Name your own PE fund!
Let's say 10 years from now you start your own PE/HF fund. What would you name it? Here are a few suggestions:
-Firehouse Investments
-Mad Max
-Rusty the Clown
I'm not very creative...
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Well, definitely wouldn't go with either of the latter two because I don't want to scare off any potential investors. I'm probably going to name it after the street I grew up on - obviously not going to say the name, but a pretty conservative title.
c.r.e.a.m llc
"The Solidus Fund", part of the "[last name] family of funds" of "[last name] Fund Managemnet, LLC"
and for the first name I think of people rushing out of a house for reasons related to fire- e.g. something burning down and people in a rush to get out. Much like people doing a run on a fund and trying to rush out before it goes belly-up.
I think good names inspire thoughts of confidence or innovation. e.g. Citadel, Quantum or Renaissance.
Bonifacius, although I think its already taken
Haha, I can see that.
How about Lighthouse Investments?
Fortuna Capital
Citi-Morg Capital LLC
Madoff Securities
10 or 15 years from now someone might be like...hmm, that names sounds familar...he must be famous or something so this fund must be a winner! lol.
That outta raise some capital
I would do one of two things. The first would be to have my funds use classic pop culture references which would segue into what they are investing. The EM-50 Fund would invest in technology, both civilian and military. The Spackler fund is geared at recreational activities. The Dusty Nederday fund would invest in media. You get the idea.
The second way I would name my funds would be to use words that don't have anything to do with the fund but make fun of the whole idea of doing the XXX Fund I, XXX Fund II, XXX Fund III and so on and so forth. I'd do it like this: [Fund Company Name] Management LLC Presents... [One Word] Fund. So it would be like this [Fund Company Name] Management LLC Presents... the Fund OR [Fund Company Name] Management LLC Presents... a Fund OR [Fund Company Name] Management LLC Presents... Another Fund. You guys get the idea
Swiss Finance Investments
yeah it's all about the name. case in point.
"There's a lot of goodwill attached to that name...I think I'll take it!" "[answers phone] Lisa's Tavern. Lisa speaking."
Hmmm.. Lets see.. My Real Estate PE Fund would be "Canary Wharf Capital" or "CWC" and this would be based in Mayfair, London. Right next door to Blackstone and KKR.
Which I shall buyout in due course.
Oh yeah, also the fund will invest exclusively in real estate firms wishing to ruin Mayfair's Victorian architecture to turn it into a skyscraper jungle a.k.a Canary Wharf.
(evil laughter)
how about Passenger Pigeon Investments or Dodo Capital Management, these are sure to inspire confidence.
PE funds have the dumbest names. Self-important douchebags who come up with some overly important sounding crap. Did you know that there's actually a PE firm named Emancipation Capital? Are you kidding me?
Even shit like "Cerberus," is retarded. You aren't some menacing war machine, you do spreadsheet calcs and move money
Absolutely ridiculous.
Damn, there goes my idea for Medusa's Steely Gaze Capital Management
Conan Investments
"We strive to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."
Sonic The Hedge Fund
haha that's ballin.
First Investors Capital Management
Lehman Brothers
Tits and Explosions LLC
Blumie Capital
my future firm:
Allan, Slomberg, Craneberg, Katzenrosen, Rosenburg, Levinowitz, Rosenwitz, Katz Capital Partners
Black Mountain Capital. First it was Blackstone then BlackRock, now Black Mountain
I always figured I'd name it ARK Capital because of the symoblism of security, innovation, weathering the storm, etc.. and cuz those are my initials.
Petrie Partners or Littlefoot Capital.
to bad the Greek gods thing is already taken
yeah, I totally need to come up with a cool theme. trees, gods, mountains, colors are all taken
I'm thinking trenches, references to tarantino movies, or references to zelda
Hyrule Capital Partners
Sub-funds: - The Majora Fund - The Wind Waker Fund - The Ganondorf Fund
We will conduct our HR via LINKedIn
How about FernGully Capital. Keep in mind I would have the women in the office dress as sexy fairies.
Regards
Michael Marin Capital
"we won't kill ourselves in court after we fuck up"
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