olds behave like they’re back in college. I can’t stop playing at that craps table.
• Beer Park @ Paris: it’s sponsored by Anheuser Busch so the Bud Lattes are flowing, but it’s a cool venue with lots of TVs. It’s a solid place to watch a game.
• Tournament of Kings @ Excalibur: Please hear me out. You can drink beers and eat turkey legs, while watching some jousting. This is perfect for the boys.
• BeerHaus @ Park MGM: This is another holdover from the 2018 review, but it’s a solid to watch games/grab beers. 
• Señor Frogs @ TI: If you want to get weird….
• Front Yard/Beer Garden @ Ellis Island: We will be discussing Ellis Island shortly, but the drinks are cheap and so is the food. This is a nice place to save some $.
• Peppermill: To get REAL weird….but really just a very different vibe from anything else on the Strip.
• Atomic Liquors: A classic downtown bar.
• Gold Spike: This is the place you bring your friends with their GFs/Wives. It has  outdoor games and tons of outdoor tables.

TLDR: Again, skim the list of bars. BULLET POINTS PEOPLE.

In case the first song finished....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UVJj1N1vK0&list=… 

Pool Parties

Day parties came back this past summer/fall. I highly recommend buying a table at a day party instead of a nightclub. Trust me, I want to hear Steve Angello press play for 3 hours too, but IMO the nightclub experience takes up too much time. I’ll get into this shortly. The height of day parties was only 7-8 years ago, but there are still some very solid options. Also, ALWAYS add ~35% to your table minimum and this will be the TRUE price of the table (unless you spend more than the table minimum). Example, $2,500 for a couch at EBC, add the 35% on top of that ($875) and your total cost is $3,375. You need to spend $2,500 on drinks and food to hit the minimum and then the 35% in fees (venue fee, tip, etc.) come in on top of that. I assume some people here haven’t paid for a table before so Buyers Beware. 

Here are my recommendations for day parties:

• Daylight @ Mandalay Bay: VALUE. Why spend $2,000 on a small couch at EBC when you can get a cabana instead? You will get the most bang for your buck here. EDM on Saturdays and hip hop/rap on Sundays.

That’s it. This is the only day party where I can guarantee that the price is absolutely worth the experience. When you buy a couch at the top day parties, you’re paying for the “scene”, which includes the well-known DJ and the models bringing you your liquor. I prefer a better table with a no-name DJ. 

Previously, Rehab at Hard Rock was the preferred destination, but Virgin took over the hotel and converted it to Elia. I see Above and Beyond, Deadmau5, and Cosmic Gate all pressed the buttons last year so it’s a very good lineup and they kept the sand in the pool, like how it was at Rehab. This one is TBD for me. Virgin has been a complete bust so far since opening.

Here are the remaining options (in my preferred order):

• Wet Republic @ MGM Grand: Haven’t been since May 2014, but it’s an expensive option with major DJs hitting the play button, but I really prefer the pool size here when compared to EBC. Daybeds have a separate pool, which is a nice bonus.
• Encore Beach Club @ Encore: I got a couch with the boys in April 2019. It is the most expensive day party on the Strip. We saw David Guetta and it was a good time, but I’d rather spend less money to get a cabana than spend more money for a “better” club. Cousin Tony complained about his set, which was a LOT of dubstep, The waitresses knew we weren’t loaded so we got some “attitude” pretty quickly. The lily pad tables would be fun, but you can’t order food since it’s IN the pool. There is a separate area with blackjack and a craps table, but the minimums were $25. The most high profile pool party, but be ready to bring your wallet. 

• Drai’s @ Cromwell: Less expensive than Wet Republic and EBC, but the vibe is slightly* different. The music is heavy rap and Top 40. Not what I’m looking for, but could be a nice “mid-tier” option.
• Marquee @ Cosmo: As much as I love Cosmo, this isn’t an ideal pool party. The pool itself is SMALL and it’s in the same pricing tier as WR and EBC. Not exactly worth the money.

Other passes for me include Liquid at Aria, Bare at Mirage, Venus at Caesars, and Go Pool at Flamingo. These are all either smaller venues or not the pool party vibe you’re looking for. Sapphire does have a pool party, but…..you can google that yourself and please leave a comment if you do go. Two new day clubs on the Strip are Tao Beach Club at Venetian (big renovation via new ownership, I think) and Ayu at Resorts World. Tao seems OK, but I need to see reviews once it opens in the Spring. Ayu is modeling itself after EBC. Expensive, but big time button pushers (Tiesto, Zedd, etc.). These could be considered in the future. 

TLDR: Go with Daylight at Mandalay Bay.

Clubs

Similar to my 2018 review, there are the “high-end” clubs and the lesser “mid-tier” clubs on the Strip. My preferred clubs:

• Omnia (Caesars Palace, high-end): my white whale. Cousin Mikey has been there and saw Calvin Harris press the damn BUTTONS. The rotating light/chandelier is apparently pretty cool to see.
• On The Record (Park MGM, mid-tier): this is a much more casual “club” than the Omnia-types. Cheaper too. Can easily go without a table and have a decent time. 
• Chateau Rooftop (Paris, mid-tier): I’ve always wanted to go. You can hear it walking by on the strip. Much cheaper option for a table with the guys and it’s outside. Great views at affordable prices.

The following high-end clubs are expensive and you’ll be waiting a long time for the talent to come out. That list includes: XS @ Encore, Marquee @ Cosmo (very underwhelming during my 2018 trip), Tao @ Venetian (2014 trip), and Hakkasan @ MGM Grand. Other options on the strip that you’ll hear are Drais @ Cromwell, Foundation Room and Light @ Mandalay Bay, and Jewel @ Aria. These options are all fine, but the high end clubs will be very expensive and the other club options won’t be as fun as a day party. If you’re with the girlfriend/fiancés/wives then you’ll have a better time, but you should pass if it’s a boys trip. 

As an example, here is the timeline for a night at a Vegas club, if you got a table (just the boys, no ladies):

• 10PM: leave for the club because the promoter told you to “get there early because you’ll lose your reservation if you don’t.”
• 10:30PM: wait in line at the club even though you’ve committed to spend $5K at their venue…
• 10:45PM: get your table. Waitress explains how the night is going to go. She suggests “packages” for “only $3k. I’ve read the menu and understand the rules. No thanks.
• 11PM-2AM: recapping the gambling losses, trying not to blow through the $5k minimum too quickly, and people watching. We’re all married now. Don’t need 4 ladies from Iowa celebrating a bachelorette to drink all of our booze and pretend to enjoy the screaming match of a conversation.
• 2:30AM: FINALLY, Cash Cash makes its way to the main stage. Jesus, we’ve been here for four hours.
• 3:45AM: Cash Cash ends their set. You can’t hear anything. You stumble out of the club with the boys. The bill was somehow $8k. Everyone’s pissed. You didn’t gamble for an extended period of time. That’s an L.

As you can see, you spend a lot of time waiting for the main talent to press buttons (usually 2:30AM). That’s a LOT of time in a club and a ton of $$$ spent. I’d rather gamble and spend it at a day party. Better use of time and money. If you don’t get a table, you’ll wait in line even longer, get treated like peasants, and will be unable to stand anywhere (depending on the club). 

TLDR: Go to a day party instead and hit the tables at night. 

Sports Books

If you are reading this, you probably have gambled on sports in your life. Many of the casinos have sportsbooks. However, a few stand above the rest. Theses include:

• Circa Sportsbook: THE MOTHA OF ALL SPORTSBOOK. This may be the best Sportsbook in the country/world. I am not overhyping this. Massive screens, affordable seats for game days, and an independent odds provider. Derek Stevens can once again have all of my $$$. If you want to spend a day betting on sports, then get your ass here.
• Stadium Swim @ Circa: oh, did I forget to mention that there is a pool on the roof of Circa with MASSIVE outdoor screens and betting kiosks? Yea, it’s real. It’s not a day party, but this would be a great option with the boys. Bring your sunscreen because there isn’t any shade unless you get a cabana.
• Cosmopolitan Sportsbook: small, but I have some great memories with Cousin Mikey, Cousin Tony, and Timmy here. Sitting at one of the tables in front of the bar sweating out first inning totals. 
• Westgate Sportsbook: the original super book. If you’re looking for an option during an NFL Sunday, this is a solid cheap table. Would recommend it for March Madness/NFL/CFB if you’re betting all day.

The other major sportsbooks are located at Wynn, Caesars Palace, Mirage, Venetian, and MGM Grand. Wynn is nice/big, but you’re not looking at a single wall. It’s like they stuck it in a corner and you’re constantly swiveling to look at other games. I am not a fan of Caesars Palace. They charge too much for food/seating and it’s getting older. Mirage is fairly priced, but older. Venetian is underrated and should be considered if the options mentioned above aren’t available. MGM Grand is too narrow with less seating. 

I get chills thinking about the AM coffee paired with the odds sheet for the day. You grab one of those small pencils and get to work. It’s like sitting down to start your work day, but you’re having fun and not contemplating throwing your monitors through a wall. If you only make one sports bet while there, PLEASE do this. One of my FAVORITE sports bets in Vegas is the first inning run total for early MLB games. A 12PM EST start is 9AM in Vegas and it still blows my mind every time. All of a sudden you are sweating every pitch in the Nationals vs. Mariners game in the middle of May. You are SCREAMING when a ball makes it out of the infield. That gets the juices flowing. 

TLDR: Go to Circa Sportsbook or Stadium Swim (pool on the roof). 

Gambling

It's the reason WHY you go to Vegas. Before digging into the current environment, I do need to address what happened when the casinos opened back up after lockdown. Casino executives feared the worst when the pandemic hit. Some thought this would be the end of Vegas because of its heavy economic reliance on hospitality. Would customers come back? Well, they did. Demand went through the roof. That was good news for the casinos, but they also were dealing with a dealer/staffing shortage. Less tables open + extremely high gambling demand = higher minimums. All of a sudden, every table on the strip was $25+ minimum during the WEEK. Weekends were $50 tables and some casinos actually had $100 tables that were not located in the high limit area. This pushed out a lot of low-mid bankroll customers. Was this the New Vegas?

The good news is that minimums have fallen across the board as dealers came back to work and demand isn’t as high as when lockdown was lifted. Generally, you can get a $15 game even during weekends on the Strip. Downtown, you can get a few $10 games during non-peak hours. I believe the $5 games are gone from the Strip and most of downtown, BUT I do believe $10 minimums will be back in the future. COVID restrictions will hopefully end this year and that should bring down minimums. 

Craps

During my re-read of the 2018 review, I remembered that I wasn’t all in on craps….yet. This. Is. The. Game. It’s the tub you walk by in the casino with people screaming after throwing dice. Walking up to a craps table is VERY intimidating. There are chips being thrown around with a LOT of lingo being used. However, it’s a simple game, if you stick to the major bets, and good dealers will explain the flow of the game and payouts. I will add some links at the end where you can read more about the game in detail and an app to download. This is the game to play with the boys. Once everyone learns the basics, it’s a BLAST. Everyone is generally on the same bets and you win together. Lots of highs and lows. Unlike Blackjack, you won’t get screamed at for not playing “perfect strategy” because there isn’t one. Learn this game. 

Blackjack

Playing at a table solo or with buddies is one thing, but sitting down with a bunch of strangers is intimidating as hell. If you don’t know basic strategy or have a few too many, people will make comments. I’ve seen it a lot. You hit instead of stand and then BOOMER Frank is all up in your face. He didn’t get that 10 and he busted BECAUSE OF YOU. It’s a fun game, but other players can ruin it quickly. Timmy was a math major in college so he memorizes basic strategy and can still be 6-7 Captain & Cokes deep before he starts slipping.

Roulette

I don’t get it. I really don’t. Picking numbers and throwing some chips around is fun, but it doesn’t do it for me. The boys and I rarely play when in Vegas. 

Video Poker

I don’t play this enough. Jacks or better is a simple and good way to burn some time, slow down losses (playing quarters), and get some “free” drinks. Simple strategy for this isn’t hard to learn and there is no pressure. The hunt for the Royal continues.

Pai Gow Poker

Takes some time to learn simple strategy, but this is a slow paced game and will help slow down your losses. There are a lot of pushes and it’s easy to have a conversation with a buddy. No pressure like blackjack. It’s worth learning. 

Other

Notice how I did not mention slots. It’s fun to spin the wheel of fortune a couple of times, but this is how casinos make the most money. Baccarat is another simple game, but I’d rather play pai gow. All other carnival games (Ultimate Texas Hold’em, Big Wheel, etc.) are fun for a few hands, but I tend to not play them with all of the other options. 

Where to Gamble

I will post a link to the godfather of Vegas minimums (he meticulously tracks them) down below, but here are the casinos I enjoy playing in:

• Planet Hollywood: very good craps dealers and fun place to play. Good location on the Strip.
• Ellis Island: the BEST value near the strip. You can find $5 games (one of the last left near the Strip) here and the drinks/food are very affordable. This is a low-rollers paradise and well worth a visit. It will get busy on the weekends and you might want to take a cab from the hotel to avoid that walk from Bally’s—>Ellis Island.
• Excalibur: affordable and underrated.
• The Linq & O'Shea's: The Cromwell and Linq were formerly test sites for “new gaming” for Caesars. This included “arcade” games (think Pac Man but you’re betting $ on it or challenging someone to a game), very favorable gambling conditions (formerly at Cromwell, but not anymore), and a different take on sports book experiences (RIP fan caves at Linq). Cromwell was metaphorically stripped down to the studs after reopening out of lockdown. They actually removed table games for more slots (boo). The Linq is still a good time and you all know my thoughts on the craps table at O’Sheas….
• Mirage: I am not sure how this will look once it becomes Hard Rock, but for now this place can have my business. My first time walking the property was in 2020 and I was impressed by the environment here. 
• TI: Yup, let’s get weird. Suck down some frozen margs at Senior Frogs and get to the craps tables.
• The D: Derek Stevens time. This place bumps at night. 
• Golden Gate: TAKE MY MONEY DEREK. This place REALLY bumps at night. Fun story, the Cousins, Timmy, and I walked into the casino at 11AM on a Friday. Only HALF of a craps table was open. BUT, this place lights up after dark. The music is loud and I can’t WAIT to get the boys back there. Oh, the dealers aren’t bad either. Google it.

You’ll notice some of my favorite properties to stay/bet on sports aren’t on the list. Cosmo and Circa are too expensive for table games. I’ve actually never thrown dice at Cosmo. I hate to get negative, but here are the casinos I HATE:

• MGM Grand: this place is a maze and the minimums are always higher than they should be. 
• Bellagio: this casino floor is old and tired. MGM either needs to sell the iconic property or do a facelift.
• Bally’s: this is being converted to a Horseshoe, but I HATE this place. I can deal with a smoky casino, but this place REEKS. The perfume they blast into the air only makes it worse. The dealers were extremely disinterested last time the boys and I threw dice there. The walk through the shanty town is longer than you think. Just don’t go.
• Flamingo: cool history with the mob, but this place needs to be torn down or gut renovated.
• Plaza: see Bally’s, but worse.
• Binion’s: the most depressing casino on the Strip or Downtown.

TLDR: Learn how to play craps. Read the list of casinos I like to gamble in.

Tips

Who do I tip? How much do I tip? Should I tip at all? All very good questions. The 2018 post had a very good baseline on how much to tip certain people:

• Taxi/Uber: 10-20% of the trip amount IF they get you there quick and don’t ask for it, I brought my wife in 2020 (pre-pandemic) and the Uber driver literally begged for a tip after taking us the long way from the airport and stopping at a convenience store
• Guy taking your luggage at the casino: $1/bag, $5
• Front desk during check-in: $50, this is hit-or-miss with kiosks taking a lot of jobs across the Strip properties, at the minimum you’ll get vouchers for something and hopefully you get an upgrade (better view, room, etc.)
• Casino Waitress: $1/drink 
• Promoter: $100 
• Dealers (THIS IS IMPORTANT): I always tip to start at the table. If the dealers are helpful/funny/into the game/etc., I will keep tipping when I win a roll/hand. If they are talking amongst themselves and could care less about you or give you any attitude, don’t tip. Dealers live off of tips and good dealers should be tipped.
• Hand Pay Attendant: You hit $1,500+ on a slot and you get a “hand pay”. I would tip the attendant $20. It’s good karma. 
• Cage Cashier: $1-$5, they never get tipped
• Bathroom Attendant: $1/visit for the guy

My philosophy is to always tip unless the service you are getting doesn’t deserve it. This is pretty obvious, but the people working in Vegas heavily rely on them. 

Restaurants

There are a MILLION options, but the key is to spend your money on quality, well-prepared food. I’m too old to eat at the food court at MGM Grand. Here is a list of my favorite places:

• China Poblano @ Cosmopolitan: Asian/Mexican combo by Jose Andres (who is a fantastic human being, see @chefjoseandres and wck.org, you need to have the salt air margaritas
• Block 16 @ Cosmopolitan: the best “fast” food options in any casino on the strip, you’re sensing a theme here and it’s true that the Cosmo has the best restaurant/food offerings on the Strip, Hattie B’s/Bang Bar/Lardo are all fantastic options for something quick
• Nacho Daddy: this is the Mexican restaurant in your hometown, but actually phenomenal food, fantastic service and quality food, try the scorpion shot for some fun
• Eiffel Tower @ Paris: if you go to Vegas with your GF/Fiancé/Wife/etc., book a table overlooking the fountains at Bellagio, I will remember that meal with my wife for a long time
• Bugsy & Meyer’s Steakhouse @ Flamingo: I am mentioning this because I don’t recommend going into the Flamingo for any reason…except for this steakhouse. EVERY casino has a steakhouse so they are easy to find, but this one is surprisingly good.
• Lakeside @ Wynn: Wynn/Encore have a very good lineup of restaurants as well, this is another fancy option, but great food and a view of the “lake”
• Tacos El Gordo: famous in the area, very good, cheap tacos
• Bazaar Meats: another José Andres special, the only reason to go to Sahara (old SLS)
• 8East: Vital Vegas Brisket fried rice. That’s it.
• Pizza Rock: extremely good pizza downtown 

There are many other great options along the Strip and Downtown, but the options above always deliver.

Vegas Follows

 Mr. Deeds, how do you know this much about Vegas when you haven’t been since 2020? Great question. I have extremely reliable sources! Here are the people that deserve all of the credit:

• You Can Bet on That Podcast: Mark and Doctor Mike are the best. They are extremely knowledgeable craps players and give trip reports every episode. They do talk about other casino games as well as horse racing and sports betting, BUT they are the Craps Kings.
• Five Hundy by Midnight Podcast: Tim and Michelle are also the best. These two hail from Minnesota and have been doing this podcast for a LONG time. I get all of my Vegas updates here. People call in with trip reports and have very solid detail on everything going on. These people are my boots on the ground.
• @VitalVegas on Twitter: Scott lives in Vegas and is in casinos….every day, I think? He talks to waiters, bartenders, dealers, or ANYONE that will give him updates of what’s going on in Vegas. He breaks a ton of news. 
• @Vegas_Advantage on Twitter: John and his wife are the King and Queen of casino conditions in the USA. Their blog gives updates on minimums in Vegas on a casino-by-casino basis. He now offers these minimums/odds/table counts in a report for $15. I bought the December 2021 version. This saves you time from running casino to casino trying to find an affordable game. 
• WizardofOdds.com: Every table game with explanations on how to play, rules, odds, strategies, etc.
• MyVegasBookings.com: Mike Henderson has bounced around as a promoter, but it seems like he’s worked at EVERY day/night club in Vegas. I met Mike back in 2018 and he’s been extremely helpful when booking any dayclub tables.
• VegasPrimer.com: Jenna’s articles are a ton of help. If you want extreme detail on all of the clubs, read her stuff. She has great advice.
• Craps Lite app: play craps on your phone and learn the game. Unfortunately, it doesn’t show payout so you’re doing it all in your head to understand what’s going on.

The End

Wow, that was a lot. This has taken me weeks to finish. Most of it was written during the AM train commute. I can only imagine all of the Boomers side-eyeing me thinking, “what the hell is this kid texting?!?!?!?!”. This is now obvious to you, but I enjoy going to Las Vegas. It has many flaws, but this is where I like to go and escape from the “real world”. I hope you have enjoyed reading this. Now, get your ass to Vegas.

Last thing, the night before you leave is your Last Stand. One last time to win back all of those losses. Before being converted to Park MGM, Monte Carlo was the casino the boys and I went to for our last stand. We’ll be picking a new one Last Stand casino in September.

Happy Gambling. 

Mr. Deeds